Diary 28th February 2014

I got up today feeling very nice and grand. I was initially suppose to see the new movie Ride Along with my mate, B. O'F. He told me on WEdnesday that he was going to the Fine Gael Ard Fhéis today. So he wasn't sure if he could make it tonight. So I initially made plans to go and see The Lego Movie on me own then and see the new Ride Along movie. HOwever it wasn't meant to be, as he wasn't able to come out. So I went along to the Lego Movie and throughout the movie I was beginning to feel down, and felt that throughout the night.

So onwards to the Outhouse, where I bumped into an old mate of mine B.J. O' S. Twas wonderful to see him. WE chatted about movies, pro - choice: Referring to the Savita Hallapinavaar(Excuse the spelling). Then he asked me how I was feeling. Somehow I spewed whatever was on me mind. Which I can't understand. This has happened to me in the past. Whereby the last time, I was at a meetup of Gay Dining OUt(if I can recall), and shortly after the meal, somehow I came out spewing with my probolems relating to my homobpohbia. Now this is a guy I never met, technically a stranger, yet I came out with this stuff. It was the same with B. I know B from the past alrite, however as I hadn't seen him in ages, I still came out with this crap. Why this happens. I don't know at all. Will have to consult my therapist no Mon. Anyways as usual I get sidetracked. One thing that struck me was the phrase or metaphor that he came up with: "If my uncle were my Aunt, she'd have balls. "(My apologies if misquoted). But from what I understood, he was saying, try and resolve the issue at hand, but if its unresolvable, try and move on. When he explained this, I persisted, but I can't move on without moving to another country as my fam are like a magnet. He said that his fam have disowned him, something like that, of which he don't mind one bit. But for me, I was wanting this, like when I was doing the blocking on two occasions, but with their magnetism etc., It just not is possible. He then asked me if I had in the past contemplated suicide, I had said yes on a few occasions. He then went onto say is it possible that they are only looking out for you. I said not a chance. That they have a heart of brick. I gave the example that my mom would never forgive me, if I were ever involved in a car accident. He just didn't know what to say. So with that before the time was up for the OUthouse to close, he headed off. I felt, god Georgie u and ur big mouth. I hope to god I'm wrong, but that said, in my opinion he couldn't wait to get out of my presence.
As I felt worse now than when I first came into the outhouse, I proceeded to head up to Men's Night(which is now held in the Library part of the Building). I had a fantastic time. All I need is a bit of company friends and mates. B. S wasn't around, B. O'F was at the Árd Fhéis. I wasn't in the mood to be alone in the apartment, very early in the evening. So with this in mind, I went up to Men's Night. Twas a wonderful and very hearty discussion. One thing that cropped up thou was the connection of Easter Eggs and the true story of Easter ie Crucifixion of Christ. etc.,

Diary 27th February 2014

My yet another weird dreams was whereby I was involved with a shooting crime. Somehow Crina was wit me. I was admiring the beautiful hotel I think. Then afterwards Crina and amongst others were looking at Introducing Editing of Mrs. Brown's Boys. Meaning i was telling others that we may b able to see bad language etc., When I woke up I realised that Editing an item being a TV or whatever actually means quite the opposite where they censor the bad language or whatever.

Today i was suppose to get my pink watch fixed and to view CCTV Footage from the Outhouse regarding my bike being stolen on the 7th. However my sleep took it. So I slept on and realised I was late for Crina. My weekly visit of Crina I got up at 59. Imagine that. hahaah. Anyways, I got myself ready. WE had an interesting time. We chatted bitched etc., hahaha and looked at King of Queens oh and she treated me to see Two and Half Men(Charlie Sheen). Gawd memories. ahhhhh. memories. Totally enjoyed the night.

Diary 26th February 2014

I got up this late afternoon and showered. However during the showering, my house alarm went off(No surprise), so I just continued showering. The problem is the alarm has being going off for the past few weeks whether I'm out or in. I'd to think its the wind. Ever since the weather got horrible over the Christmas and into the New Year, the alarm has been going off none stop. So I just blame it on the wind. So if its windie ie vibration I just let it go. The public or the other tenants don't mind it one bit as you can barely hear it. I'd hear it big time alrite. The reason I bring up the alarm, is that while I was showering the alarm went off and I just ignored it. However my landlords lackie was around for some reason. Not sure why exactly. But anyways, He rang my door bell several times while I was in da nip drying meself. I ignored it thinking it was mom or someone. But eventually I gave in, with my towel covering Georgian Jr., hahaah. So I answered the door. And the lackie says your alarm is going crazy. SOmething like that. As his attitude from the last time, was more or less the same, I gave him the same attitude he gave me. I said to him, Yeah I know, nothing I can do. Its been like this for awhile now. He made a big deal outta nothing. It'd be different if it was annoying other tenants or the public. But it wasn't. Now my folks place their house alarm, by golly the amount the pay per year, yeah that'd do it. I'd hear their alarm a mile away. Its that loud.

So anyways, I got ready for the movies with my mate B O'F. I went to the cinema for to see Mr. Peabody & Sherman on me own, Twas most enjoyable. There' was a lad at the film, who was laughing very roughly. Not sure what he was on. But sure was boisterous alrite.

THen I headed to Aldis. to get a few bottles of milk. haahah.

Then I headed back to Cineworld to pick up my other ticket for The Lego Movie. Twas most great to see me buddy. I got the vibe from him, that everytime he attempted to bring B. S up, he would be nervous something to that affect. Like when he asked me, what if he were to remove me as a friend on Facebook or whatever, I replied well thats his option, I prob would be affected, but that said I can't stop him, I also added that it would be a testing friendship and that if he removes me then chances are that maybe he can't be hack it of being friends with me. Something to that effect. I could tell he was bothered by that. But that's just the way it is. Like I don't force anyone to be a friend of mine. Of course I'd love it if he stayed with me as a friend(B.S) I'm referring to.
But anyways after the seriousness we both headed into the cinema screen and enjoyed a few hearty laughs. Brendan asked me during the movie or was it afterwards i think, more so said to me, he can't understand why B. S. didn't enjoy it. I said in a normal manner, sure ignore him, something like that. So after the movie, we both headed up towards his bus stop. Despite it being raining, I most enjoyed his company immensely. At the end of the movie, one thing that struck me in what Brendan told me was that the movie was very more so Accepting yourself as being UNIQUE. That really went through me. As I hadn't got that idea. On the way to his bus, we discussed this at length. I had said that I judge a person via their actions, or their body language or even the way they speak, or type for that matter. He also made a very good point in which related to the film that a person smiling might also be a person who si willing to show the public that they r strong but could be suffering inside. Like I said, I truly enjoyed his company tonight.

So onwards on I came home with the shopping bag, and ofc osue the rain didn't help. But I got home safe and sound. So when I came home, I searched everywhere for cables as explained yesterday, and still nothing. Just so confusing. So then I continued onwards to downloading my apps for the Android. One of the blogs I'm deeply and  heavily involved in(I will post the link when I think of it) advised that I remove my Google account and retry again. Since then it has worked so far so good, but still not immediate. But at least I ain't waiting hours to download an app. So that's a good thing.

So as you can see mixed emotions was involved in my day, but overlall a happy and an enduring day and productive.

Diary 25th February 2014

No end to these weird dreams. Here's a sample of the dreams.

Crina had been in St. Pats. Mom, Crina and myself wanted to keep it from Dad because of his anger n his scary voice. The 3 of us(Mom, Crina and I) sat down while reassuring that everything would b alrite. The minute Dad came in the door. We were in the kitchen, we cud hear his angry voice. He opened up a piece of paper with a bill of some form. All that was in his mind was money money. Money was always an issue with him. I wouldn't mind but he made a shitful of money before he retired. So he had no excuse. Crina was getting on OK til he came in. The tears that came rolling out of her eyes.

My bike had been stolen(no surprises) I had seen a bike I thought that was mine. While returning it on my way I saw a group of lads that I recognized. The mother(being so strange - Ms Ellie from Dallas) had announced that one of the lads will be going blind. Then the lad in question said she was exaggerating.
So when all that was finished I had seen my bike and return the other. However it was a storm that had taken it out of view. So while I was retrieving it I had apparently broken down over an LGBT person being beaten up and I think killed. A person was trying to comfort me. I had asked the person  in a sobbing state: "Why was he killed". She just didn't know.

When I had eventually woken up, I had a busy day ahead of me.

As I was walking up Richmond Rd., knowing I had to collect my clothes from the laundry, I decided to go to Scribbles to top up my O2 Money, instead of going to the POst Office then to Scribbles hogging my laundry with me.

Then I went to the Post Office, and did my weekly affairs. I decided not to post anything on my Facebook of what I'm doing in the particular building, for one simple reason of which was that it was too personal to post such.

Then I headed to next door to the Clean Freaks(Laundry). I was notified that my bed duvet wasn't ready until tomorrow or the next day.So Ill try again on Thurs. Although I did get everything else alrite.

So I headed back home. But on my way home, I decided to go into Ryan's Hardware to ensure it wasn't a homophobic attack(as the last time, I went in with a PINK watch to get it repaired, the other clerk immediately buffed me off(I had understood cause of the pink watch)) by asking the Hardware person(a different person) if they mend watches or even sell the batteries. As it happens they don't sell it.

So afterwards, I headed back home. I first started putting my clothing away, then making up the bed of what I had with me. Still having problems with my Playstore installation. So I looked up advice. Some advised me to remove the cache, etc., I did so, still felt the same. So I tried a new one, of which I was a bit apprehensive. That was to remove my Google Account on the mobile device. And re add it. I did so, it has slightly improved, but not by much. I just don't get it as to whats going on. Then another issue I was having was the hard drive space of where I store all my TV shows. During my depression, I let all my cables, hard drives get disorganized. This has got me in the butt, as I was trying to think what cable goes with what drive etc., etc., Eventually after about an hour or so, I found the right cables. So I transferred about 175GB of data to a different hard drive.

Diary 24th Febraury 2014

I had my weekly appointment of psychotherapy. Twas very invaluable. Very interesting. He is under the illusion that I should get everything  out in the open. I had told him that as a result of my coming out I CAN''T EVER have a bf EVER in this country, for fear of the same reaction. He was gobsmacked with that statement. WE went on to converse the T-Shirt, which reads "Feck off outta my life, I'm with Team Panti". I explained to him, that she doesn't like the language of the shirt. She being my MOm. I said I don't care. Its just life. The therapist says its all to do with one word "SECURITY". I said in reply. Sure I knew that all along. The minute I came out it was always SECURITY, we're worried about ya etc., etc., So on a short note, I then replied which will continue onto next weeks, that Until I move to the US or simply on the plane, that I can't see the depression ever going. Simply put, if I get triggered, it;ll be back. That sorta thing.

As part of my weekly, schedule, I update my Android Apps, my Windows Apps, WIndows Desktop Programs etc. Normally this all takes about a and 1 hr or 2. However as my Android Playstore was playing up, took more than a few hours. So Im just after finishing updating my apps before my therapy. session.

Diary 23rd February 2014

Well today was to be the quietest of all days. I got up showered. Was trying to make room on my Box. I had to delete King Kong. But can be done again.

I then proceeded onto Crinas. Twas a pleasant visit. as always I came out very happy with my scarfies chugging along with me. awwww. When I arrived Mom was there, might I add very well dressed. Twas very impressing. She had been at a colleague's 80th birthday party. So Crina and I dined and wine as some would say. WE then looked at King of Queens. I'd never tire of the comedy in it. I just keep on dreaming of NY.
Then as I was heading out to go home, Crina asked me what's with the Gaeilge thing or somehow we got talking about. I gave her a brief history lesson(literally speaking) in which from my understanding is the following. Gaeilge is the Republic of Ireland's national language. I had explained to her that Bláithnid Ní Chofaigh is actually Canadian. I don't get the part of the Irish part yet. But anyways, there was a protest on last Saturday.

So I have been looking at TV Shows, and KNOts LAnding. Those are my plans til the PHsyosctherapy tomorrow.

Diary 22nd February 2014

Well today I was suppose to be seeing the film Her with Dublin Film Fanatics, however just as I was checking my emails last night(good thing I did alrite), it was cancelled. Not sure why, but anyways. So I decided to have a lie on. I slept like a log. First in a long long time. I had all me blankies, Inflatables and my scarfies. Oh what a lovely idea it was. I had set things up the bed etc., My other bed clothes are in da launders. It was a wonderful sleep. Not even a dream that I could remember. So thats progress I guess. Mom was banging on my door.(Nothing new in that department). SO after a few hrs, I woke up and got up. I then went out to collect whatever she left for me(Being a chinese). Low and behold I looked out my door window and what should I see but my hattie and gloves that I was going crazy over not being able to find it. I had to do without it for several days. Being cold and all. I remembered that I had it when Mom dropped me home after being with em on Tues night for to show her emails etc. After that I couldnt remember. I rang her back to thank her for the grub obv but more so the hat. I was so gleamed to see the hat. I felt she was very cold towards the idea. Not sure why. She explained that the reason the hat couldn't b e found was that there were papers on top of the hat and her relations: Fina, Michael and Silvia had found it when they were moving chairs. Something like that.
So my plan for the night is to relax and look at Dallas, 7th Heaven and the news.

Diary 21st February 2014

Today was of somewhat interesting day. I showered and headed off to Cineworld to see Mr. Peabody & Sherman. Review here. I had previously booked it online. However when I arrived at the ATM machine in the cinema, it didn't recognise it. So I had to queue up for the ticket. I asked the staff(which happened to be the staff member who wished me a Happy New Year earlier this year) and he said that the booking was "Auto-Cancelled", which I never heard of. He went onto to explain that as I wasn't on time, the booking was automatically cancelled. Not that it didn't bother me. So anyways, I went ahead got my ticket, then headed to the screen to see the film.

After the film, I went to the Outhouse to relax while I was waiting for B. O' F. I got myself a cuppa tea. DK, came down to me to say that BS, wanted to see me ie chat. Men's night has been moved to the LIbrary. I was in the cafe. So I went up to the library. In a joking format(me being an Irish lad, getting my humour from me Da, ) I said that am holding you all to hostage. Patrick wanted to know what was going on, hahha. So BS, came out to me and chatted. He apologised profusely for what had happened. He went onto to explain his reasons. Which was fair, and accepted his explanation. He explained that due to his CP, that he tends to say things without thinking. I replied, while that is acceptable, at the same time, you have to take in the feelings for the other person. So then he went on to say that he needs time apart(you'd swear we were a couple or something). We ain't. I just don't get it. We are friends. I had hoped BESTIES. He went onto say that for him to get time apart, that he may remove as a friend(Facebook, i take it). I was secretly crushed when I heard this. He also went on to say if not removed on FB then to cut down on the contact ie texting or calls etc., He did say one valuable thing alrite. Which was that with the names on this blog, that could harm is reputation or ppl in the OUthouse might know who Brendan S, that sorta thing. So from now on, I'll only use Initials. E.g Georgian S will now become G.S. etc, etc.,

I then headed to the cinema again, this time for A New York's Winter's Tale. REview here. But before I headed off, I asked about the CCTV aspects. The receptionist told me, to just simply call during the week and ask to see the CCTV footage from the 7th. I met B. OF, in the cafe bar. I asked B. OF advice on the above matter, and simply put he said that BS was going a bit too far in terms of removing me as a friend or whatever. I explained to B. O'F, that B.S. wanted a bit of space from me, he said more or less, still its a bit too much or "silly". We then went up to see the film.

I then headed to Crina's to drop up my dinner that Mom had given me, last week, Tues I think. So I got to do the route, I wanted to do the last time. But was delighted that I actually got to do the route. I went up with BOF as far as O'Connell St. He had to get the bus there. So we departed there, I continued onto Talbot St., AMiens St., North Strand Rd., Fairview, Howth Rd., We chatted for a bit.

A New York WInter's Tale

Twas a wonderful and heartwarming movie. At times, it was very moving. When I first went in, I went in without knowing the plot fully. I couldn't get it from the trailer. However the movie shed a bit more light on it. From what I could gather from the film, the plot is as follows: The film started off with 2014. The present day.

The film then rewound back to the 1800s when the child was born(the main character - Peter Lake). He was sent on a boat as they weren't allowed to keep the child. Something to that affect.

Fast forward to 1916(Funnily the same year as the IRISH 1916 Easter Rising - just thought to put that in). Peter(Farrell), was going around stealing his life away. He came across Beverley Penn and instantly fell in love with her. WE were then introduced to an Irish accent Russell Crowe(I found this hilarious, trying to do the IRish accent). He was the baddie in the film, along with our very own Will Smith, whom was the baddie's boss. He was introduced by means of a voice then a light was shed on him. The reaction of the audience was priceless. For some reason, those two wanted Lake dead. I don't know why. But they did. Crowes character had poisoned Beverley to kill her off. Just after making love to Lake, she died. This was very moving and upsetting. Farrell acting was so impressive. Beverley's sister, explained that if Lake brought Beverley to a garden area and kissed her, she might awake. ie The Sleeping Beauty tale. Beverley was actually dying of Consumation(apparently something to do with trying to keep the body cold). As one of Crowe's staff had slipped something in her drink at a dance, I assumed that's how she died. The movie was of type magical as there was a horse with wings. I found the horse very cute.

Fast forward to present day New York City; 2014, Lake had previously lost his memory(again I don't understand, as Lake was actually "killed" by means of thrown in the river.) So he tried re tracing his steps, he gained clues. While he was retracing clues, he bumped into Abby, she asked him his name, of which he didn't know and she replied "Everyone knows their name", and he said "Yeah well I don't". So he continued looking for clues. He got them eventually. He went onto a library where he met a mother and child. Which funnily they actually met already in Central Park, where he met Abby. Sadly the child is dying of cancer. While looking at the past on a computer, he started to get emotionally upset, as he was seeing people he actually recognized. He then instantly recognised the sister of Beverly(whom she's now in her elder years), might I add Editor - In - Chief of The New York Sun(dunno if it actually exists). This moved me big time. She was quite "successful" as B. O' F puts it. The film ended with Lake actually realising that the miracle he was suppose to perform was actually on Abby.

Diary 20th February 2014

Today was a somewhat busy day. Following is the scheduled.

• Lidls shopping
• Laundry
• Crina

Mom collected me shortly after 1pm. Before Mom met me, I was very upset over the passing of one of my dear FB Friends: Richard Hancock. He had passed away of natural causes. He was very young(well no matter his age) that's the way I see him. May RIP. 

So when I got up, Mom met me and collected Crina afterwards. She was waiting at the steps. I couldn't stop admiring her top she had bought with my voucher I gave her for Christmas. We first dined in the Yacht of which I ordered my  salad that I loved.

Then we all headed off to Lidls in Artane. This was a new branch they opened. Twas magnificent. My bill was €25. Twas very good value. For 5 Bread, 5 OJ, 5 Milk, yeah great value. So Mom left both of us home, I helped Crina with her shopping. 

Then shortly afterwards when Mom left me home, I started to get things ready for the laundry. So stripped the bed and now its in the laundry. I was as always struggling with bringing the laundry to the shop. Then just literally right around the corner from the shop, I was battling hail stones. I kinda thought thou when I think about it, that one of the clouds in the sun(might I add), had a funny funnel shaped cloud. While right beside it, I saw a cloud shaped like a crystal clear mountain. Either Way Hail stones pouring outta the heaven, I mean like what gives.

So after the Laundry, I tried again to see if I could get my haircut, So I saw that the door was indeed opened so went up and as I was the only customer, he took me in. I asked him what had happened last week, when I attempted to get my haircut. He went onto explain that the place was opened. I said that I couldnt even get in, he said that he was prob getting lunch or something and that he had forgotten to put in a piece of paper to prevent the door from being locked. ANYways I got my haircut, of which I was delighted. He did say will I miss my warmth of the mop, I said that I rarely ever feel either difference. So I came home, in the sunshine might I add - hahaha as it was atoricuos going to the laundry.

I then headed to Crian like I do every week and on a SUnday too. Twas a wonderful and lovely and a comedic visit. WE were looking at Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa. I most certainly was not impressed with the film, bottom line far too crude. No doubt. So we then looked at The Millers, and The King Of QUeens. Twas a most hearty evening. As I described to her, Instead of me going home crying my eyes out like last week, I was delighted to be walking home with a big happy face or as Lisa Simpson "Put on a Happy Face".

One thing I would like to point out thou, whenever I'm with Crina, my fam(minus the relatives), I feel like the young shy guy(well Crina feeling like a normal guy - depends on the mood I guess), BUT whenever I'm with my mates ie Brendans or anyone in the OUthouse ie THE GAY COMMUNITY(I am GEORGAN, not a shy guy. I have been feeling like this ever since I came out. ie like as if there was 2 GEorgians. I'm gonna have to bring this up with my Therapist on MOnday, see what he makes of it.
Another group of people I feel very comfortable around with ie being Georgian would be my FB mates. I've known a gud few of em be they allies or the LGBT Community. One person I have been in several contacts in recent years is my dear friend Karen Love. I have known her for several years now. How we met(FB) was actually through Cafe World. I recently regained contact with her.  I thought she had lost her job or something. But anytime I'm chatting with her I feel am in NYC there and then. Shes an ally of gays. She ain't gay herself, but fights for our rights. Im proud to call her a bestie. 

Diary 19th February 2014

Well today was to be of somewhat busy day. My plan was as follows

Dad

Cinema.

Mom collected me for to help Dad with installing a pipe, for the installation of the Water Meters. It took a few hours to literally boar a hole of 8-10inches. 

While I was getting a bite to eat, Maura Coffey(Dad's sister in law), rang me via Viber. The call quality was atrocious. From what I could make out, she was due to call down to Mom n Dad and myself. However she turned up a few hrs late. She explained that she had things to do. 

When Maura C was down I had memories of da 4 of us(Mom, Dad, Crina and I) visiting them when we were younger and the way id help Maura with computers(for her ICC Exams).  Oh what great memories. times. Even remembering a particular CHristmas party Maura invited us up, and almost every Christmas we went up to her all the time. 

Funny thing when Maura had gone da 3 of us(Mom, Dad, and I) sat for a bite. Dad was elsewhere. Mom was at the counter. Doing stuff. I however, was spreading scarfy across which I thought was cute. I had been playing with scarfy da whole day. Mom looked at me as much to say George very strange behaviour. 

When Maura had come and gone, I decided to head home so to get ready for the film with Brendan O' F. WE went to see Mr. Peabody & Sherman. Review can be found here. I found it hilarious a second time. Found it very entertaining, and of course a history lesson under your belt. Shortly before the film started, Brendan was about to say that Brendan S, had messaged him about something on FB. I took it had something to do with either 2 things: The behaviour of the Taxi Driver, the other night when the two Brendan's went home late after a movie or the behaviour of BRendan S on the phone last night. Full story can be found here. I understood Brendan O' F, knew what I was talking about. As it happens he didn't. It was something entirely different.

So then I headed to the Outhouse, as during the film, I decided to see Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit, again, mainly because of the two hotties, but more so I wanted to get the music soundtrack via Shazam. I still was getting kept suspended. Clearly its a fantastic movie. Review of Jack Ryan can be found here. When the movie was over, who should I bump into but Eoin(I'm almost sure that's his name), the guy I bumped into last Saturday for the Her movie I was meant to see. Twas wonderful to see him again. I joked "So your following me like Jack Ryan" - hahaha. So we started to walk up Parnell St., towards Gardiner St where he turns off to go home. On the way we were chatting. I just so happened to ask him about his relationship with his folks(namely his mother). He said he has a "Complicated Relationship". I began to think that sounds about right with my one. He was relating to his mother's problem entirely, while I told him mine was in relation to Sexaulity.

Dairy 18th February 2014

I woke up from very weird dreams. I've been getting really weird dreams of late. Here's one for ya, I'm sitting naked on me own in a New York Subway thing(the stop im referring to), just don't know the name what the Yankees call em. I'm sitting there crying me eyes out while covering my face, facing down. Im in a scouting position. Then shortly afterwards, I'm handed a baby, a new born one. I had previously been at an IVF clinic where I donated sperm. Da surrogate mother handed me the child. The gleam that came outta me face and the baby's smile was just something n priceless.

Anyway when I got up, I showered, then headed out to my busy schedule. First stop was the Post Office to collect my state bebenfirst. The proprietor, had told me to close the door(as they close for lunch at 1pm). When I had finished my business, I came out, the guy who tried to come into the office, tried getting my attention as I was in a rush to get to my next appointment. He indeed got my attention. He wanted to get into the office, but I had told him initially that the office was closing for lunch. He still insisted, I said that I wasn't working for them. There's nothing I can do or you can do. I told him he would have to wait til 2.15pm. He said in reply but I just want to pay a bill. I said I'm sorry, there's nothing I can do.

So when I had finished with apparently annoyed customer, I headed onto my next appointment as I said above, which was to sign in to my quarterly State Benefits. Now I had a film for 1.50pm and my idea was to signin and get out so I won't be late for the film. HOwever when I arrived, I had to wait til 2pm to sign in. As I had arrived late. I was told that the first finished at half 12. So I had to wait til 2pm. I was deciding shud I wait til after the film or just wait it out and risk on being late for the film. However I didn't want to risk it, as I just looked it up, that the film is actually 1hr and 48mins. So I said i better wait, just in case, as if I did miss the deadline which is 4pm it closes up shop, I would miss my payments. But as luck would have it, I was on time for the film in question. I actually put it on my phone for the next time(May), so that I'll know the next time, the opening hrs for the Sign On.

AFter the Sign on, I headed straight to the cinema, to see Frozen Sing ALong. As I was late because of the sign on times. However I didn't really mind, as I had missed the ads, trailers, and the Mickey Mouse short. I wasn't bothered by the short. I didn't take to it. So It was all cool. I sang to me hearts content.

So after that I headed to the OUthouse, where I relaxed, as I had a painful walking with the back condition that I have, I decided to break the journey every 1hr walk I do. So for e.g, I had done about an hrs walk from my place to the outhouse, and then me standing for almost an hr in question for the sign on, my back gives out. So instead of being pain, I decided to give my back a rest. So I headed to the outhouse, where I had a cuppa tea, chatted to a mate. Twas nice indeed. So afterwards, I headed back home.

So then I headed back home, had a bite to eat. I then after about an hr, I had head up to my folks of which my mom collected me. Initially my understanding was she wanted me up for to fix her lappy which in my books is to try and revive her lappy via Windows Updates etc., However Ma wanted to know how to check her Emails, send me an Email etc., I initially updated her Norton and Windows. I understood she was finished, so I went ahead restart the machine invoked via windows Updates. However she wanted more how tos to do as well, such as how to look up a website. in this case, she wanted to look up www.freedemliving.com. Then afterwards the Daft.ie. Now she obviously isn't moving out by any means, she's so obsessed with getting me outta my gaf. I don't know what's her problem. As I'm the one who's living here, NOT her, I shan't be moving out EVER unless its for New York. I actually forgot to mention, that Dad was wanting to learn and wrote stuff down. Twas wonderful to see this.

So afterwards, I headed off. Mom left me back. Then afterwards, a short while got a call from my friend Brendan S. He's a had a secret crush on me in the past. In the recent past about a year or two ago, I got into a fit of depression when he came onto me. So he spent an hr on the phone, talking nothing but morbid talk at the time, if he were to die etc., etc., So i disabled all calls from him, and what's worse is he didn't even know what was wrong with me. He still don't I think. I explained to him initially and again and over and over again, that I am not interested him that way. Initially I had a crush on him, BUT not anymore. I went on to tell him, that as I am moving to NEw YOrk, I don't see the point in looking for a bf. Don't make sense. The reason I bring something that happened a few years ago, is that he brought it up again TONIGHT of all nights. He's secretly seeing someone, yet he went onto explain exactly had he not seeing someone. "I would go out with you, then when the time comes for you to go to NY, I would let go of you". You'd swear I was a  piece of meat or something," I ain't, let me tell you something, a piece of meat or whatever, I ain't. If you break up with someone, you just don't hop on the plane etc., and move on, That's why I cannot go out with anyone in IRl, as I will be moving to NY. When I move over there, THEN I shall look for that special guy. LIke put it this way, if you are moving to a country, why look for someone, KNOWING you will be breaking up anyways. Don't make sense. Thats the way I see it.

Diary 17th February 2014

Well today was my weekly appointment. Twas quite interesting. Each week I feel were digging deeper and deeper. I started by telling him relating to Thurs nights events. He was quite fascinated by such. Yes I can agree I was always a sensitive guy. I explained to him, that my parents will was discussed with Crina and NOT me(cause I'm too sensitive), My sister told me that we weren't Blood brother n sister. My mother couldn't tell me(cause I'm too sensitive), she asked Crina to tell me that I was adopted(again cause I'm too sensitive). So in retaliation I just tell lies to em all including me aunty. So to that affect, I told him(psychotherapist), that my mother had lost a son through immature staff of delivery. He then went on to explain that Mom n DAd both sees me as a "replacement son". They see Crina as a NORMAL kid. So thats prob why they treat me as a special golden boy, as they "wrap me up in Cotton wool" for extra protection. When I started to going out wit lads during College, they started to get stern with me, hence my lying to protect them from the truth.  So then the psychotherapist proceeded to go analyse my homophobia, to very simply put down to my lieing. I said to him "Why would I lie about my sexuailtiy". He was agasped. Literally didn't know what to say. So with a teary Georgian, I got my scarfy to comfort me and headed out(obv when time was up), and collect my laundry.

So then after the appt, I headed to collect my laundry. WHile on my way home, I saw my mom's car, thinking it was with Crina. But I learned today(Tues), that it was her Sister Eileen.

So I continued trailing my laundry home, and then just headed home and headed to sleep.

Diary 16th February 2014

I got up and showered to head to see the most anticipated movie of the century(I know I say this all the time. hahahha) Her. I was mostly looking forward to meeting a new Meetup Group(Independent Movie Lovers). Well it didn't help when I arrived slightly late, but nothing prepared for what happened next. I was told that the movie had sold out, the group had told me to book in advance, however I never believed em, I just didn't get it, considering its been out for a few days. It was opening Weekend. I'll have to wait til next time to see it. I then was about to head off, when I bumped into Eoin(I think that's his name), from the Dublin Film Fanatics Meetup Group. Twas wonderful to see him, I recognised him and said hey. He was there to see a movie, so that he could meet hte others when they come out of the movie and meetup in a bar to chat. So we got chatting. He mentioned a few names, and few movies. Some I heard of, some I never heard of. He did mention Don Jon, I kept drooling over him, hahaha. However I most quote a very nice phrase of his. "Modern men". this was in relation to Don Jon when we were chatting about men and pornogprahy and sexual aspects of life. So I decided to head to see the Lego Movie again. Review here.

Then I was expected to go to Crina's afterwards direct, my idea was to walk from Cineworld(Parnell St.,), Capel St., Henry St., CROSS  O' Connell St., North Earl St., Talbot St., turn left at Amiens Street Station(Connolly St., ) AMiens St., North Strand Rd., Fairview, Howth Rd., then Crina's. That would have been haven exercise wise, however it wasn't meant to be, as I left the milk behind. I need my soya milk as crina drinks the cows milk. So with that in mind, I just went home my normal route. then onto Crina's.

WHen I arrived, Mom was their visit Crina as it happens with a Chinese. I had seen her car. She was sorry to hear that my bike had been stolen. So as I was annoyed by the attitude they had treated me over the past week and Cirna too, I decided play em and will continue to do so. So with that in mind, I just denied anything happened. Mom was getting visibly annoyed, but I didn't care, See my blog post here for the reason why this was going on. Mom wanted me up to help her with her lappy. As its very slow, I was not pushed or rushing for it. No doubt. But I gave in in the end, at the end of the day, THEY's are funding my Inflatables. heeheehee. I was deeply disturbed to learn of the treatment my sis recieved tonite from Mom when she was there. She simply put it that she don't have depression. What must a person do to get a Mother's love and affection. Then again she wasn't there when my sis needed someone to wake up from. Seriously my Ma thinks were in da 60s whereby if you died you died, nothing could be done to save. Be that as it may, back int he 60s yeah you probably couldn't the help. But were in 2014, where there is medical help for all sorts of treatments. So leaving my sis to die like dat, dat will get you Manslaughter charges. And I will personally make sure that if anything were to happen to my sism that BOTH my folks will be held personally held response.

Facebook Expands Gender Options | theoutmost.comtheoutmost.com

Facebook Expands Gender Options | theoutmost.comtheoutmost.com

FROZEN - Gay Best Friend version

Found this quite hilarious. Its so cool. BAsed on Disney's Frozen soundtrack. Its the gay version of it. Im hoping to see it again the sing along version on TUes. Can't wait

Diary 15th February 2014

As yesterday was Valentines Day, I decided to take to the bed, in anticipation of the holiday. Unless I am with someone, I shan't be celebrating it, becasue of the failed relationship of my ex(of which I blame certain ppl  - who shouldn't be a member of society). Twas these ppl who broke us up, and henceforth have  been suffering ever since.
While sleeping though, I had quite a few funny dreams. One of which was the upcoming Muppets movie, whereby the two muppets look exactly the same, but one with a red dot on his forehead. That was one,
Here's something for yeee: I was on a boat with which there was another boat(with which I was on). The word Nazis was mentioned. We were about to go into a door, but when the word was mentioned, My boat which I was on, decided to get off the big boat and speed off into the distance.

My other dream I was trying to think of was as follows

I'm with people and they throw an eyeball onto me forehead. According to the dream if ur struck with such you are incinerated. As I had seen it happening. However when I was struck with da eyeball I actually thought I was dead. But yet i survived. I saw something else or at least I felt it. Felt like metal. So I just took a guess dis was da reason I survived it. I looked In da mirror and saw another eyeball but of metal texture. and me looking around at da incinerated corpses. What a nightmare. Now I can recall the eyeball aspect from a Sabrina episode. But not as dis extensive.

Today was to be of somewhat busy day today.

Following is my agenda.

• Career Zoo
• The Lego Movie
• Peabody

So onwards when I headed to Career Zoo in the Dublin Convention Center. As expected it was of no interest to me, no jobs going for my area of expertise - Photography. When I was at the careers fair, I saw a Professional Course(IATI - Accounting Technicians), I used to do as well as my computing. I said to meself, the fact that I failed their exams, and assignments, now my parents paid a hella of lotta of money for it. I said, How come me paps never said anything about the wasting of money that I had done, to me. Why was it on my poor sister on Christmas Day. Its a day I'm never gonna forget. Like think about it, all her faults(like who doesn't have any), was like a movie. Yet he went only on Crina, NOT my mom, NOT even myself. I just don't get dat man. So interesting. 

I decided to go to the Outhouse then to the meetup. While I was on my way to the OUthouse, I came across a protest for irish language to be recognised fully throughout the govt offices. Twas a very interesting protest. I enjoyed looking at it. I most certainly agreed with them. Republic of Ireland is meant to be in Irish NOT English.

So afterwards, I headed to the meetup, Dublin Film Fanatics for The Lego Movie. Review here. I initially went up to the Cafe Bar, in which I didn't see Adam(Organizer), So I asked a lady, she didn't know what I was talking about. I was about to head off, then a lad was about to stop me when he said hey. I asked is he Dublin Film Fanatic. He said he was. SO was happy to be a part of the group I was looking for. During the film, which was very comedic etc., I felt actually alot better. Throughout the day until the movie, I was feeling very down and suicidal(to a certain degree). 

SHortly after the film, I had met Brendan S, he was going to see Endless Love and I had planned on seeing Mr. Peabody & Sherman. Review here. As I was short of .20c, I had to ask my BRendan for a lend of money. Its never happened to me. I kept thinking and still do that the food would be 6.45. But actually 6.75. Felt totally ashamed to ask him for money. Then I decided to head to the screen. I found it strange that the movie screen had started slightly earlier, considering the film was due to start 6.10. Then when low and behold the movie title came up, it was found I was at the wrong screen. Felt so embarrassed. I quickly got my stuff, my scarfy was catching in the seat, but got out. So when I was at the right screen, I settled down and looked at the film. 

Mr. Peabody & Sherman

This movie blew my pants off. It was outrageously funny. As well as education aspects, but why the US gets to see Mr. Peabody wow. As I wright this, I am actually looking up my Box to see if the series is available in Ireland(No surprise - it ain't available over here). Again the basic plot, Sherman accidently goes back in time, and messes it up. I highly recommended for people of all ages.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0864835/?ref_=nv_sr_1

The Lego Movie

I went along to the most anticipated movie. I found it quite comedic. Very interesting. The basic story is whereby the characters are Lego, hence the movie title. They wanna say the world from Mr. Business. What was most surprising were the superheroes, like batman etc., and of course the real life characters ie the family that actually own the Lego set. So if da papa held a lego character, the lego character would actually feel it. However we were all surprised to see who the papapi was(of which I won't spoil the moment. )

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1490017/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

Diary 13th February 2014

WEll today was to be a very busy day for me. The following is what was in store for me.

Haircut
Aldis or LIdls
Outhouse
BRidewell Garda Station
Jewellers
Corrigan's PHarmacy
Crina

Now tell me I ain't sitting on my ass all day let alone sleeping my life away. hahaha. So before I headed on my long awaiting day, I had brekkie first while waiting for Rory O' Neill(aka my true inspiration Miss Panti, PanitBLiss) on Ireland AM(Ireland's version of Good Morning AMerica). However due to the ongoing controversy of the GSOC(Garda Siochana Ombudsman Commission) and the ongoing Weather problems, the program had to concentrate on those issues instead of Rory. So with that in mind, I headed off on my errands as I put it.

So off to Drumcondra to get my haircut, however when I got their there was no one, which I found strange. Maybe the weather is playing havoc with them getting to work or something.

So onto my next assignment(hahha). I decided to go Domonic Street, as I wasn't sure which Aldis or Lidl would appear, I just went with the flow. As it happens it was my fav Aldis was on my path. So I got sugar for my sis.

THen onto BrideWEll Garda Station to report my bike being stolen as advised by Clontarf Garda Station last . THe Garda on duty was most helpful. I gave a brief description. I was slightly nervous. But who isn't.

So then onto the OUthouse, for a cuppa tea before my long journey home well Crina's. Afterall I had walked an hour so far, which was so tiring. When I arrived at the OUthouse, no one was around to serve tea, I was advised that there is training for staff going on atm, so then I decided to head off, but just as I was getting ready, a staff member came round. However as I was gonna be late for Crina, i decided to just to head off to her place.


As I was on my way to Corrigan's Pharmacy to get stuff for myself, I only realised that I was suppose to go to the Jewellers. Never fear, Ill attempt to on Sat. So I made my way very tiring way up Drumcondra, Griffith Ave., then Malahide. I was exhausted after walking another hour. Thats a total of 2 hrs, and thats not even near my place. Aww well as my site(DailyMile.com) asks me how am I enjoying the exercise an d to quote myself "Loving every moment of it". So I arrived of course safe and sound, but still physically exhausted. So as I was getting my stuff, I asked the pharmacist, would I be ale to use Soya milk INSTEAD of cow's milk in Complan. I loved Complan until it started playing up my lactose intolerance. She said yes of course. So with a happy smile, I bought one and said thats gonna be my dinner from now on. Can't wait to start on the stuff.

I arrived at Crina's with a very nearly collapsing legs. I was that exhausted. Like I wasn't even in the Outhouse for 5mins, when I was told it may be nearly a half hour to wait for a cuppa tea. Obviously nothing can be done. We had a great laugh. Overall it was a very mixed visit. For this segment, for the protection of my sis, I will just give a synopsis. I was taking pics of myself using the front camera of my Sammy. She thought I was taking a pic of herself, which I'd never do without permission. This goes to everyone. So make a laugh, she asked that I show the pic of "herself". I made it out to be so serious - hahaha. Really it was a pic of myself facepic. But I made it so serious that she was serious. So when I showed her, we cursed like hell at me, it was unreal. We had a great laugh. But however the night turned sower to a certain degree, again stressing protection. SHe told me that she  had told the two culprits(Mom n Dad) about my bike being stolen. I was shocked and appalled, to hear of such. I thought she was joking or pising with me. Somehow I kinda knew she would tell them. But whats even worse, is not her, its him. He actually knew that I was lying,so why the hell can he not be man enough and say to my face and say, I know you're telling a lie(which he hates - who does), Aww well Im just gonna have to go ahead with the lie. And just pretend Im still the hero in all of this. However nothing was prepared for what was about to happen. My sister in the past has explained that in the past, when she's withdrawing(of which for protection I will not go into), she comes out with all sorts of abuse - of which int he past I have accepted and I was grand. I'd just ignore it. That said, this time round was totally different, which was this time, my inflatable snowman and snowy(pics of which are on my Facebook acc) that took her electricity by storm. We had discussed this in the past, of which I acknowledged and compensated her via a gift of some form. Just can't recall it exactly. Again I don't condone what she exactly she said. Again my POPs is who I condone. I was made out to be the selfish one in this instance. I was deeply hurt, and very teary on the way home. WE are all in hard times, yet my dad had the cheek to say to her that I should have paid her back every cent(well at the very least half of it). Again WHY THE HELL DOESN'T HE HAVE DA BALLS TO COME TO MY FACE AND SAY IT. WAit I forgot, I'm the SENSITIVE TYPE. Im sure my sis told him that he did by getting me a gift, but he said STILL I DON'T CARE. So he paid her.
When I got home, I was shaking violently(not seizure type - the general). It took me several minutes that a wonderful visit was met by a hurtful ending. Now she obviously didn't mean any of it, however as I have said in my previous posts, confrontations etc., WORDS DO HURT and ARE POISONOUS.

Diary 12th February 2014

Today was to be a busy day to day, as in, I was suppose to go and get my haircut and to report my Bike being stolen to Bridewell Garda Station. However, I just didn't have the energy to get up for 3pm. :(.
As the weather was outrageous,  my alarm kept going off waking me up hence my energy levels were very low. Then someone rang my doorbell once then went. Then I kept hearing a bang bang constantly, couldn't figure it out. So I just tried blanking it outta me mind. So while this was going on outside, I was thinking about me ex, which I have been of recent times. Don't know why. I then wanted to proclaim my love to him, but instead of saying I Love You Keith, I actually said Sean a guy I have been chatting to for a while now. I was thinking like this as I have been feeling unloved and very lonely of late. While I welcome my sister's new found friendship very much, and her depression hasnt been of da best, I have been feeling unloved with my folks lies don't help. As explained yesterday, I didn't ask them, why do they want me in their lives, if they can't accept their son etc.,

Usually if i'm going to the cinema with my mate Brendan O' F, we would arrange the night before or at least I'd get a missed call when I wake up and then we arrange. However when I didn't see anything, I was thinking sure I'll leave Dallas and Knots Landing(let the Box fill up - hence they don't get recorded) and just sleep it out, as I don't want to go to the cinema on me own AGAIN. As I said to Brendan S in the Outhouse last week, its grand if you want to be on your own, or with someone, depends on your mood etc., But low and behold I was delighted when Brendan O' F rang me, to see if I was up to see the film. Iniitally we were gonna see Dallas Buyer's Club, but becuase he's a homophobic ass(based on a true story), I wasn't in the mood for more crap coming out of a non education ass, so we diecided to head to see RoboCop. Review here.So I proceeded to head to the cinema (by walk hahaha). He rang me to remind me that the film begins at half 8, of which was no probs, as I'd be there by quarter past, at the very least.  So when I arrived, who should be there but my other bestie Brendan S. So as the half 8 showing was an iMax showing, I didn't have enough cash for iMax, and besides I told em, the fact that the RoboCop iMax was not the best I've encountered in therms of iMax, and not only that we weren't given glasses the last time I was there last Friday night. I then learned from Brendan O' F, that it was actually iMax 2D, which I never heard of. But anyways I'm getting sidetracked, bottomline is, that we all decided to go to the 2D version which was jsut as good. This was at 9.15. So we all headed to the Cafe Bar where there's alcohol. So we just chatted quietly like tree bachelors etc., Brendan S, brought up a very intriguing topic, in that whenever he sees an attractive guy or seeing a guy he likes or whatever, he gets a hornball(hardon). I found it quite interesting, as I explained to em, that whenever I was with my ex, I never got a hardon, only if he were in his undies or whatever. But out and about nope never. So then Brendan S, asked a question which I made it into a joke. He said its a personal question and can he ask us both(Both Brendan O' F, and myself). So as a joke, I said to Brendan S, you want to know how big our dong is. We all had a great hearty laugh. Even as I right this, I am breaking my shite laughing. hahaha. I understood Brendan O' F knew my joke, but I told him anyways. So when we all settled down, we got serious and the question that Brendan S wanted to ask us, was actually interesting "When you look for a guy, what do you look for. Personality or Looks?". Brendan O' F replied with something simple but elegant. He would go with  personality as natural. So then Brendan S asked me, what about you George, which would you prefer, I began by replying with a question which was "Must you have a sexual attraction to a guy that you find attractive emotionally or at the very least is it normal to have emotional attraction to a guy, than to have a sexual attraction". I then told the lads that with ex and I, there was no sexual intimacy.  Although me ex would hint towards me several times. Brendan O' F asked me was it that the lack of knowledge or that you weren't attracted to him. I immediately said to him automatically lack of knowledge.While we were chatting, Brendan S, what does it mean when someone has the butterflys, which I've had several times. Brendan O' F replied "if your nervous about something". For me if i'm nervous I say wrong things, garbled, me heart pumping etc., We all left with the thought of the question I had asked em to the actual screen. Brendan O' F on the way told me that it yeah that it is normal. I asked Brendan O' F before the film, began the exact same thing we were discussing before we headed up, and his reply was, well if there's no sexual attraction but just emotional attraction, he proceeded to say, that its probably just a friendship that it will end up. Which took me a while to get use to the idea, in the end actually agreeing with him. As  I have heard that it when you're with someone, that you need emotional, INTIMACY amongst other items.

Overall twas a wonderful evening full of advice, laughs,(where I get da laughs from me Da's jokes). Great night out was had by all.

Diary 11th February 2014

I had very interested dreams. One of which I was expecting a drag queen r cross dresser for a visit.  However it wasn't meant to be. Maureen had barged her way in. BUT it wasn't Maureen it was her sister Colette.  So I said excuse me but I'm expecting someone.  She was leaving stuff for me.  Then afterwards I'm a separate dream apparently I was living at home.  Me paps had a wok system installed.  Crina had only come home from hospital.  She sat on the steps waiting for me.  She had welcomed me home. Before the dream ended I remember asking dad "so u got it installed then", he replied very hesitantly. You see when we ever we would get something installed or buy a new appliances or even get extensions building to da house I would get very excited.
Another dream occurred at Maureens.  Where by I was collecting OJ bottles of cartons.  I had to move them, so dat the bottles of cartons wudnt block da door I had to double em up.
My last dream which was kinda scary involved me in cloudy scenery. Everytime I dropped down i had too see if I cud stay with a particular monster.  Which funnily enough were the same monsters as those in some movie I've seen.

So there was this question, I wanna asked my folks that my THerapist, began to think me on. And that was if you accept a person as a gay person etc., thats grand, BUT if you don't accept a person for their sexuality why keep contact with them so to speak. My therapist in replied to me: "Every person has a story": This began playing with my mind in the most severest of forms. So I decided to actually ask them this particular question. So while I was showering, All these racy thoughts were racing through my mind etc., such as if they don't accept me the PROPER way, that i'd attempt suicide. I then recall in me mind that if Crina were looking for me, I had sent the text notifying "if you can't get through to me, you'll know where I am". And then it went on to tell my sis, to please tell the 2 BRendans(they's me besties.) and that I'd see em.

So afterwards, I got myself a brekkie, and looked at MOnday's news. Then as I was about to head out to collect my state benefits, I had lost my card(AGAIN!!!!!) which is required for the collection of the state benefits. I was a bit anxious in getting to the bank before 4pm incase it didn't work in the post office. However with me looking for the card, I was too late. So it just had to be pure luck for it to work int eh Post Office.

As I had to get my laundry to be done, I had to trek it all the way to the laundry in Drumcondra, then to the post office. But as luck would have it, the card(bank) worked like a dream.

So then onwards to Ryans HArdware to get a new battery for the watch. However with a surprise turn, he didn't have it. I couldn't open the battery compartment. There was a customer there, and he had said something in the line of, "yeah didn't you just have something in" something like that he said. I was a bit disappointed actually to the point a teary came out. So I just assumed it was becasue of being gay or something(Pink watch).

So then in the cold, snowy wintery weather in February!!!!! I strayed up to Mom n Dad's. Twas lovely to see em. I felt like home once more. They asked me how my weekly apts, are going etc., I said everything's alrite EXCEPT I had told them, that there was a statement that the therapist had been troubling me, more tot he question I had asked him. I asked them, "Why do you want me in your lives, if you don't accept me being gay". Mom, then replied "but of course we do". I proceeded "no you don't". She asked "why?" I said, that "the fact you think I'm gonna find a lassie". I told her, "thats not accepting me, there's no question of it. " and Dad smiling away there. I said to myself, just gonna leave it. So then they told me they were over at my Aunty, as she has a cold. They told me that she wants her laptop fixed, and I had told em yeah I know about it, but nothing was prepared for what was to happen next. I asked them, how much will it be to get it fixed. It was my understanding that Maureen had to get it sent away to be fixed. HOWEVER, actually they wanted me to do it. HOW very cute and sly. As I had told her, that I didn't want to fix, let her Sister's get it fixed or fix it. When Dad told me that "She is paying in advance" something like that. I still didn't get it was me. It was one hella of laugh arlite.
So I proceeded to get it fixed, Updating Windows, Resetting her Email password, Disk CLeanup, Internet Browser Cleanup.
So as the hardware guy didn't help me with the watch, I had to ask my Dad, to have a look at even just to open the back. He successfully opened(of which I don't know how), but he did. As I thought Mom would have seen that I don't have my bike, when she was dropping the newspaper to her next door neighbors, but anyways, when they said something about having a light, I had to tell em, that my bike is in for "repair" more like STOLEN, hahahaah. So as I didn't have it, I was gonna walk home, but they insisted that I take ride home. So me Da left me home. With the window being frozen, he had to get warm water to get rid of it. While he was doing so, I posted my Exercise(walking) apps to my profiles. RunKeeper, MapMyWalk, and MyTracks.

Irish drag queen demands apology from TV network

Irish drag queen demands apology from TV network

Diary 10th February 2014

Today was my weekly Therapy session. Twas quite interesting. As I was walking home, my therapist put through me mind, "Every person has a story to tell in their environment. "I then began to think all the way home, whether I shud just leave my folks out of my lifestyle. I told my Dr., that Other gay ppl who experience homophobia literally get rid of em, by mutual consent or just simply one dumping the other. However with Mom, thou, she still wants contact with me. If I were to have the attitude of just not saying anything gay related(which would be ideal and ease tensions), I'd have to go back in the closet. So am at a loss. I spoke highly of Ailish my next door neighbors(well technically my folks), afterall she brought me in my hour of need. I put it to the therapist, Does she feel anything knowing I'm talking about her in the derogatory sense. Like she has to. Otherwise I just don't know.

AFter my appointment, I headed to Clontarf Garda Station to report my bike being stolen last Friday. I was advised to report to the local Garda Station of where the bike was stolen(on Capel St), which the nearest one is BrideWEll Garda Station.

Diary 9th February 2014

WEll today's plan was very simple to go to the Sing-ALong of Frozen in Cineworld. I was most excited to see the film. Just think about it, me dream reality of seeing my fav tune in the movie singing to my hearts content. It was fantastic. I might go see it again on Valentines Day, ill see how things pan out. I plan on seeing my crush: Jack Ryan and Frankie. Again Ill play how it goes.

After the film, I decided to head to Tescos PArnell to get meself a PUre butter(Vegan Butter). Then I decided to ask if they had any vegan cheese(Cheezy e.g). Due to their lack of knowledgement in this area, the shop assistant passed me to the management, in turn told me about Lacto-Free. I told him it ain't diary-free, cause the cow's in there. Its most furiariting when they make u dumb. I told him it ain't. So he said he didn't.

Yesterday, I was notified that Tescos in Jervis was much bigger(to my surprise). So this time, I headed there, to see if they had any dairy - free cheese(Cheesy). Couldnt find any. So I headed back home.

My sis then texted me to call up to her earlier. Twas most intriguing and a great laughter seeing my sis. I was due to see my sis on Thurs, We chatted about all sorts of things. From Homophobia, to mental illness etc.,
I'm still shocked that me paps, was homophobic all along. What upsets me thou is that they's gonna vote No in the upcoming Same Sex Referendum in 2015. Then I only realised that my paps, ma and possibly me Auntie(Nun), were in on the whole thing with regards the homophobia. How do they even sleep at night. Like come on like.

Diary 8th February 2014

Before I get started, I would like to apologise for the links I accidently left out for the movies. I only realised it today when I got up.

Well today was so far a busy one, and with the rain i'd say it'll remain to quiet for the rest of the night. I went along to a meetup for Vegetarians. I went along to Delhi O' Delhi. I only recognised one person(namely the organiser). I slowly got to meet new people. As I was keen on searching for the Vegan BUtter, after the meetup I popped along to various places.

I first travelled to Lidl's hoping to find vegan butter. But they didn't know what I was talking about. So I keep quoting it ain't a brand name. But a diet thing. So I kept looking at the ingredients to see would anything drop outta the ordinary.

I then went along to Aldis, to see would they have vegan butter. Again they didn't know what I was talking about.

So onwards onto Outhouse, where as I said in my status on FB, I relaxed while having a cuppa tea, and reading the GCN magazine. Twas nice and peaceful. As I said to my mate Brendan S, yesterday It all depends on my mood, I may wanna chat and fun one day other days I just wanna relax talk to no one, and maybe read, or browse my phone etc.,

So then I decided to head into Tescos to see if they had any vegan butter, as luck would happen, they did, But for an extra .20c(1.89). I only had 1.70. Twas a shame. As I badly need butter I decided to head back to Lidls to get a cheapo butter. Twasnt Vegan, but hey I needed butter badly. My bread is going off.

I then headed home. So am just relaxing. Am in the for the night. So I shall be looking at Knots Landing for the night.

Meetup
http://www.meetup.com/

Meetup in Question
http://www.meetup.com/vegetarian-485/

Outhouse
http://outhouse.ie/

The Outmost aka GCN
http://theoutmost.com/

Microsoft hires new CEO: Satya Nadella.

Bernard Marr: Has Microsoft Picked The Wrong CEO? And Should Bill Gates Have Stepped Down? - http://pulse.me/s/MQ9yM

RoboCop

The film was met by very positive reviews. I personally enjoyed the film, immensely. The plot from what I could understand, was very simple that Alex is a cop on Detroits streets. There was an attempted murder done on him, his injuries was so severe. He only had the head and lungs and one hand left fromt he explosion. So to save what was left from him, they made a manRobot or "Tinman".  It was most impressive. Only two faults I found with the film. There was no need in my opinion for the TV presenter style of the movie. Samuel L. Jackson don't get me wrong did a fantastic job, however with that in mind I didn't' see the logic in it. And secondly fault, I personally am not into seeing body parts namely the lungs and brain. LIke when they were removing a machine part that was implanted in the brain, I personally wouldnt want to see it. If you want to see body parts, go and look at medical programs such as Grey's Anatomy or Casulty etc., I totally enjoyed the film no doubt. The action in it. Aww it brought back great memories. from the childhood. It brought great expectations and lives to its name. There was a twist at the end to the plot. I will let my friends and anyone who reads this blog post to figure it out for themselves. 

RoboCop (2014) http://goo.gl/HF5WBE

Diary 7th February 2014

I was due to wake up and get up for around half 5pm. However I actually got up at 20 to 7. I was furious and very baffled as to what the cause was. While my bladder was very full, I didn't want to get up. But while I was trying figure out, why my phone said it was 10 past 9 in the morning, however when I initially looked out, it was lovely and bright sunny beaming in. Yet when I was getting up I was left so confused. It was actually dark and horrible out. I was saying this is so strange. At 10 past 9 in the morning to be so dark. It actually so happens that my phone had crashed and the alarm never went off. I was mad at meself more so the phone. As I had planned to see two movies. Namely I,Frankenstein. and Jack Ryan: The Shadow Recruit afterwards. However as I got up eventually after much confusion, I then began to find out what to do, there and then. I was very dazed, as to what to do. In the end I said I'd just see one film. I had attempted to contact my friend BRendan S and my other friend Ronan to see Frankie. However as I couldn't get contact with Ronan, I said I'd leave Frankie and see the most anticipated film in history, my childhood film RoboCop . It was spectacular. More will be provided in a separate blog post.

I set out to go to Outhouse as any other time. Got myself a cuppa tea. Met my friend Brendan S. I was so happy(Happiest i have been in a very long time), this was so seen in my friend Brendan. However nothing was prepared with what I was about to see. After the OUthouse(kicked out us out - hahaha, closing up), I asked a group of lads who were in the OUthouse, had they seen my bike, which I normally park it there. So I went back in side to the receptionist area, to see if there was a way I could see the CCTV, he explained that I will have to contact the Cops(An Garda Siochana) and that they cannot rewind the tape. So that I will be doing on Monday. Bottom line, my bike has been stolen. No surprise. However that didn't dampen my spirits, as it was expected, I can't even remember what's the longest time I've had a bike for without it being stolen. With that in mind, as long as their breath in my body, I will not be telling my folks esp me pops, about this. Cause there will b nothing but BITCHING about, Oh I spent a hella money on the bike etc., I will get one on EBAy from my savings and hopefully get it prepared there and then. That said, thou even if it comes inassembled, I'll get my local bike shop to assemble it if needs be.

Then I proceeded to go to see my childhood movie Robocop. Review in spepearte post. I then proceeded to walk home. I kept saying to myself, I am racing against Battery time, NOT time. As I had my fitness tracks tracking my progress, my battery was at a critical level.

As you can see, twas an eventful day. hahaha

Diary 6th February 2014

I woke up to TWO bangings not one but TWO. Twas mighty freaky.It was my ma. I mean like what's her problem. She shud know that I don't answer the door when am asleep. SO I fell back asleep, not that I couldn't sleep but attempted to. But again the banging was started again a few hours(maybe) not sure but twas mighty frightening. As my folks gave me the WRONG answer to my simple but powerful questions, I just don't see the point in showing my love to them anymore. So my life is with me:

• Sis
• Inflatables
• FB Friends. I was just thinking to meself if FB hadn't existed 10 years ago(I wouldnt know where I'd be at). I have met wonderful people. )
• and of course not forgetting NYC. Here I come.

I shall only call up to em if they need chores(being gardening, or whatever) done or anything. Even my next door neighbors(namely my parents now - as I don't live there anymore) they found it strange, when I was going up to them constantly or when Mom was visiting me all da time.

I had gotten up in time to a few missed calls from me sis, but to be told that as she had suffered a seizure, that I wouldn't be able to handle it, she had  her friend to call over to help her. I appreciated her for that. Cause the last time she had one, I didn't take it too well. But that said I 'm more than delighted that she has found herself a new friend. Long may it last.

So instead of going to Crina's, it was the turn of me tank tops to sort out. As I was tidying up, I came across my bank card that I wanted all along. But its too late now, as there's a new one on the way in the post. THe one I found has now been disabled.

Diary 5th February 2014

My dream was quite interesting. I had dreamt about a guy whom I know very well from Facebook. Breandan O' F had told me about him previously last week. The dream consisted of very simply a breakup. Which was kinda sad, but very interesting. hahaah.

Well today was a quiet day. My plan initially was to go to a protest being held by USI Ireland to protest against Russia's anti-Gay Laws in particular the Shochie Winter 2014 Olympic Games. That was due to start at 11am at the Russian Embassy. As I went to sleep around 7isham, I failed to get up. Then again, I shud have been able to, like I have slept for 3 hrs sometimes, and done a full days work(so to speak). Was exhausted. I later on got up around half 5 as I was to meet my friend Todd from the US to see Jack Ryan: The Shadow Recruit. Although living in ireland's several years. I was to meet Todd for 9 in his place. then we walk to the cinema which is only a stone's through from his place.

While I was in the shower, my alarm went off. I was gonna wait til I was finished and ready. However as I heard doors opening, I said to myself, I better turn it off, in case someone thinks my place is being broken into. So I turned it off, then I had to dry myself off and get dressed. I started to fold up my shorts(part of my big cleanup). Then got my brekkie.

Then I proceeded to head out to meet my mate. Before I headed out, I got a call from my other mate Brendan O'F. So we all met and got our food and tickets. I found that the Large Nacho meal I normally get in Cineworld, is far better value in Odeon than in Cineworld. Like think of this. For 9 in Cineworld, you get a large Drink, large Nachos(2 dips); for an extra .45c in Odeon you get large Drink, large Nachos(3 Dips; So clearly Odeon wins out in Food in patricular the Cheese dip was hot and the Nachos so very tasting. mmmmm. So after a little debate with the staff and the wonderful service I receieved too, onwards we all went to see my too hotties. During the film, I asked Todd, what he thoguht of Jack Ryan(Pine), and my other hottie Aleksandr(Character). TOdd's response was very funny but yet true. He loved when the character was topless with just jeans. He's scorching hot. However, it was funny when he said the face was not attracting enough. hahaha.

USI Link:
http://usi.ie/campaigns/students-demo-for-lgbtq-rights-russian-embassy/

Odeon
http://www.odeoncinemas.ie/

Cineworld
http://www.cineworld.ie/

Microsoft have a new CEO!!!!!

Bernard Marr: Has Microsoft Picked The Wrong CEO? And Should Bill Gates Have Stepped Down? - http://pulse.me/s/MQ9yM

Diary 4th February 2014

Well what a day its been today. Qutie an interesting day. I woke up around half 11(after 16hrs in hibernation sleep). It was one of the best sleeps I've ever had for the last few months. I showered. Then had a brekkie. I decided to look at yesterdays News Bulletins, As I was asleep for half the day yesterday.

I then headed off to get my State Benefirst. I usually do a few things in the Post Office(Where i Collect my benefirst). I put money into my savings account, get TV Licence Stamps, and transfer majority of the benefits to my bank account for the bills. HOwever as my card wasn't working they would let me.

So I had to go across the road to the bank to try and find out what's going on. First I played dumb, and just asked the clerk to lodge money in, cause I need it for the bills. Then the clerk told me that the card had been disabled as I previously had reported it lost. However the card I was using was actually the one that I had previously found. THe new card that came in recent months, I had lost. Bottom line is, the clerk told me to order a new card which I did via a telephone system. So now the card that I have now, will have to be destroyed.

So onwards up to collect my bike to head off to the folks to leave change for them in an envelope. Mom last week had gotten me a takeaway this day last week. I popped the envelope into the post box.

I headed up to my bike shop I bought the bike in, as my lock was giving me trouble in terms of locking and unlocking. I had told em, I had poured  buckets of oil in it, and still nothing. It was found eventually, that it was from lack of oil from the beginning.

So then headed up to see me sis. I had a letter to hand to her. As it stated(from what I can see), it said something about an invite. So I said I'd drop it up to her just in case it might be too late to drop it to her when I see her on THursday. Twas enjoyable as per normal. She had a surprise visit from her Aunt(The holy one). The words that come outta dat woman is just unreal. Like telling her that you don't have depression or something like that, but one thing that went right through me: "You're psychotic". LIke seriously do you actually say that to a person. I told my Ma, and my Aunt, that words is poisonous". WE both headed to her local chemist and grocery. Then I proceeded to head home in the cold, rain.

I started to sort out the clothes in my appt. To show a bit of shape in it.

Diary 3rd February 2014

Well what an interesting day it has been so far. Thats only 1500hrs like.

I stayed up or as I said I pulled an all nighter like every Monday night for fear I'll b late for the App for my sphyscopheratist. WE chatted like as normal. He was trying convince me to say that having just a yes or no is a very UNHEALTHY item. And another item he brought up was if me pops was against my sexuality that my depression wouldnt go away until I move to the States. Simply put, I stated the following to him: "If my Dad doesn't go towards me: sexuality wise; my depression won't go away for good until I move to the States. " He found this dis heartwarming. My attitude towards him was of complex and confuse method today. I was trying to say: if anyone is agaisnt my sexuailtiy why hang out wit da person. That said, I did say that my parents are like a "magnet", in that if I attempt to block em, they come banging on da door, ie they DON'T take NO for answer. I attempted to tell him this. I even gave him an example of the magnetism. Whereby I had blocked my Aunty, my parents for a few months. NEver seen them in that time frame. But still they wanted to see me. They'd bang at the door, windows, ring me several times, voicemails etc., Not giving  a damn about my mental health. It is of my illusion that they need to be educated BADLY. I mean seriously. LIke my mother told me sis that she deserved to be raped, like I don't care whether she had drugs or alcohol or whatever. EVen if she was nude(which obv wasn't da case); NO ONE DESERVES TO BE RAPED. Yet me ma had da bigotry to say me sis deserved to be raped. like WTF. Anyways I'm getting off topic, so back to the psychotherapist; just to shut him up, I had to agree. Cause hes not gonna let go, maybe next week. U never know. Thank god I have me scarfs. AWWWWWW SCARFIES. THey's my life. It is my perception that ill keep a somewhat relationship wit da folks.
But my basic fundamental idea is very simple: Anyone(Literally meaning ANYONE), who is against Marriage Equality, or gay rights or gays or any member of the LGBT or whatever AIN'T NO FRIEND of mine or whatever u wanna call. NO CONTACT WILL BE MAINTAINED. I may be a "black or white" person. But thats' just the way life is. Others can have  a "Grey" area in their decision makings. For me as I'm a simple guy like I don't even know how to have sex with a guy, like how pathetic is that. I was advised by a gud friend of mine here in Dublin, to just simply go with the flow, like WTH is that spoz to mean. All I do is just copy a guy. So if a guy grabs my ass I do likewise or kisses me or whatever, I do exactly the same thing.

So then after the appt(like I said INTERESTING), I was suppose to meet my sister(she was attending her apt), for a cuppa tea before I go to sleep. However I got a call from my Mom, to call up to them(well because of the weather, someone would collect me after my appt. All I said after the phonecall was one word. "Fuck". I really wanted a cuppa wit me sis, however that wasnt to be. As it happened, she was required to stay an extra hour. So with me scared outta me wits, I headed out to me Dad's car(PS The phonecall came in BEFORE the apt). As I have been having trouble with my bike lock, I decided to walk to my apt as i was gonna be late than normal. I walked up in the wind n da rain to both the apt and after to my Dad's car, as he had just arrived when I was walking out of the building. So he brought me up to his place. Mom explained Dad wanted a few jobs to be helped with. After a cuppa tea and toast we got down to business. We first snagged the potatoes(taking routs off the potatoes and cleaning em). WHile doing this, he was trying to get my opinion on what had happened yesterday. Namely the protest. He expressed his views, that Rory O'Neill Neill the person at the center of the whole controversy, shouldn't have named names. So armed with this information, all that was going through my head, to ask him what were his thoughts on my sexualltiy  as previosuly asked. I personally agree with Rory O' Neill's comments in that to NAME and SHAME those who have done us wrong. So with that I just couldn't wait to get outta there. So my final question to all HOMOPHOBES who done me wrong will be: If they'll b voting yes r no in the Referendum of 2015(However as its a private thing, I mightend be so lucky - but nevertheless I'll try.

So with that I came home to finish off a few things on the computer and headed to sleep til tomorrow morning.

Liz McCartney - As I Am (The Big Gay Musical).avi

TO ALL MY HOMOPHOBES AND ALL OF YEE OUT THERE: Stop telling lies. And look at this



"It was Written by MAN"

"It was interpreted by MAN"

"It was abused by Man"

"I never told People to hurt and Kill"

AND MOST IMPORTANT

"I told everyone to LOVE"

Diary 2nd February 2014

I had stayed on in bed, yesterday instead of getting up around 9. I was so upset what was happening to me sis. I had very weird dreams(Of which I cannot remember)

I went along to a protest in which spells out that we LGBT people will not be silenced. Our State Broadcast silenced one of the LGBT ppl: MIss Panti(Firstly my Inspiration; and secondly she does her drag shows in Panti Bar). Saturday Night Show host interviewed Rory O' Neill(Panti out of drag). He named a few homophobes etc., This obv upset a few people. Personally I agree with him. SInce then Ireland has gone major in this topic "Homophobia". At the protest The Guest speakers were as follows

Caroline Early (LGBT Noise)
.....
Senator David Norris
David Carroll BeLong TO CEO
Max Krzyzanowski(Action for Russia)

In the words of Senator David Norris. "We were silence for 2000 years", We gonna kick ppl up da arse.

Ma came down to me to want me to come out with her. I obv refused. So she questioned me relating to my sis' behaviour. I explained that words are poisonous. She is udner the illusion of ""Simply move on". I went on to say how can anyone, move on from the Crhsitmas Day debacle like the Christmas Day debacle as I like to call it. I should rename it to Christmas Day Massacre. I think that actually occured in US.

LGBT Noise: http://lgbtnoise.ie/
ACtion for Russia Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/ActionForRussia/
BeLongTo: http://www.belongto.org/

Diary 1st February 2014

As I was about to head to bed (due to my sleep problems its varies), I was heading to bed for around 10am due to get up around 5pm or so I got a call more so a HELP plea. I'm just purely fed up with trying to fix ppl's problems. The sooner I getta outta here the better. I believe NYC is waiting for me. They just don't know it. I can feel it. Now don't get me wrong, I love helping the one person I love and adore. I don't mind helping those who SERIOUSLY need helping. My sis in this case drastically needed my help. She contacted me on FB to call up to her in the Day Hospital cause Mom was literally bullying her. Like saying stuff of all sorts. Me sis has done alot for the family and yet no acknowledgement etc., The only people who are keeping me alive are my gay friends on FB and my mates in the OUthouse. I feel at home and myself there. So I thank you +Brendan Eoin O'Farrell and +Brendan Searson for being there. I wanna thank also my mates on Facebook. Only for you I'd be long gone. My Inflatables and my sleeve unfortunately don't do it for me in terms of keeping me sane. Eg Before I met my mate O'Farrell for the film I, Frankenstein I was seriously depressed more so suicidal kinda thing. When I met up with him, I was myself. Didn't give a care in the world who was listening etc., ie I was MYSELF. For my sis to say the only way she'll get peace is "when they's 6ft under". That's how bad they've treated her. Its just unreal. Never thought I'd hear such thing. But technically its the trought. I Mean like why adopt or should I say FOster kids from ROmania if all ur gonna do abuse da hella outta of us. Jsut cause of our sexualirty or mental disorders or whatever. They are living in in da 70's and not making any effort to live in the 14s. Just a total disgrace.

ON a lighter but still related, boy can I not wait for the protest march tomorrow 2nd Feb. ILl be with my own kind or with str8 ppl who support us ie the Allies.

I headed to bed.