Diary 9th March 2014

Well today was to be of quiet day, as with any other Sunday. I was getting ready to head to Crinas when Mom rang me for to give us a feed. I had told her that I'm heading out, and she says "ah no, I'm outside." So she then asked if I was going to Crina's. I said yeahhh. So she offered me a lift. Of which I took. I was delighted and surprised to hear that Crina had called up to me Paps,. So happy for her. As with some people Christmas can be heard for people. For some they can have lost loved ones, etc., So Mom dropped me along with the Chinese she had gotten us.

So Mom then left us to be, and headed off. So Crina and I chatted for a few hours, like any other Sunday. So then we looked at a few episodes of Mike and Molly. What a great laugh. I totally enjoyed it. Brought great memories and also reminded me of what my life awaits. Totally awesome. Then just before I headed off, as it was getting late, Crina advised that I do something about the landlord's eviction threat that he gave me last week. I told her, there's nothing that can be done. The lacky is just a bully. So we went through all options, homelessness, hostels etc., Somehow I didn't get the connection, but the Hep B was brought up, again I don't know why? But I'm thankful thou it was, as it actually proved that my Hep B didn't come int he form of STD., which am delighted(well to a certain degree, cause now I don't have to worry that I didn't get it from a guy). I actually got it in Romania ie my birth Mom. How I came across tot he conclusion, was that Crina had mentioned about Acute and Chronic. And I remember that my STD Councillor mentioned acute and chronic, I asked them can't you not vaccinate me, and they said no, it was TOO LATE, meaning the Hep B came from my mother.

I'm just so happy that my Sis has come back to herself. Boy did we all miss her. Keep well dear. We're all rooting for ya.

So onwards with all my scarfies, on the way home, I walked home in the cold. Then I came across the Declan Memorial Bridge, and a very BRIEF thought went through like a badness in me, whereby I go up the bridge and just fall off it. Again, I just don't know whats going on at all. I will be giving up the psychotherapy tomorrow. I can't see myself going through it for another several months. I thought it was working, but it ain't. My homophobia days will always be with me. I asked my sis earlier on, How can I get rid of it, she suggested good memories and try to think of em. I have tried. Oh Lordy lord lord, I have tried. I feel that am exactly the same as coming out as I am now a.k.a or simply put, I feel that I am back in my days of when I was suffering from Homophobia. Now obviously there's no actual homophobia now, but that's just my feeling.