It was my intention of waking up at around half 7 yesterday. I just didn't have the energy. So I set the alarm(which now works - hahah) to get up for half 9 yesterday. Fortunately failed again to wake up. So with this in mind, I just stayed on, and said I'd wake up for 12.15 the next day(being today). So with all this time in bed, I had time to think of various issues or as I'd to say to people "Lots of things on my mind".
So one of the items on my mind would be of whether r whether r not to get back with da relatives r not. If so I would send letter/email any way of apologies. If they do accept and Ailish asks me of I'm going out with anyone which she has asked in da past. I would say dis time yes.
Then my next item on my mind: would be the following 4 items
New York
Brendan Eoin O' Farrell
Mark Patrick Henry
Casual
Now I'm a bit lost as to what to do about this. If I go out wit O' Farrell friendship is on the line of which I can't bare that to happen then the money is a big problem of his. However that said his company is a not to be wit. Its with great regret ever since Brendan S, came onto me a few times in the past, that my friend Ronan M Whelan was wright about one thing: Never go out with a friend. As even if you do stay friends, you will become uneasy with him. It is sadly that this is the case with Brendan S. Like I can't stand his phonecalls of ringing me. Cause we spend over an hour chatting as if we were boyfriends, or even a half hour for that matter. As a mate in my opinion I would much rather prefer just strictly text or Facebook Messenger. If of course we are making plans for a meetup or whatever then by all means, I don't mind one bit. But as Brendan O' F puts it, a "social" call I dislike completely.
N besides there's a danger that if I do go out with anyone here that my homophobia days may reoccur. Then again they have got used to the idea of me being gay. So as to date I'm still at a loss. Now that my mate in Cali Sean W(aka Brandon), has unfortunately broken up with his bf, that my feelings for him has resumed. So you can add him to the list. Does this make me a slut of wanting all three. I don't know. I know sluts in terms of sex there's such thing. But in terms of relationships I ain't sure. But one thing I don't stand for is cheating on both parties part. I never cheat on a guy, I never have, I never will.
So after all the thinking, and attempting to sleep from 5am this morning onwards, I was twisting and turning on a consistent basis til i got up. I was due to wake up for half 12(midday - obv duh). I had the above on me mind. But as well as that, I had several dreams all in the one go. Might I add, this was all on a loop ie on a repetitive circle. So instead of half 12, cause of my energy had dooped, I got up eventually at 10 to 5. Cause the post office was closing at half 5.
So I then got up and headed to the post office to get my weekly dosh. Now it was my intention to go home and shower and then do 1 or 2 music videos and obviously Morning Edition. However plans changed as my sis wanted me asap. Not sure why to be honest. But eitherway I headed to her place, slightly earlier than planned. So I had to head home, as she was feeling unwell. Mom came by, and dropped me home to my place but eventually twisted my arm to go to her place. On the way, Mom treated me to a takeaway in DiLucios. I tried out their new menu option Chips Kebabs. I must say it was quite nice and tasty. I haven't seen Dad since the time I wanted to go to Aldis and Lidls to get a few items. This was like almost a month ago. So then I popped up to him and we had a chat. Afterwards I headed on home. Mom and Dad dropped me home.
So I so far I've been watching the News, watching my latest of Fair City and watching Donal Skehan's HomeCooked series. Boy he's a babe. heeheh.
No comments:
Post a Comment