Diary 22nd June 2015

Today is my weekly cleanup of the Apt. ahahah. I continued with the bathroom, as well as putting up with the shit. Nothing I can do. As I said yesterday, Gonna try and see if I can get the flat next door to me to ring Franky, the landlord. So then I continued to tidy up my shoes, you'd swear I was a lady, haahhah with the amt of shoes, runners etc., I have. ahahaha. At the same time beeing looking Knots Landing. So far 21hrs. I have. ahahah

I went to see what all the hollabaluu was. So to make an excuse I brought my rubbish bags out with me. I was gonna go round the back instead of going sideways, cause of the shit. So I went up my steps then when I turned round there was a large truck doing dredging or something. Says I to meself, so American the front of the truck at aleast. haahaha. The workers were so kind, that they had to stop the operation of dredging and he pulled the truck back slightly. Well the surprise and shock I was in. Someone had locked the gate completely. I was literally gobsmacked. I have since learned actually that the landlord had locked the gate so that no one from the outside could get access to the bins. I went out with my rubbish bin to ensure that the company outside dredging didn't lock the gate. But it was the landlord. My fears were confirmed by a tenant.

Throughout the night, I was uploading pics of Gay Love, non porno onto my sex Facebook, yet I was shown the block of 7days of uploading photos for uploading an inappropriate pic which is totally false. So then I only learned then its a computer that is actually doing all this blocking business etc., I'm not even able to Appeal my block. And now I also learned its the same for my gstanescu84 FB account too. Following is the excerpt from my Status Update.

"ATTENTION all LGBT people, sexual or not, Facebook has enabled an option that BULLY you into thinking you have uploaded Pornography, when all I have uploaded was Gay Love two men kissing embracing etc., NOTHING sexual at all.

Take this. I uploaded 164 FLOWERS, NOT A BOTHER,
I uploaded 141 Gay Love, I have been blocked for 7 Days on THIS ACCOUNT and my sex account from uploading photos. I just bypass it, but they keep adding an extra 7 days etc., etc.,

So we now have a homophobic computer at Facebook Headquarters in the US, that deals with LGBT people. Somebody has written code in Facebook Headquarters to BLOCK all LGBT PHOTOS of kissing or whatever"

NEWS

The last body of the repatriation process, has arrived home in Dublin. Olivia Burke's body touched down in Dublin Airport shortly after 12am this morning.

A suicide bomber has gone off in Kabul, Afghanistan. This was outside a Parliament Building. The Afghan Parliament were electing a new Defence Minister.

A sex shop due to open in Drumcondra (my town I was reared in, hahaha) has reversed his decision to open. However after several petitions including members of the public AND politicians Cllr Noel Rock(FG)The reason for such a petition in the first place is because there is a Primary School(Elementary School) across the road. His argument is that there are porn available to kids at a young age on their cell phones.

Diary 30th March 2015

A guy on my sex Facebook page, added me, then immidelty messaged me, oh you ur gay, freak. Something like that. So instead of giving him my mouth, I instead decided to annoy him on great advice by Barry from the Outhouse, to turn it into a compliment. haahah. Fabulous advice. haahah. I then immediately blocked him, just in case he starts to report my pics etc.,

Shortly before I went to bed, I recorded a video of myself singign Let It Go. I was quite nervous alrite. hahaha

Diary 10th January 2015

Quiet evening. Went to movies with Andrea to see exodus(Review here). Very busy it was. Never seen the likes. Told Andrea of the abuse I received yesterday.

Diary 9th January 2015

Dad and I continued. Packaged completely. Dad got a call from Gerry his Bro. He wanted a lend of a jack saw. I met Siobhan my cuz's bf. I hadn't seen Gerry since Reggies funeral. We then went to Beaumont House(Review here). I took down the lights outside. Packed them up. I then headed to outhouse. First to Lidl as I left my hat behind. Manners of a pig. Racism. Cineworld for Taken 3. Homophobic.

Following is the Facebook Status I posted in relation to the manners of a pig in Lidls in Parnell, Racist remark in the Outhouse and sadly the homophobic treatment, both my friend and I recieved.

I regret to inform you all that yesterday was not the best. Although I helped my folks with decorations, that was grand. By all means.

I popped along to Lidl, on Moore St., to see if my Hat was handed in. I went to a security guard who btw was actually looking at his cell phone, I asked if my hat was handed in, immediately he said no, Not even a budge to see if it were handed in. So after I paid for my kettle, I in a fit of rage, went to a Staff member, who gladly helped and asked around. I wanna thank him. But the security in LIdls' Moore St., clearly NEED retraining.

I then went to the Outhouse for my nightly entertainment. At one stage in the Men's Night, I was racially attacked indirectly. By this I mean, the lads were referring to some guy in the French Attacks or something, and the person(of whom shall remain nameless) said he "should go to the Romanian Orphange". I attempted to intervene by telling "errr hello, I was there", however he failed to listen. My friend who was with me throughout the night, told me that he has been told in the past that I am from Romania, and that he told me that he is actually racist. Despite the person knowing this, he made the remark. I was deeply gutted that I was lost for words. I shall be taking this matter with the Management of Outhouse and the Gardaí. RACISM MUST STOP. It won't stop if I sit back and do nothing.

My mate also came with me to the Cineworld Dublin to see Taken 3. I was most not prepared for what was to happen next. We were BOTH treated to Homophobic abuse throughout the film. It was quite scarey. My mate got the bate thou. We were treated to heckling. Although security was called a few times, that did not stop them. We were both called faggots and my mate was called OTHER names too. I was literally sick to the stomach with the treatment. To the point I actually wanted to vomit in my nachos which I had finished btw. The security guard came with us for protection. We were afraid that they were gonna follow us. So we joined up with two females(whom we would like to thank PROFUSELY), for company. We then left them when we found that the lads disappeared. This continued throughout the night. We both wanted the Cops involved. We were told they were on the way. However we later learned, THAT was not the case. Although Cineworld Cinemas is a VERY LGBT Friendly cinemas, I know many staff who are LGBT Friendly at the very least, some are gay even BOTH male and Female, I was MOST distraught to learn that the Gardai had NOT been called. Again I shall be taking the matter up with the Gardaí. HOMOPHOBIA MUST STOP. People in Republic of Ireland say Homophobia and living as a gay man is grand these days, it's NOT. If you people knew what actually happened. Like we were thrown at. Recorded and more than likely will be published on Facebook. If any of my Irish mates(of those that are left) or indeed international, comes across a video or photo or whatever of BOTH My mate and I, PLS REPORT to Facebook for Homophobic. On the way when I was leaving my friend to his Luas stop, the friend noticed that I was being homophobically looked at. I told him what my mother says to me all the time. HATERS hate SILENCE. I ignore all comments and looks etc.,

Diary 30th November 2014

Well after quite a nice sleep, I got up slightly later than scheduled. I was initially to do a bit of recording on my TV. However it wasn't to be. So I headed off to my sis. We chatted mainly. I told her of my mate's homophobic behavior. The sad thing is , he prob don't know what he's saying, THEN again he may do. Who knows. So that got me ripping my jumper to shreds, and then there's the added version of the Relatives not wanting me in there lives????, I'm referring to my friend Seamus' comment the other day I met him for Interstellar(Review here).

Diary 29th September 2014

I had forgotten to mention that when I came home yesterday, I went to charge up my cell phone and suddenly I couldn't find my charger. As my phone came from the States as in the packaging at the very least, I couldn't find the two prongs. To date, I still can't.

So then I got up eventually. I got ready for the PDC Course. I then headed onto the Outhouse or the course. WE discussed two main topics Relationships and Boundaries.  When they were discussing the Relationships, all I could think of were the relatives who never accepted me. When I arrived, there were only 6 ppl including myself. I arrived late. Nothing knew. hahhaah


The topic was What makes a GOOD relationship

Friendships
Family
Understanding
Trust
Love
Loyalty
Boundary
Respect
Yourself
Aged Realistic
One of the class colleagues' point was of interest, we all listened with interest, in that his point was Age. That guys dress and act NOT their age. ie a 40 yr old guy acting and dressing like a 20 yr etc., He then mentioned that its actually a medical condition known as Biomorphism.

The definition of a Relationship is as follows: "Emotional connection or an involvement"

Then they drew a diagram.

Embryo/womb - Micro
Then you meet the family - Mezzo
Education/Community etc., - Exo
Bad World/Work/Internet/ etc., - Macro

Fear of a Relationship
Fear of begin hurt

WE all take advice etc., You are you. True to yourself. You're the only person who knows you.

If someone asks how are you or whatever, or how are you feeling. IT all depends on context etc., So if eg. if you mad busy, you would have to turn him down until your free, or if you know the person in question, you would have a more calmer attitude towards him.

Bottomline Everyone's different, acknowledge it. Unconditional love essential in conflict.

What are the good things in a relationship.

Mutual Respect
Good balance
Compromise
Love
Communication
Clear/Good Communication
Honest
 Confusing thoughts

Then it came to break time, on my way in I was very not as such suicidal but more so wanting to do a slice n dice on myself. Considering will be covering ourselves now for the Winter. hahaha. So wise words during the break was said to me. In the form of that I'm only punishing myself. Wise words was actually coming from Bernard himself. Here I was trottling along the street, crying me heart out, well not distressing, but any idiot on the street, would know what's up. So after such wise words, I headed in with a positive tude as in I saw Declan and David and the Brazilian guy, whom I was a bit surprised. He wasn't one bit shy but was very quick to say to us, that he doesn't introduce himself with his name. Ah well, to each is their own.

Then it was time for the Boundary part of the lesson. Which was short, considering we had less time after the break. heeeh.

So then shortly before the class finished, we were treated to Rau Puaul's(A US famous Drag Queen) track. His infamous quote being: "If you don't love yourself, how the hell can you expect to be loved". Twas most inspirational.

Diary 23rd September 2014

PS This is an NSFW Post, ie NOT Sexual but of Self Harm content.

The day started off with a horrible dream. Which is as follows: Kathleen Doherty(Mulligan), whom I saw after several years last month, was hitting my head as in a HARD patting on the head. She later apologised but NOT profusely. Martin was hitting JP(Their son). I went onto Twitter(which is quite unusual as first, it ain't my usual ranting place and 2, the characters limit), to rant out. I was heart breaking, and crying as the same time. Even crying as I was writing tweet.

When I woke up eventually around 4ish for the dole, My sheets were wet, literally. Now how this particular dream came about more than likely was that my Dad's relatives were visiting them. I was invited up as was my sis. Now Jim(Dad's relative) knows I'm gay, I ain't sure about Jane(his wife), but this triggered the above dream. But as I explained to my sis later on today, I can't understand why I would wanna care whether Jane knows my sexuality or not. I wasn't sure of her attitude towards gay ppl or whatever. By right I shouldn't care.

So then I eventually got up from such a horrid nightmare, and set about getting my dole. I then headed into the bank to lodge the cash in. Then I went to tescos, to get milk for my sis' place. I provide my own milk. She drinks dairy. Whereas I don't. I got a few grub. I FINALLY got the blades, the yoke that are disposable. I kept forgetting to buy em.

I then showered, after a long spell of not having such. I did my bits and bobs - hahaha. I was using my new blades that are disposable. I nicked meself on my hand twice. Now while it WASN'T intentional, I have to admit, that I felt so good afterwards. While it was extremely painful, I was showering the blood off, and any blood that was left(which wasn't much), I just licked it off like Dracula(booohhahaahahah). Again it was extremely painful considering a layer of skin came off in two places on one hand.

On the way to Tescos, I then had seen Hate Crime from The Guest(Review here) and realsied what is the actual difference between Hate Crime AND Discrimination. From what I gather and understand, Hate Crime is relating to psychical and verbal, whereas Discrimination is in relation to the law and more so used in a company. Correct me if I'm wrong.

So then after the showering, I headed on off to my sis. I told her of the above ie the dream etc., When I was calling it out, I had on my phone, it read as follows: "I showered the boys off". Well the laugh I got off it. hahaah. It was something else alrite. I tell ya that bit. As she says, It certainly made me laugh. Something  I needed. heeheh. Then I suddenly realsied that by me skipping the visit of Jim and Jane, that sparked my depression a few years ago. I had moved in a few months ago in 2011. Then a few months(Oct 2011), I got into a deep state of depression over the homophobic abuse. And now it happened again today. What does that say. Could it be another depression coming along. Considering I did have thoughts of self harm alrite. I just had a few things on my mind. Partially financially. Because I didn't get up in time last Friday for Credit Union Gear Ireland sales event on Saturday then there was Lidls stuff I was to get on Monday(yesterday).



While cooking Pasta, I was wondering why it was taking an age to heat up let alone boil it. I just checked and actually had it at half the temperature for boiling. hahah.

Diary 8th September 2014

Well what a night it has been. I first got up at around 6ish after 2 half hour sleep. It was my first day at a course I had applied for a few weeks ago. Its called the Personal Development Course being held at the Outhouse. It is funded by the Dublin's Gay Switchboard and the Gay Men Health Service(The crowd that diagnosed me with Hepatitis B)

So I set about heading off on my first night course. I wasn't one bit nervous on the way. In fact, I was looking for the house that Yurean(The guy I met at the DublinFreeWHeelers event).  I got talking to Yurean yesterday via WhatsApp. Now I ain't sure whether he knows am gay or whatever. But the fact that I had a profile pic of an undies pic? yeahhhhh. So he just gave me his house number. Which I don't quite understand. So Then I had actually passed it.

So anyways I arrived at Outhouse. I got my cuppa tea, as my breath was horrible. By cuppa tea, I actually mean Peppermint Green tea. And later on Raspberry Tea. Bernard then checked me into the list. I headed on up to the Red Room. There were about 13 or so others there. Dave the guy behind the counter was there too. So at least a familiar face. I was getting increasingly nervous, my heart pumping.

So then the two men Tony and .... were the two presenters. We the students(lightly put) were lsitening. Its a course that involves US. Our first exercise was to introduce ourselves and to tell them What would we like to get out of the course and how we heard about it. My example was all garbled. I literally said it in such a state that I was nonsensical. So what I told them and the group of course, was that Maureen(My aunt - the Nun one), had popped into the Outhouse when I was coming out at the time and had asked them that my nephew is having a hard time coming out, if they could recommend anything. They recommended this particular course. I misinterpreted as that they wanted me to go into Psychiatric care for being gay.
Our next item was a little game. Whereby we got into a circle, and CLOSING our eyes, that we just shout out numbers WITHOUT repeating. And if there was a repetition that we would move back out of the circle. now I GRAVE and GREAT difficulty in closing my eyes. I've never experienced such. Then again, when ever I'm told to close my eyes, I've always NOT been able to keep em closed. They some how always kept opening. But tonight, I was under severe stress and strain, in trying to keep em closed. Guys I never said or told anyone, that this course would be easy, in particularly my homophobia, MAY be rehased. I ain't sure. I've only done 1 class out of 6.
I loved the idea of the or the ananlgy of the "Fridge" conecpt. THey had a drawing  board and "Fridge" papter. Whereby any ideas put on the the "Fridge" paper, that it would be revisisited the next class or wahtever.
Our next item was what was the group execteatin of the course.

• Sharing Experience
• Achieveing stronger of understanding of self interation with other men in group
• Feel happier amongst urself
• I contributed to this particaurlar item, whereby I said that if for whatever reason that I would be TRIGGERED, cuase I was on the verge of it. Consdiernign I had enoguh crap from my friends behavior last week etc., I didn't need anymore. E.g when I said the psychiatric e.g from my Aunt that was about to trigger me. So my point, would da course be able to curtail the triggers. 

Next, What IS Personal Development. 

Strive in Self Discovering. As my device(Sammy 2 where I was taking notes - was acting up), I missed a bit of this section of the class. 

We were then asked to describe terms that relate to "Gay"/"Bisexual"

• Faggot(TOO Well Known to me - and everyone else hahaha)
• Steamer(Never heard of it)
• Shift lifter(Never heard of it)
• Cock Muncher(Never heard of it)
• TLDNS: The Love who dare not speak his name(Never heard of it - apparently its to do with Oscar Wilde)
• Friend
• ARse Bandit(Recently I was called this at Gay Pride 2014)
• Friend of Dorothy(more than likely referring to the film - The Wizard of Oz)
• Ponce(The Look/Non Word)(Never heard of it)
• Bum Snatcher(Never heard of it)
• Bitch
• Faghag(A friendly term of whereby a FEMALE is a companion to a gay man - VERY popular in the United States, kinda popular in Republic of Ireland. NOT sure about NI

Then onto DEFINITIONS of Internalised Homophobia. I found this to be of quite interesting. 

Distance from Early Friendships(In my case - they chickened out)

Soften the blow of being attacked by calling the person who calls you name, the same name. E.g if a guy calls you faggot and YOU are gay, then you call him faggot, and it will diffuse the situation. 

Low self Esteem/ Confidence
Avoidance of Gay venues
Wreckless sex ie Boilerhouse

There was a guy there who lived in Oz, and enjoyed every moment of it gay wise. When he moved back to Ireland, he was gobsmacked. This particular guy developed Internalised Homophobia. So I guess even from writing this blog post, has thought me that I actually HAVE Internalised Homophobia. And I don't even say it. In my case it is in relating to the abuse I would have received in the past.

So we got onto a lighter form of the course ie POSITIVES of Being Gay

• Meeting the wright person
• Learn more about your family and friends
• Love
• IN touch with your feelings
• can turn stereotypes
• Its OK if you look after your appearance
• I will survive
• Independent
• Beauty
• More wittier
• Aesthetic
• WE can be good talkers and listeners
• Better life
• Expressions Sexually
• Sexual health matters
• Open Minded
• Sensitive
• Tolerant
• Close Friends
• Motivation

So then at the very end of the course, we were all asked to give one word, some said They felt Younger when they came out of the course, others said they feel HAPPIER now. I said Very Intriguing and inquisitive of the course. 

Some were congratulated for ENTERING a gay venue ie the Outhouse for the first time. I remember the time like it was yesterday, my first time going into a gay bar ON ME OWN. It was unreal. My heart pumping etc., etc., Especially going into the Outhouse. Wow  was my heart not pumping. hahaha

So in the middle of the class, we were encouraged to go for a break. We all went down to the cafe. One of the class members Tom(I think), got talking to me. MY my, my confidence in TALKING to strangers like as in class members or etc., etc., BUY clearly I don't react too well to GROUP sessions etc., I did eventually come out of my shell. But  talking to my peers in person to person was a cinch. So I then got talking to Richard who is a Filipino from Manila. I was most intrigued of is name. I thought his name was in a Filipino spelling BUT nope. He said its just on his Birth Cert. heheeh. So then we went back up to the room to do our last exercise, which I have outlined above. Then the class came to an end for week 1. Our first session was over. So we should be settling in quite well. hehehe. So I came back down with my Raspberry tea I got during the break to finish it off in the cafe. I bumped into Searson. Great to see him.

On the way back home, I came across Yurean's place. So then I noticed something funny with the numbering. In that Numbers 90 DOWN to 1 is on the same ROAD as 1 to 90 on the same side. BUT with a BIG difference. Summerhill Parade AND Ballybough Road on the same road. Quite Unusual at the very least on the Numbers aspect.

NEWS

Cardinal Sean Brady has stood down after Pope Francis accepted his resignation. He stood down over age grounds. His tenure has been overshadowed by controversy over the hiding of the Brendan Smith case. Archbishop Éamonn Martin now replaces Sean Brady and becomes the Roman Catholic Primate of All Ireland and Archbishop of Armagh.

Buckingham Palace has announced that the Duchess of Cambridge Kate Winslet is pregnant with a second child. I wish her the very of everything.

A young lad by the name Quaid CLeven has won an award for wanting the inclusion of EVERYONE when it comes to sign language. He wants everyone to use sign language, so that everyone "can communicate together ". He would like the Irish public to get starting on Sign Language so that the Deaf people can communicate as he puts it. Also would be ideal if the Late Late Toy Show would do the same. Thats his hopes.

RYanair have purchased for $11bn for 737 Max. It can accommodate more passengers, fuel efficient. And travel further too.

Diary 27th August 2014

Well what a night it has been. I got up quite late. About 7pm. I had asked Mom that she let me know if the Mulligans were to come down to visit. Well indeed that she did. At quarter to 5, I got a voicemail(obv when I got up), saying that they are coming down, and to wonder if I'd be able to go up. So I said, I just might do that. Now after several days to a week maybe more, showered and prepped myself.I last saw the Mulligans on the night of 31st October 2010, when I had a mental breakdown. It was the night of the breakup of my ex. Thats the last time, I saw them. So October coming, it will have been 4 years. Now quite alot has happened on both parties. On my side, as you all have been reading. But clearly quite alot has happened on Mulligans side. Aging was a main one. I hardly recognised any of them. Some I did recognise. While I was getting ready. I had a panic attack. Suddlenyl all these thoughts began flushing like mind in my head. The minute I saw em all, my heart was pumping like mad. They all shook hands. Starting from JP(Kathleen's Son), Kathleen, Eileen(Kathleen's Mom), and Brendan(Eileen's hubbie). Twas wonderful to see em all. At some stage, I was thinking that I wasn't wanted, whenever I'd say something, I would be completely ignored. Then again, it has been 4  years. So I will have to regain the relationship that I once had JUST before I came out. Then out of the blue, Kathleen was talking about tolerance in UK and the Scotland that's wanting to divide and break away. She said stuff and one word came out well outloud. "Acceptance". Now I was quite taken aback. I didn't pay heed to it, didn't even react. I just continued on chatting. We all had drinks, then we continued onto the dining area and had a bit of grub. Then Martin(Kathleen's hubbie) asked that I help him with setting up Dad's TV to connect to his lappy for to show pics and photos of their time here in Ireland. They's living in England atm.

So bottomline, It was a mixture visit. Mom and Dad appreciated my help when clearing the dishes, so thats a plus. BUT when it came to the relatives, I will have to regain their relationship. I felt I was the black sheep ie a stranger. Of course they know me, but the vibes I was getting.

On the way up, thou I would like to let yee all know a little something. On the way up to the folks' place, I was chatting on Bender a bit of distraction. There was a guy who said he'd be interested for fun, and that he'd have SAFE sex. Of which I agree. Then as with my obligation, I told him of my hepatitis B. He then replied "No thanks man". I then replied with: "Grandie. Best wishes. Oh and btw get an education. It ain't FUCKING C jackass". Luckily my future bf, hopefully(all things going to plan.....) does NOT discriminate. The Irish need to get an education. I would have expected a 45 year old dude, to know of such. But apparently he didn't.

When I got up, after getting ready for the above event, just before I went out the door, I went to check on the freezer. I had over night, had 4 basins full of BOILING hot water and put them in the freezer overnight. So when I went to check on em they were as hard as ice, no actually they had turned into Ice. I had to laugh at it. hahha. But quite frustrating at the same time. I'm trying to cleanup the kitchen etc., but when this delays, it bothers me. So when I told the visitors above, they well Dad suggested that I Unplug the fridge freezer. I was afraid of doing so, as it would affect my 10 cartons of milk. But they suggested it only would be for about an hour or so if even that. So what I'm gonna do is borrow my Dad's roof melt burner(A machine that burns the Roof material to the ACTUAL roof).

NEWS

Brendan McGraw's search has resumed after a tip off from a member of public. He was abducted and murdered by the IRA 40yrs ago. His body hasn't been found since. All this could change, after a member off the public tipped off a location in Co. Meath

A 9 yr old girl has accidentally killed a 39yr old Instructor by a Oozie 9mm Gun. The girl lost control when the gun was TOO powerful and accidentally shot him in the end. As a result of this, rules and regulations have been changed. Customers must be 12yrs minimum.

Christine LeGard(Former Finance Minister in France, and Managing Director of the IMO) has been put under investigation for negligence in a fraud case. She was serving the Finance Ministry portfolio at the time.

TECH NEWS

Dropbox, an online cloud storage service, has signiccincatly dropped their prices and Introudced new features.

OLD Plan          NEW Plan

100GB $10       1TB $9.99/m

200GB $20      

500GB $50

New features include the ability to wipe your DropBoc DEVICE if your device has been comporimisted. What this means is if your Android device has been infected with a virus or wathever, DropBox files can be delted from the device and redownloaded to your device.

Currently for me, I'm paying Google Drive $2 for 100GB. per month. Now thats a hella lof cheaper. I ain't sure with Dropbox's Plans if its cheaper or not. 

Diary 31st July 2014

After my now ever so popular hibernations I got up. As today I was to get clothes from Lidl. However as I got up at 9.18am, I was still wrecked(even after 15hrs sleep), I just lied on. So then eventually I got up around 2ish. I showered an all.

So I headed to Lidls with my new baby(Sammy 2). My first stop was Ballybough Stores, to topup my O2 Money. On my way I noted a few quick things. In that there's a kid wants to sell something. I just completely ignore him. And he literally screams "HEY". Talk about missing all the minor details, If I were to cycle. hahaha, as with cycling or even driving, you have to concentrate. Whereas with walking, ya don't have to concentrate. hahah

Even I was thinking to meself(or as Paps would say, that'd be  dangerous - hahaah), that I'ma gonna get me a banger of a car. So cheap you have no idea. hahaha. But then I was calculating €10 per week, for Car Insurance. then I relasied, I'd be required to pay Car Tax and some other car finance. So I calculated this to be 520x3 nearing €2k. Then all of this fell through, as my income ain't steady at all.

Then lateron, further to my travels, I encounter Nuns(well so I think), I start quoting Bible to them. Jesus had NOT one single woman. Leviticus states "if one man lies beside the other OR woman  for that matter, should be stoned etc., " You should have been stoned  otherwise, why be talking to myself.

So I eventually arrived, after my thoughts. hahaah. Well as you can expected the clothes that I wanted, weren't there. Like the TShirts etc., Well what would you expect when you arrive several hrs late.

I then arrived, at Pennys, as I wanted to get the black version of the Scarfy that my Mom bought me yesterday in Pennys in Artane. I was extreme with excitement. I then said I'd pop into Pennys O Connell St, but then realised that I had plans on going to the Outhouse as I was getting a bit tired alrite.

Then I popped into the GlamWorld, sex shop to see if the Inflatable Cock(What I call him Bobby). They said they'd order some more. hahaah.

Then I popped into Outhouse. On my way , I encountered Bernard. Twas great to see him. However was sad to hear of his troubles in his current flat. He hopes to get into some form of retirement home. Which caught me by surprised. He's just looking for piece n quiet. I then told him that I do know Finglas where's he's from quite well. I told him that my Mom used to teach there. He got so excited. hahhaa. Such a small world alrite. I asked that he Facebook Message the names, as quite alot of names were mentioned. So I then told him of the time, I nearly ended up in Derry. hahaah. I was walking or cycling(can't quite remember), on a cold rainy night, after collecting my package which in the end, it was found my package wasn't there. But all I remember clearly was I was looking for UPS, went through some fields which was found to be Poppintree, and then went to towards the WRONG direction ie towards Derry INSTEAD of the City Center where I was aiming for that particular night. All in all, both Bernard and I left on a positive note. hahah. So then, I headed onto the Outhouse. Had a nice cuppa Peppermint Green Tea. Oh so lovely and gorgeous. mmmmm.

So then on my way home, I then headed towards home, to get ready for my next outing. hahaha. On my way, I encountered another minor detail I encountered BUT POIGNANTLY, was that there was a young girl standing beside here granny(more than likely) talking to another friend of the granny etc., Twas nice and lovely, I must say. You don't hear let alone see this these days. It reminded me when I was a kid I would see my Aunt(Nun) chatting to her friends. Yes I did say Aunty. However she ain't my Granny. Her age does indicate thou as if she were a granny. hahaha.

So then when I got home, I noted by my watch that I had gotten home in time, for the News and Knots Landing. However when I turned the TV on to my surprise 6.1 News was on. I thought there was a special or something. Then I checked the time on both the TV ie Sky and my watch, and to my surprise, shock and horror, it was a few minutes after 6. So I looked at my watch and I was quite taken aback, that my watch was a bout a half hour behind. Possibly with me messing with the watch when I go to turn the numbers around. Who knew. Well looks as though I do now. haahha. So I had to quickly make room on my Box for both mentioned programs.

So afterwards, I got ready and then headed out to meet O' Farrell to see a new film: Earth to Echo(Review here). ON the way, I saw Connor Clarke. He was in my Higher Certificate course in NCI. Twas great to see him. Now with him, he was acceptance of my sexuality BUT like someone else in the class, when I told him of my sexuality wanted to do UNUSUAL sex acts on me. I simply call this behavior USE. Just cause you find out someone's gay, don't mean ya have to sleep with em. Especially if you're married. Ever since I refused both guys, especially Connor, the guy I met today, he hardly speaks to me let alone Facebook etc., SO I removed him from my Facebook. I don't see the point. And today when I was speaking with him, I found him to be inkling trying to get away from me. I ain't a magnet.

So then I continued to think, that if a person is having issues while sleeping with loud music or whatever from their neighbor, they could try this. Listen to classical music and perhaps you may fall asleep. But of course, you'd have to have full power of your battery or whatever. But the point being, is if you listen to Classical Music, you will fall asleep. You'd never know. Ill pass on my tip to my sis. As she moved out of her place(which was above me), she was having issues with her neighbor for loud music reasons as well as other reasons.

So I met O' Farrell. We had a drink first in the Cafe Bar. And I came out to him to say that I am seriously considering working in the cinema. Like I have experience working in a bar. I told him that I was getting out of the PC and IT Industry as I was saying so to Connor above. So we went ahead to the film. After the film, I suggested that we go to Panti. He had a different idea. Which was to go to The Church. So I went ahead and followed. Twas alrite. Considering there weren't much people around, the bar guy had a bit of a tude alrite. Then O' Farrell suggested we move onto Panti, as it wasn't as Gay friendly as we thought it was. Like according to O' Farrell they did have a Gay flag, prob for Pride or something.  This is when I asked him, about the Marriage Equality and Gay Bars. I asked him, when Ireland pass the Marriage Equality ie Gay Marriage referendum next year, will there be gay bars still. He says YES of course. Even though New York has Gay Marriage, they still have gay bars. He continued even the White Supremists etc., in America and over here, The Irish are still against the colored etc., So its with this he had "Homophobia WILL ALWAYS be there. " We had a great time there. So then we moved onto our home, where we felt alot better, and more ease. We bumped into a few ppl heheheh. Namely Mike, Niall and Joe. I could have sworn that Niall and Brendan knew each other. Apparently not. I then shortly before closing which Panti on a Thurs(Late Night opening in Ireland) closes at half 11 went to pay up, however the card refused. Which was kinda weird, as I had topped up a €100 this afternoon before Lidls. So we jsut left it at that. WE then moved onto Front Lounge, but as it happens they wouldn't sell any as they were closed. So it didn't matter. So afterwards, we headed on towards the Luas Stop where I dropped him off. hahaha. Then I headed back towards my gaf. As I had left my O2 Money card behind in Panti, I check it out. I went towards. But obviously they were closed, I just thought to try my luck. hahhaah. So then, I just headed on home.

NEWS

Alan Wilson has been cleared of Romanians teen's death. Deliberation took 2hrs 53mins. 18 year old Marriu Rostas went missing Jan 08 while begging with her family. Her body was found in teh Dublin/Wicklow mountains 4 years later('12). Fergus O' Hanlon helper has been a pain in the jurys side by means of a Compulsive Liar.

Man is returning back to Prison after sex assault. Anthony Lyons is back in prison after servicing 6 months already for sexual assault on Griffith Ave(Where I was reared - FREAKY). It was found that the previous sentence of 6 months was "too leniant". He is to serve in total 18 months(INCLUDING the 6 months he's already served). So in total 6yr sentence with 4yrs suspended. This is the first time such sentencing has occurred for sexual assaults.

The now infamous Water Charges, have been introduced. Following are the details.

• The average household will be paying €238pa
• Charges will come into affect from October '14
• Half a cent per liter will be charged, BUT less if you have a septic tank(mainly used on farms - from my understanding)
• FREE Allowance for Children has also been reduced from 38,000 pa to 21,000 pa based on consumption levels and research done in the recent past
• Metered will be charged .244(quarter of a cent) per liter + .488(almost half a cent) for BOTH water and WASTE Water(If you don't have a septic tank)
• Put into Context
• Avg Bath uses 80Litres of Water = .20c
• Avg Shower(Unknown if its a power shower or not) uses 49litres of Water = .12c
• Every household will get a FREE Allowance of 30,000litres pa
• NO Standing Charge
• There will be an assessed. You will get a rebate ONCE the meter has been installed
• An additional €100 pa will be provided for the Most Vulnerable payable of €25 per quarter. 
• Bills are to be capped for the first six months. (Aug '14 - March '15)
• Avg €176 per adult
• Quarter of a cent per liter, the flushing of a toilet is to be 0.05c
• If there's a leak, you will be capped
• 50% applies if the water is UNFIT for human consumption

Diary 25th July 2014

Well after a great sleep yesterday, I got up with a slightly happier mood,(I have Patch to thank - heheeh). I got up, with a view of doing the News Bulletins from July 24th and free up space. However it wasn't to be. I showered. Getting rid of all the hair, that I had let overgrown over several days to a possibly week. So then I headed on with my first errand of getting my haircut. There was an auld lad in front of me. I vaugley recognised him. When it was confirmed he's an accountant for Jim Markeys across the road, I remember seeing him there alrite. The accountant customer was asked what he does for a Friday ngiht. His idea, is very simpley and elegant. Pub then onto another pub, for music and the he simply hops into a taxi. Twas great to see a bubbly guy(barber). We remembered dear old Kevin, Who was my manager in Spar in Drumcondra where I used to work, when I was a kid for pocket money. heheeh. He even remembers Don - my nemesis. Wow, talk of bringing up my past. It was amazing. My birthday of this year has brought up some happy BUT painful memories. Ain't that abnormal. So with such a happy face(for once - at least)

So then I headed back thinking I had a bit of time, but as it happens, I didn't have that much time. It was my plan to see How to Train Your Dragon 2(Review here), as the last time,So then I popped my head into the Outhouse, literally. As the film was starting at 6pm. I saw Brendan S. Great to see him. Then I headed onto the Cinema, for my peaceful time. heheehe.  I was late for the beginning. But as it happens, I wasn't as late as I thought I was. It was really effective alrite as I said in my review.

I then headed back to the Outhouse where I was greeted by Dave. I had hoped to get a sandwich. However, Dave explained  that there aint no Lettuce and JUST Tomato. So I jsut left it and got my Green Tea of Raspberry. Ohmmmmm So scrumptiouslioucious. as I don't take their Tea anymore(cause I first keep forgetting to bring my soya and they don't have it and secondly my wish of weight loss and not only that the discovery that Soya brings upon Man Boobs as mentioned by one of my FB Mates). I had asked Dave, that can it be done, whereby I bring my OWN green tea, and they just give me the hot water. He was a bit apprehensive about it. So he just recommended that I ask Joe. So we just left it at that. Now, as I don't take their tea for Men's Night, which they get for free(some arrangement in advance is made), I had to bring my Green Tea in a Paper cup. Which I didn't mind. So ownards I headed on up. Great to see a lively bunch. heeheheh. Patrick, Brendan S, Brendan O' F, Eddie, Ken(who left shortly after I arrived), Peadar, Bernard, Ollie and a few others I couldn't recall their names, BUT obviously recognsied. Patrick brought up a story he heard on Liveline(Joe Duffy on RTE Radio 1). Whereby he heard a woman from Donegal. A guy went into a bar in none other than a Budgie Smuggler, from what I gather is a swimwear or underwear that only covers ONE side of your cock. Something like that. But it ain't what I thought. Eitherway it was featured on the Liveline. Shame I didn't see the guy. hahahah. mmmmm. So then Brendan O' F later on told me that his mother was asking for me. I can't tell you how happy that made me feel. The feel that ANOTHER mother was asking for me. heheeh. Its kinda weird come to think of it that my mother asked me to send her love to all when I was at the Andre Rieu Satellite Concert last Saturday. Brendan S, then told me that he put O'F and myself and whoever else on a Restricted List. Its a feature on FB. I never got the jist of it. He put it in lamens terms. This means that if he posts anything public, then we'll get the post. He was under the da illusion that he posts too much. He was told something of this. I told him that that's wrong. and they's nothing but a lier. I told him, that my sis posts BUCKETS(which I don't mind - obbbbbbv), but that he hardly posts at all. I have him on the Notifications.

So then onwards to my next film. I headed this time with O' Farrell to see Transformers: Age of Extinction(Review here). Before we went in, O' Farrell asked me which Hepatitis, I had, whether it was B or C. I explained that I contracted it along time ago in Romania. BUT, that it got "activated", when I "drank myself to death" a few years ago while I was enduring  Homophobia. I used drink as a coping mechanism. NOT that it didn't work. However that's another story for another day. So then we headed in. We unfortunately had some unpleasant experience. There was a family of god only knows how many. They were all UNDER 12(considering the film was 12A Certification provided by IFCO). The Mom n Dad were there. The Dad sat beside me and the Mom down with the kids. They were making noises. As if it wasn't bad enough the screen in question hadn't turned on the 3D aspect of the film. IT was all blurry. But getting back to the kids, CLEARLY the film was not suitable for 7 or 8 year old kids. How they got through is beyond me.  I will bring it up with the staff next time I go to the cinema. Brendan had to go out to seek a staff member. The staff member had a talk with the parents and the kids themselves. This didn't stop one of em throwing somethings at Brendan. He got really mad. Saying "Obey your parents". I "will have you thrown out of the theatre". So then we headed on WITHOUT confronting the ill fated family. They should have had a babysitter or if they couldn't afford or they couldn't find a babysitter, just do without it. Oh I ain't letting Cineworld away with it. I will notify the staff and/or Management.

So after some unpleasantness, I left O' Farrell to Luas and then as I got a bit lost myself I just went towards Capel St., of which I couldn't find Panti Bar. Kinda weird, as I haven't been there since last year for Géilí - last year's Pride Events(2013). I happened to bump into Joe from the Outhouse. Was great to see him. I vaguely recongised Noel Gannon. Which is kinda weird, didn't think he was that small. But eiterhway,  he didn't recognise me at all. Joe says to me, Not norm to see me in these parts hahaha. I felt like spilling my guys about my dear Mother(Romania), but ietherway, was great to see him. He made a suggestive move to suggest I was looking for a bit of actions, not Panti I'll be looking for action. hahahaah. I had one Vodka & DASH of Coke. Twas lovely. Slightly stronger than what you'd get in the George. Another gay bar.

So then I headed on towards home. I was looking for Barber that Frank my barber had mentioned. On the way, I happened to come across an Internet Cafe or at least what used to be. I recall the days, on a Sunday, whereby I'd sneak out via lies to my folks to go to the Internet Cafe on a Sunday when me Pops would be looking at the match. It was a ritual with me. I used to go their to print stuff off from Ros na Run and of course to surf as well. Now in those days we had the 56K modem(ahhhh memories), there was no such things as Facebook, NOT even Bebo had existed when I was growing up.

NEWS

It has been announced that all 116 passengers Algeria Airlines all have perished.

US President Barack OBama, has hit back at Ireland's Tax Inversion. Ireland's Corporate Tax is 12.5%. From my understanding, Obama is stating that US Companies who come over here, are actually paying at Irish Rate NOT the home company's country. It first started when it was found that Apple(Being an American company) was actually paying IRISH Tax Rate NOT their own country's rate.

Diary 24th July 2014

Well I continued my hibernation period. As I still wasn't feeling myself. So sleep in my opinion just literally a comfort. I was actually due to go out to Howth by bike(oh hell to the no, me walking about 20km too and 20km back.)

I then recall yesterday,, when I was with my sis, that there was an auld lad in his 70s is what i'd give him. He was wearing SHORT shorts and a TShirt(I think a Dublin GAA Tshirt). Then on a different day, there was a lad in Pink Top AND shorts, so why the hell was I homophobically called a "Faggot" then. I had Pink Tank Top and Navish color shorts. The last time, I was called such a name was back in my secondary school days. Now thats quite a hellish of a long time, ain't it. hahaha.

I then headed to my hibernation. While attempting to sleep, I was thinking to myself, of Diagnosis that ain't popular such as Borderline Personality Disorder or the Joanne O' Riordan's No Limbs(aka Total Amelia - a person who is born without limbs). My point being, if something is not popular, how come you can have a name for the diagnosis. Like its like asking how much is a product that is not even for sale. etc.,


While at Dinner yesterday with the folks, I somehow asked about Gortahork, or somehow he came in the convo, I asked Mom if she remembers shortly after Mary Harney's funeral(Maura's(Dad's Sister in Law) step sister(twould appear she was adopted BUT in Ireland, not like me OUTSIDE of Ireland) that we both looked out a window on a rainy day out at Tory Island. I was gobsmacked that she actually does. Now can you tell me guys, how come she remembers such a drauny sad affairs YET she don't remember say last week or even my homophobia days.

The other night I was walking home from my sis at 4am was so beautiful. Turning night into morning. There were these two seagulls looking down at me and making theses noises. At one stage I thought they're following me, at another they's gonna attack me or another do shit on me. In fact there's a song called "Four In The Morning" By none other than Daniel O' Donnell.

I then slept and woke up for a bit for a bathroom break. While attempting to sleep, I did a comparison of the Samsung Galaxy S5, Notes 3 & 4 and of course my Sammy(Samsung Galaxy S3)


NEWS

74 Coffins will arrive in the next scheduled 2 flights of the MH17 victims. So far 40 Coffins have arrived at Hilversum.

298

Algeria National Airline AirAlgeria has lost contact with a flight to on behalf of Swift Air a Spanish McDonall Doughles C10. Flying from OUagadougou Burkina Faso from Algiers. It ran into bad weather. It disappeared after the diversion. 110 perished including Crew. Over 50 had French citizens. The deadliest 116. All feared dead. Wreckage located in Tilempsie, in Mali(around 70km from where contact was lost). Located in the Sahara Desert
Over 50 French


Miariann Yaham Ibraheem, the woman who caused International Outrage, when she was sentenced to death from Sudan, has been spared. She was sentenced to death just because she converted to Christianity from Islam. She was also barred from leaving Sudan. She arrived on an Italian Government with Junior Minister of Foreign Affairs.

UN Human Rights Commission finds that Ireland's Laws on Abortion are far TOO restiricive.

Diary 21st July 2014

I just remembered, that I can now recall why Johann Strauss' Radetzsk Marszch means so much to me. AS well as its fantastic score, I remember that I got a Johann Strauss CD from my Mom when she was in Prague with her long time friend Joann(who sadly is with us no longer - RIP). I remember I was studying my Leaving Certificate(State Exams) in my bedroom and had the CD playing in the backroom.


I then headed to bed for my more frequent hibernations of late. I had thoughts throughout the sleep and hibernation. In that one of the thoughts were, that I would ask my Mom(Romania) what advice would she give when I underwent homophobic treatment at the time. My Mom over ere(KC), she says simply says to ignore of which I value it and completely ignore the naysayers. I would be however interested in what my Mom in Romania would have said. If of course she is supportive that is of the LGBT.


Then later on throughout the night, (of course, I'm still having thoguhts), I'm being told by letter and I get it translated that she's gone. I naturally am devastated and attempt to take the "ultimate step and take me own life"(Mrs. Doyle - Father Ted(Going to America)) on a number of occasions and types of attempts: By bridge into water or injecting or the bus on O' Connell or the more than likely bang my head til I conk out. and somebody finds me.


My folks ere attempt to tell me. And I reply "So much pain"(Professor Charles Xavier(younger self of 50 yrs previous) - Xmen: Days of Future Past)


I would like to remind you all or to recall how all this Mother story started for me. Lemme tell u a little story. It all started when my fathers best mate went. Father I mean the one here in Ireland. I started getting the feeling of being followed etc. constantly thinking of her ie my mom In Romania. Ie she perhaps wants to "get to know me" - Chris Salvatore(Eating Out 3 : funnily having a cam to cam session with Daniel Skelton). Then on Thurs during the Dawn of The Planet of the Apes movie I suddenly got this vision of a ghost-like human. I kept looking at it. Then I asked my friend later on if he saw something of the same. He said no. So ever since I have been fearing the worse, that perhaps my Mom(Romania) has passed on.



NEWS

The Bodies of the Plane Disaster have left by a refrigerated train to Karchev,North East Ukraine. There was a delay in realising the bodies of the 274 who perished in last weeks Air Disaster. Two Newcastle United Football Fan have been found to be on the plane in which it perished.

Diary 9th July 2014

As it was so warm out, I decided to dress in my shorts and obv gay colors as in Neon Pink Tank top n Navish shorts. On the way to the Dole ie the Post Office, as failed yesterday. A car beeped at me and called me faggot. Now I took it with a grain of salt, it did get to me for a second, however I then remembered Kevin Costner's quote from Man of Steel. In that he states that "People are afraid of what they don't understand". I alwyas quote this to every living human being. It has helped  me in the past and now today. 

Mom rings me to see of my whereabouts. Now I was on my way home anyways, litteraly I was a stone's through away from my gaf, when she picked me up. To my surprise she did not utter a single word relating to my regout which I was gobsmacked and to this day, I still am. Its a possibility that she has FINALLY(Perhaps I may be coy or speaking toooo soon) We shall see. Ever since I invited her to the Outhouse for Information Session and of course for the big day in question: The Annual Dublin Gay Pride Parade, I have notice a slight change in her attitude. Again I maybe coy, I won't wanna dampen spirits or keep my hopes up or whatever. But as I say to all my LGBT Allies n Friends, I am inviting all my homophobes for one word: REFERENDUM as recommended by The Politics of Pride, Dublin Pride Event. My homophobes says they AIN'T a homophobe. Well Prove it is what I say. By coming along to the Outhouse or whatever. 

Had thoughts of a woman screaming  at my door by following me n preaching crap of hell being cured etc etc. me calling da cops. 

I then headed onto my sis to give her the food that Mom gave me. Had a nice grand auld cuppa tea etc., 

Then I headed on to meet up wit Todd. Twas great to see him. Hadn't seen him ages. We went to see Mrs. Brown's Boy's: D'Movie. Review here. Todd had the most heartiest laugh in the cinema. Twas brill. After the movie, I asked him about Garth Brooks controversy and said he's glad they ain't putting the concerts on as Aiken Promotions in his opinion defrauded Gareth and the legal system. As my friend says Joby says "Law is the Law". I fooly agree with both Joby and Todd. In that they's just got too greedy etc., But more over, that the Law is the Law. 3 Concerts has been played ie One Direction. 

I also told him of my "friend" and his homophobic ways relating to my regout on Pride Day and the such negativity I got from him. His reaction was not what I expected. I'd slap him him in da face. Cause I mentioned to Todd, the three hurtful things that were said. "You should be ashamed of yourself"; when the friend was struggling to say that he's "ashamed of being around me"; "apologise to the Outhouse". He even said "I'll slap you if you apologies to the Outhouse." I then said to him, that I've no intention. As I said to him: and to the friend: "I have WRONGED NO ONE". Shocked n appalled to learn u cannot kiss in da outhouse . I did explain to him, that it is in the safety of the patrons, if "Pervs" comes along. He took it as a joke. Then we were having our drinks. Oh by the way, did I forget to mention, that Todd treated me to drinks. Even though I asked him. hahaha. He had a French Martini and I had my 2 Santa Digna from Spain. Which is a Rosé from Spain. Twas lovely and sweet. We met Cousy from India on our travels. Todd pointed out the three of us have 1 thing in common. In that we's all immigrants. Todd(USA), Coush(India) and I(Romania). On the way home, to his gaf, Todd mentions that Cillain Murphys brother is gay and saw him in the Front Lounge on Pride Day. On the way home, we saw a truck wit funny looking things on its front and was explained to clean tracks of the Luas. 

NEWS

It is now perceived that Gareth Brooks WANTS to reconsider in playing in Ireland. Its of my personal opinion as that of my friend too, that as my other mate on Facebook says "Law is the law". The Promoters wanting to change things etc., etc., or use BULLY boy tactics. 

Brazil SHOCKING exit out of the FIFA World Cup of 7-1 to Germany. Loads of World record were broken. Like several goals within minutes of the game.

Diary 7th July 2014

Well after staying up while of course keeping myself busy of course, I set about going along my busy errands again. hahaah. My first stop was An Post to transfer funds over from An Post Savings to my Bank to pay off a bill.

ON my journeys, I just remembered that my Paps and I had a confrontation regarding homeless ppl and druggies etc, etc., yesterday. I had said to him that "Everyone  has a story". He continued to say that they chose that life.
I continued to think. heheeeh. That regarding the Gareth Gates controversy that's ongoing, that the GAA were selling concerts WITHOUT a license. Unfortunately 400k ppl who bought tickets maybe affected. More than likely the issue will be resolved. HOWEVER, the issue at hand hasn't. So I'd say that the Government will be looping all the loopholes.

Unfortunately my Earphones the ones that costed €20 have said its good byes. haahah. I must have sat on em or something in the cinema. Anyways, as I don't have music now for awhile, I would think quite alote to myself.

So then I set about heading on to my main area of my errands, my Unlimited Card. I headed to Cineworld first. Initially I was going to go to Lidls for the clogs first, but then I said to myself, if I have to wait in Cineworld for a film to finish so that I can go upstairs to check out myself, then I could simply hop to Lidls, get my clogs etc., However it wasn't meant to be, as I'll shortly explain. Anyways, I arrived. There was a group of people outside, I thought the cinema was closed, I couldn't find anywhere when the cinema opens. But I saw a guy coming out. So I just went in. There was hardly a soul around. There were a few ahead of me. There was a woman ordering 40 tickets apparently a group. Took quite a while. When it was my turn, I was asked to wait aside as she was the only staff on the floor. At this stage, I was saying to myself, I could have got my clogs by now. Eitherway, I continued to wait. Then the management Steph, came by, to check to see if my card was around. To my surprise. So I must have dropped it somewhere. Steph told me, that if I wanted to, I could wait til the film is over, however thats WASN'T n option, to wait 3hrs as Transformers is 3hrs long, give or take. I was most certainly not gonna wait that length. So I just rang up the Helpline and ordered a new card, pay another €16. Nothing knew. hahahah.

So then onwards to my next errands was to get Clogs in Lidls. I then realised that I was running low on OJ. I got Batch bread, which I haven't had for YEARS. Can't believe how long it has been. heheehh

So then on my way home, I saw the Temple Street Children's Hospital where I spent many sorry years -hahah. Not sure about that. Its there(Temple Street Children's Hospital) where I learned of my fate ie the Hepatitis B, (That I still continuously get judged on - most recent was that time the guy said "Nah your grand"). I'm told Its there I got vaccinated for to get into Ireland from Romania and hence I was diagnosed with Hepatitis B(Thou I wasn't told til the age of 25 when I was using sex as a coping mechanism with the homophobia. I was told by the Gay Men Health Clinic here in Dublin). By law I should have been told when I turned 18. But my "sensitivity" was an issue. Which is a load of bull. Here I was having sex with guys, NOT knowing I could have passed it onto them, like I did have Bareback on 2 occasions. Once was a HIV Health Scare. Twas a scary 3 months like Rose Nylon on Golden Girls(cept the episode made it for 72hrs - but reality its actually 3 months(Well Ireland anyways). I'd wander at times, why they haven't beaten me up or whatever. It's a strong possibility I'll have to get same for USA as well. What great memories I have of this hospital. My sis' chin was in bits after my so called "friend" from my Elementary School pushed her off the bike, something like that. Where my willy got caught in the zipper. Where my "juice" was NOT being cleaned by a young handsome(NOTTTT) Georgian ie Me, and hence got infected or whatever. Everytime I wank or get a hardon or even a bulge and hence don't clean my "Juice" off the willy, I get an awful pain. Back in those days, I never knew what the word "Juice" was or wanking etc., Thinking about, does it make sens a young lad of early teens can have a wank or bulge or whatever??? If so It proves that I was gay or I WAS BORN GAY to all those Str8 Naysayers. I would have been in my early teens, when I was getting bulges or whatever from looking at those fine things, esp the bully whom I saw in his tighty whities. mmmmm. So I ended up in Hospital. I remember the nurse cleaning the willy with a tissue, it hurt like a bitch.

Now the above paragraph, just goes to show, that my memory is slowly coming back hahaha of the good auld days, of my youth. Shortly I will be publishing my youth pics of myself obviously. hehehe. Now I did tell my Aunt(Nun) at our last meetup relating to me not remembering my youth. These things  takes time.

I then continued on my journey on the way home. I hopped into Spar to see if they have ALMOND. I intend changing over to ALMOND ever since I was told that too much soya for MEN, gives far too much estrogen and Man Boobs, which I have noticed  of late on me. Obv they ain't noticeable to the naked eye, but I too see a fraction of it. Its gonna be slightly expensive. As Lidls or Aldis DON'T sell any of it. I popped into Tescos to get Vegan Butter. But as they didn't have it, I jsut got some salad for myself. I then set about continuing on my track. As I was on my travels, I was seeing people and kept saying to myself wow ain't he/she splitting image of a person. Namely Berni Woods(Mark Woods adopted mother, she adopted him from Romania(BUT as a baby)); a bank staff in Drumcondra branch. etc., et.c, This happened a few times.
You all find that weird????Cause I do.


NEWS

Pope Francis has met with Survivors of the Clerical Child Sex Abuse. Out of 6, 2 came from Ireland.2 UK and 2 from Germany. Marie Collins who is a campaigner and abuse survivor assisted the 2 that came from Ireland. Marie Collins is a member of the Vatican's Child Protection Committee He "Humbly asks for Forgiveness"

Diary 6th July 2014

Well I got up nice and early. I had a few errands to do before going to my sis. My first errand was to go to Cineworld to see if my card was there, after(No surprise - I left it behind.(Yet again - no end to this. hahahaha). While on my way in, I had various thoughts on various issues, namely one area - LGBT. I simply don't fit in. I shan't be moving to New York on homophobic grounds but on the grounds of not fitting in. Last Saturday this was proven.
Another thought that came to me was having a heart attack and me in a ambulance. I sadly pass away. Nurse is found to have left me die cause of my sexuality. The family get compo. HSE is accepting of LGBT just one nurses catholic views like the Savita case. It was found that catholic views prevented Savita from living. If she had the abortion she prob b still with us.
So eventually I arrive at the cinema. After a quick search, I was told that my card was NOT handed in. Which I found a bit odd, afterall no one can use it to get in as there's a Photo of me. He suggested that I wait for about 30mins, however as I had to head to see me sis, I couldn't. So I then headed onto my next errand, which was to return Mom's charger, that I had taken home by accident. I was shitten meself, in case Dad would come out wit all accusations. But as it happens, he didn't even know it was missing let alone Mom herself. He invited me for a cuppa, however I was on me way to my sis. He said that Mom would be coming back from the shopping and to wait for her. As it happens I didn't have too long. So I helped to put the groceries away. Then we had a bite to eat. While there, Mom had mentioned a quote from Oliver Callin in which he states "It's none of my business if a person is experiencing homophobic treatment". Something to that affect. I will have to contact her relating to the EXACT quote. I will update you all ASAP. But if I have it right it sounds as though, he would wash his hands away from people who are having homophobic treatment. To which I totally condone against such. It even further dividing the LGBT Community. As my sis puts it when I saw her later on, is that sounds like he ain't as supportive as he should be. Mom dropped me home. I then headed onto my sis to get a few grub for her. we chatted and took a few pics of her cuties from her Teddy Bear collection. What a laugh we had. So I headed on home. I intended on staying up to get Clogs from Lidls. I was figuring out how to get my card, considering I'll be seeing Mrs. Brown's Boys' D'Movie with my sis tomorrow. I only thought of it tonight.

NEWS

Just because Patrick Feekery(Once a member of the Artane Boys Band) a person was member of the Artane Industrial School. He won a medal for his French Horn Solo performance. . He finally won the medal after 80 years.

Diary 25th June 2014

Well today's plan was to go to the next Pride Event: How To Win A Referendum in the Civic Office, Dublin City Council, Wood Quay entry, I think. I asked exactly where would it be held, but no one knew. In the meantime, O' Farrell contacted me to ask if I'd like to join him to see 3 Days TO Kill(Review here). I said firstly what about his date(which I later learned was rescheduled) and secondly err what about the Talk/Debate. His attitude was, "Well I'll tell you how to win the referendum". So I said that I'll pop round to both the Debate and then onto him, in the Outhouse and then to the Cineworld to see the film. So I set about heading off.

When I arrived at the O' Connell St.,/Parnell St junction, I was heading towards Parnell St where the Outhouse is. Says I to meself, ain't I spoz to be going to the talk, in which I turn onto O' Connell St., So onwards down O' Connell St. Low and behold, when I arrived at the Savoy Cineama(where world premiers' or Dublin at least film premieres are held), I encountered Mrs. Brown's Boys: D'Movie. I was so excited and ecstatic . I had understood the premier is tomorrow(26th) and the film release is Fri (27th). I took quite a lot of pics. I saw Sharon(Mrs. McGoogan's(Eilish O' Carroll)'s onscreen daughter), Trevor(Mrs. Brown's(Brendan O' Carroll)'s Son(Priest - or as Granddad would say, "Which one is he?" Mrs. Brown replies> "The Nun"), Brendan Grace(Twas sad thou seeing him on a walking stick :(, June Rogers(My memorable quote:: "Who do you think you are, Patricia McKenna(Whom she's a politician. I think she's retired now thou), Maria(Dermot Brown's(Mr.s Brown's son) wife), Deano & Rory(twas lovely seeing him again - The last time I saw him was when they were doing a film shooting scene at the Department of Local Government and Environment), Granddad,  & his Wife in real life. It was unfortunate thou, that I had missed The main character or star of the show, Mrs. Brown herself(Brendan O' Carroll) and his wife Jennifer Gibney.

So then after the excitement of seeing the cast again, hahaha, I then went on to meet O' Farrell in the Outhouse. Met Patrick. Says old fogie. I reply ur never too old. So he says "naughty 10 yr old". hahaha. We didn't stay at all as the film was starting soon. So onwards towards the cineama. So then after the cinema, I Questioned Brendan RE: Rape sign I saw yesterday coming home from my sis. Possibly in context. He has a point, I just wish they actually specified Rape Seed Oil.

I asked him is it homophobic if someone's person says to you, that they don't like you cause you're gay, and that if ones gf does not like me cause I'm gay cause the boyfriend wants sex with me. Automatically yes. 

ON the way home, I was really touched seeing a group helping the homeless. The group didn't even accept ones help ie donation. So they gave the money to the homeless person. 

While on my way home, I was listening to the song/track: "Sing - The Commonwealth Band feat. Gary Barlow. "

It was spectacular. I was bothered by what my friend Aaron from my primary school had said, that his gf don't like me cause I'm gay, cause she's afraid that she's gonna loose him. As Brendan says, "Protective" of him. So this song helped me a great deal. 

Here's the lyrics to part of the song. I think its so fitting. 

"Some  words they can't b spoken and only sang. 

There's a place there's a time in this life  when you sing what your are feeling

Find your feet stand your ground 

Don't you see right now the world  is listening...

JUST SING"

Music at the end of the day is my life. On the topic of day, I decided to wait til 8 when LIdls opens to get a few stuff there. On the way, I was advised by the Gardaí(Irish Police Force), to move along, he even touched me cause I was standing still. There was a confrontation or something going on. They were trying to get a bolster to break down the door. When I arrived at Lidls, I was told that the Inflatable Beach Ball, which I wanted, was not there and that they didn't have it on sale. Which I found so weird. I'm just after looking up the site, I misread it. It was just a picture. I thought they were selling it. 

NEWS

French Traffic Controllers striking continuous. Strike expected until the end of the week at least. UPDATE French AirTraffic Controllers has called off the strike. Dublin Airport Authority have received Official notification from the AirTraffing Controller in France to say that the strike has been called off.
Belgian Traffic Controllers to announce a strike if it goes ahead. Will have a detrimental.
So while one finishes strike another starts. The French has called off and have been agreed. However The Belgians have started theirs.


Filipino Women who were forced into Prostitution during the War, are looking for "Justice for the Injustice" that was done to them

The Free Travel Pass scheme is being under reviewed. Proposals to date are: Limit the Transport to use, Annual Charge and/or Limit the hours the Travel Pass can be used. Age Action Ireland has launched their Hands Off campaign.

Diary 24th June 2014

Well I was slightly groggy, nothing major to shout about as one would say. I was to be up for Mom as she was collecting me to get my dosh ie Dole, but more importantly to get my documentation for the Citizenship. It is required that I produce 3 Proof of Residence for the years of 2007, 2008, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013 and 2014. Hence 15 Proof of Residency to be printed off. Mom collected me, headed to Dole. I then headed first before the Post Office to the Clean Freaks to get my laundry done. Then I headed into the Post Office. Then to the Bank to lodge my money into the Bills account, as I like to call it. heheheh So we continued onto the house. As it happens, as it was lovely and nice day, Dad was doing the Hedge. So instead of the above of which mom was disappointed, the above being Citizenship documents, I helped out with dad. Collected the trimmings etc., WE took a break. Sat for a few minutes. He was telling me, that his and Mom's Medical Card are being reviewed and maybe taken away off them. Initially the Threshold was 1400 per week, then it was brought down to 1200 and now as Dad puts it: "Noonan"(Current Minister of Finance TD(Fine Gael) has brought it down to 900 per week. SO if you earn including Pensions, Savings etc., over 900 a week, you are NOT entitled to a medical card. I asked if it would impact on his finances or whatever. He said no. But the distress is a big deal.

So then we continued. WE did mulching. etc., While mulching, we came across Lillys that he had cut down initially before I arrived. When he was mulching the lily's, it became so watery. Normally when the greenery or whatever is mulched, it stays dry and just gets shredded. However with the lilys, it became like as I described it as "Guacamole". I actually became a bit queasy as it was so watery  like as if it were shit etc., Even picking it up. I know its just a flower, but imagine out of a flower, to become "Guacamole" kinda consistency....So then we settled down to dinner. At dinner, we were discussing various topics. One such topic being the Older methods of testing a patients Diabetes Sugar intake. As Dad puts it "Ain't this a delightful convo". It was described that in  the olden days, Doctors used to have to put their index or some finger into Urine and taste it. If it was sweet in taste, they had diabetes etc., I then invited them along to the Dublin Gay Pride Parade. hehe. Hopefully they'll turn up somewhere along the route.
So after dinner, we tidiyiend up teh garden and headed on inside for a nice cuppa tea.

So then afterwards, Mom dropped me home. I showered(took a few NSFW pics in undies wet - first time for me). Is it normal to find your self hot??????hmmmm ponders Stanescu. So then after a quick photo session, I headed onto my sis. Twas a great visit. We had a nice cuppa chaa. hhahaha. After Mom had told me about Jack(Noeleen's kid(Noeleen being Eileen's Daughter)) and about Silvia(Michael's kid(Michael being Eileen's Son)), I then began to ponder. That if either of em came out gay or lesbian or whatever, that Eileen would make their lives HELL. So the further I  began to think or as one would say, "The more I think about it, the more it makes sense". So then shortly before we went out for a walk, I then said to my sis, that I bet Eileen was involved in my homophobia. and that she's vicious. If she can give that face brrrrrrbrrbrb<<<<<shrugs shoulders>>>>>, even the sight of it makes me wanna vomit. We then headed out for the walk. I was getting myself a soya milk(mmmmmm Soya milk.) in a shop, when I went to pay for milk, I got my change(Notes from the clerk, and the coins from a machine). Says I to the clerk, "Is that mine" me chuckling. Never have I done this before. I continued on saying "I thought I'd seen it all". hahahah. It was unreal. hahaha.

I was then on my way home from my sis, when I came across a shop front listing the types of groceries that they sell. I was actually quite shocked to see that one of the types is "Rape". Now I know this is actually Rapeseed Oil kinda thing. But I can only imagine what a person who has been raped by an assaulter etc., Like think about it. Someone gets raped, then they go to a grocery store and they think in their head, "Oh, my I might be raped if I go to a store that has Rape in store. I might even consider mentioning it to someone. I will consult my sis, my mates and my folks about it. See what happens.On my way home and even when walkign with my sis, I was looking at cute guys BUT at the same time looking at what they were, and putting it on my phone. I then said to my sis, that my slownesss or "late bloomer" tends to bother me at times. Like as she puts it, nothing can be done. I told her I ain't ashamed of being gay, BUT beign slow, yeah thats a differnet ball game.

When I was doing my finances ie paying my bills weekly via AIB App, I accidentally typed in €110 in the box to transfer the said amount to UPC. I will contact UPC tomorrow and HOPE TO GOD, they will transfer 100 back to my Bank Account. Cause I need it for my rent.

NEWS

Brian Crowley has been expelled from the Fianna Fáil Parliamentary Party for switching from ALDE to ECR in Europe. It has been found that ECR is actually a RIGHT WING Party int he European Parliament. ie "Homophobic, Racists" etc., et.c, The Irish politicians have nothing better to blame but the Leader of the FIanna Fáil party ie Mícheál Martin TD. Personally I believe Brian collected over 180,000 votes in the European Elections for a personal gain. But as one Tweet from the Vincent Browne was read out to us, "You don't work for the party, BUT the constituent". I think that's brilliant tweet.

Diary 20th June 2014

So after yet another hibernation period(however I can now tell why I had a hibernation this time). Me body aching all over as if I had done a days work. For a walk that took a half hour to actually and hour and a half. I was aching in my muscles. Or as my ma would say" Muscle you've never used". haahah. So eventually I got up, when I saw the red light on my box meaning the 1'o clock news was recording. Next minute when I actually get up, Its gone. So perhaps its ran out of space. Lord I hope so and nothing else freaky. So I showered. And one name has been involved in my mind for the past few minutes to an hour. My mom's sister Eileen. I will have to ask my Mom if Eileen knows about my mom's work colleague being gay and the gay couple in the US. Cuase if she don't, then it would explain the homophobia, I got. Like that time, my sis and I were waiting outside the Hughes' (Ailish and Noel)household to get a coat for my Uncles funeral(which started my depression). Eileen gave the most wickedest of eyes u could think of. Even in my own home(where I was reared too). She clearly is against gays. No question of it.

So after the shower, I listening to my voicemails. Two were of interest to me. One was from an English number which I found out eventually. She said "Sad day for England". Meaning England must have been kicked out of the world cup and also about a bike or something. I've a feeling its either the Mulligans(WHICH I DOUBT IT) or Possibly my good mate and I refer to him as smiley Andy Palmer. And the other voicemail of interest were my folks. They came back from a holier in Wexford. Mom said on the voicemail they were in Courtown, Co. Wexford and on a boat(fake btw) and remember my sis steering the wheel. And another memory of my mom remembering too was the time my sis sang "Galway Girl" with a group in Ashtown/Ashdown Park Hotel just outside of Gorey, Co. Wexford.

So after the voicemails checking, I then set about heading off to Tescos and Lloyds Pharmacy. I got 6 or 7 Shaving Creams and 3 4 Pack Yoghurts, 3x Barefoot Wines(One for my folks - to welcome em home), 2x Butter(Vegan -  Pure) and Compost for me pops. So I called up to em. Boy what a reaction I got. hahaha. Twas priceless. I had my top off and a compost bag on me soldier and introduced myself as follow: "Farmer George here delivering the goods for my Pops." When I said the same quote to Dad, he actually thought it was for myself. Says I to him, what do I need it for. hahaha. So I told em of my adventures to the Big Gay Sing, then to the Politics of Pride and Marriage Equality and A Pride to Remember hence where I got the wine for them. We discussed my bday, which being the 30th I'm marking it with my new phone. So after awhile, I headed off. Before I headed off, I had asked Mom if Eileen(her sister) knew about mom's gay(male) colleague and Dad's two Lesbian relatives(who got married ie Gay Couple). TO my surprise yes Eileen does know. and secondly she didn't care, and what I wasn't even prepared for was that Mom told me that Eileen didn't mind, in that she was impressed by her JOB, not her label. I was most impressed. So why da hell is Eileen giving me looks. hmmmmmm. PONDERS. Mom dropped me home. So instead of me staying in for the night, considering it was quite early, I decided to head to the cinema.

So with that in mind, I headed on towards the Outhouse first to put in time as the film I was to see was at 10.20. However when I arrived, I was too late in getting a cuppa. So I just headed onto Men's Night int he Library. Lo and behold I came across O' Farrell. Twas great. So we both headed to see X-Men: Days of Future Past. (Review here). So after the film, I headed with O' Farrell to Harcourt St., where its on his way to his place. I then  was saddened and still am, when O' Farrell told me that the George is closing down and being baught by an English company Westerone. Something like that. And its gonna be converted to a restaurant. I exclaimed its gonna be a sad day for the Gay Community. Considering the straights have em everywhere, yet the LGBT have only 3 venues. The Dragon, Front Lounge and Panti Bar and the Dandelion which goes Gay on Tuesday nights.

NEWS

Niall Collins TD has been marred in controversy when it was found that he had submitted a letter for to quash a conviction of a guy was delaying with drugs conviction. Now first and foremost he is the Justice Spokesperson for his party Fianna Fáil. He submitted the letter for "compassion" reasons just because he felt sorry for the family. What a load of bull me thinks. "Conceeds He erred with court intervention"

England kicked out of World Cup at group stage for the first time in 50 yrs. Italys Loss against Cost Rica posed a threat to England. England previously themselves had been doing poorly in their previous game against Uruguay.

Diary 11th June 2014

I had made plans to go and see my son Godzilla with Todd, however he wasn't feeling himself. SO we decided to leave it until he's ready. He has this desperate cold. So as with anything, of which I've notice

A very cinematic dream in that my dreams based in a cinema. At one stage we were at an IMAX movie requiring a feedback. The movie was set on a ship with the monster being the enemy. I had negative feedback for the film. As I was approaching the feedback box in my mind I was approaching a church that had a crematorium in it. Then at another stage i leaving the imax n for fun tapped a member of staff s shoulder. Might add he s an elder. So I then go or towards the exit. N get inline for a ticket. I note they now sell microwavable popcorn. Somehow drink gets spilled. The  pours in the microwavable popcorn anyways. 

Another  aspect of the dream that i realize I'm in a 3d film. So I say of fuck. Then I feel a 3d glasses down the site of the seat. They r very elegantly. 

Then another aspect but so weird is that I'm sitting down n im in different areas. Its indescribable. Like one minute I'm in one place the next am else where

Then separately to cinematic dreams I then recall memories of me ex in his friends 30th birthday. M my first time staying up till 5am. Wondering what we did afterwards

Then that illfated night The front lounge 

 We went to Temple Bar Hotel where we were to try my first experience of sex. However due to my ongoing stress of homophobia at home, I wasn't able to "perform". My Jnr., kept going soft. We went to Front Lounge where I got severely drunk(never have I done this before). We were to go to Break For the Border(Dublin's TUES gay bar) But since moved to Dandelions.

The drinking episode i had with my ex in front lounge the night i also met Rory Cowan aka Rory Brown (MRs. Browns boy s Rory) for a pic n all. I  remember asking Keith who is this Rory u want a pic of as i had never heard of him. Keith described him off course I'd hoi to the wrong guy haha. So we drank the night away. I was getting very tipsy. But didn't care. I just continued. Then we were all told to finish up as it was last orders. So Keith n I headed to our hotel. Where on the way I kept falling. Some guy approaches us n says something about bf. I can't recall it being derogatory. We were supposed to go to the Break for the Border but unfortunately Keith had shoot himself literally as the new Bulmers Recipe has taken a toll on him. So we're just headed back to the  hotel. Then all of a sudden i stated to cry outrageously skulking all my guts out on the homophobia etc. I remember him saying stop or I'll start. He hates seeing the love of his life suffering. We surefooted to make love the next night but my junior was too stress like his owner.  The next day after the drinking episode we headed to the Jameson distillery. There was a tasting session. I just couldn't handle anymore drink. I remember testing a bit n either give the rest to Keith or leaving it behind.

Can i promise u one thing. We the people of the Republic of Ireland are gonna fight u all. Uve ruined me for life. I can't stop sleeping, can't stop thinking of my ex. Only I get to have a say not u in my relationships.  

NEWS

It has now been found that the  Cook Report which was published  yesterday, actually found no evidence in the Garda Bugging in which GSOC, brought up back in February of this year. Former Minister of Justice Alan Shatter was found that he had told the truth. So now from my perspective that GSOC either the staff, and or the Organisation will need to look at the themselves, as they are after making two Senior positions UNTENABLE, namely Former Garda Commissioner (Martin Callinanan) and Alan Shatter. They both resigned or stepped down, because of the GSOC. 

Reform Alliance Group has just published Proposals. Reform Alliance which consists of TDs who left their respective political partys because of their Party's Policies. Eg. Lucinda Creighton TD, left the Fine Gael party because of the Abortion Laws. etc., etc.,, Consists of 5 Fmr., Fine Gael TDs and Two Senators. Denis Naugten, Senator Fidelma

European Commission is to investigate Apple's Tax Break. Californian Governor Jerry Browner, poked fun claiming if Apple were to pay the same tax as they pay in Ireland to pay such a low tax in Cali, USA that Californian would be its own State Country. They are also investigating Fiat in Luxembourg and Starbucks in the Netherlands.

Lack of Regulations of Smartphone Apps, caused Berlin, Madrid, Paris, London to come to a standstill. All caused by App Uber.

2 Months ago a late 1800s Trinity College Gate, was rammed down.  and has now been reinstalled. a 68 yr old man has been in arrested and later released.

The World Cup Host country is further in tormoil with its poor work load and poverty.

The World Cup Governing Body: FIFA has been accused of corruption.