Diary 8th January 2016

Thinking of moving to Galway however CineWorld prevent me as I'm subscribed to them they've no other branch I realize I'll never b able to leave Dublin so I just self-harm via biting viciously my arm. 

So then I had slept again. As I failed to sleep right up to what I had hoped, I got up an hour beforehand. hehehee. 

Again I was to be up for 10 for Dad's decorations, however, one extra ingredients. and that was to Take 2 to go and get the Bank Statements. However this time, I had my card and PIN. That said I could have done this without a card, eitherway I did print all my printing in the Bank of the statements. 

Then I headed on off back to Mom's car and we both headed on off to Folk's place to coneitnet on with the decorations. This time we were in the back garden. Again continuing on, with breaks etc., etc., Then Mom dropped me to the Credit Union to withdraw for the Printer I hope to get on Monday. 

So then afterwards, I then headed back to bed as I again failed to sleep. 

Diary 7th January 2016

I'm in a restaurant of the worst service in my life. Initially, I see singing about gay people like a laugh or whatever. I ignore and sit down with my mates. We have a great meal except main meal in which one of my mates asks the waitresses where is it. In the meantime, the waiters start stripping tease which was hot. Mmmm n yet I felt nothing. Is it cause the appropriateness of the action. Cause I went to the gay party then but was told to go back or I was given dirty looks. However, there was one strip tease that got me going thou, hahaha in which he starts to use a scissor to rip his undies. mmmm

I slept until about 3am, in which I had the above dream. Then afterwards, I just laid awake with my legs paining me. so with that in mind, I eventually got up for to get ready for to take down Dad's decorations with him. So my sis n I were collected. Had a bit of grub. Then we got to work,  Afterwards, Both my sis n I headed on home. 

So then afterwards, I headed on to sleep as a failure of lack of sleep previously. 

Diary 21st December 2015

Diary 21st December 2015

When I came home last night, I reorganised my Decorations from putting the snowman behind my tv to the Bathroom window instead. However I went to get a cuppa tea for myself, ahem that's Green Tea to you and me, hahahaa, however the kettle wouldn't work. So I quickly looked into the fridge n freezer, and to my surprise and shock, I quickly said to myself, "No no no, this can't happen", cause I've got buckets of vegan food frozen that I need when I get out of my starvation mode whenever that'll happen, anyways my point being, I only reasied that I had disconnected the WRONG plug as BOTH my freezer AND my kettle. Which esp my Kettle would be VIP, oh boi.

Well after several days of how to download a Tumblr video, NOT GIFs, but Videos, I finally found a solution thanks to YouTube user:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uytev1ueTc

Following is the method. (For Chrome). The above video works for Firefox,

Open up tubmr. PLAY the video. Mute if necessary.
Then press CTRL + SHIFT + I(NOT L)
Click on Network
Click on Media
Double Click on Video link that appears.
The right click and save as per norm.

Now how simple is all that. hahaah. Thanks budddy(As Screeh powers puts it: Buuuuuuuudy). heheh

Then afterwards, I then went to meet Seamus. I last saw him last year for Interstellar(Review here), however as I later learned I actually met him since. heheheh. While we had a lovely chat, I had told him of my recent events. I could tell him he was shuck up about it. Then again he was having his own personal issues too. The fact that he don't wanna go near the SYstem, kinda worries me. I'll ask my sister about it. He belives that they stuff meds down ur throat. I said jst insist on THERAPY ie talking. He wasn't having't none of it.

So then my next plan was to go to the Outhouse as I was hoping to give Joyce her card. I again got the card mixed up completely. So then when I arrived Bernard was there. He gave me a gift as well. I do things traditionally ie Christmas wise. heheeheh. So we chatted about Star Wars. Again, I will be publishing a review very soon due to high demand in seeing the film.

So then I headed on up to Mom n Dad's primarily to fill out the Disablilty Allowance form. HOwever it wasn't to be as Gerry Brady my Godfather and my Uncle called by and then Siobhan Coffey and her fiancé called by too. I hadn't see Siobhán in years. I saw James few months ago when he was helping Gerry with fencing or something. So instead, as I hadn't gotten sleep yet as per my norm, I then headed on off to home and more or less went to sleep completely.

Diary 17th December 2015 - Dad's Birthday

Today wasn't too bad. Although it was by no mean any better, but at least its something.

My day started off with my heart outta me mouth literally. Like the Sabrina epsidoe whereby she has a Secret Admirer, and her heart is literally beating OUTSIDE her body, (now oblivious not the real heart - ahaha, that would be just grotesque. )

Anyways moving on as one would say, Mom collected me. I had checked my post. I received three letters. One from Social Welfare, the other two from friends for ie Christmas Cards., So I opened the Social Welfare, and it stated that I had not signed as per required. So then I opened the other two. I had received scratch cards. Then I scratched them and was shocked that I had won €25. Cause the last time I won so high was when I had gotten a scratch card from Colette.

So then onwards, and upwards, we headed onto Social Welfare. Today's idea was to get a more clear idea. I was deeply disheartened when Mom was told to get out three times., I felt for her. Me heart was higher in me mouth as per above description.

So then afterwards Mom drove me back to her place. I helped Dad briefly with the lights in the garden. Then I headed on back to my place.

I got myself ready for the evening in terms of putting on my Christmas Undies and Jumper on. I couldn't find the undies. So I put on others I bought in Aldis on Sunday. I then headed onto Store St., seeing as I said above, that I forgot to sign my signature. Then I went onto Aldis to get more cards. Then I finally arrived at the Outhouse. I was due to be at the Christmas Party between 4-6. However that said, the fact that I arrived slightly late, at least I had seen others, so I wrote my cards and handed em out. eheheh. Then I was advised that I go and get a secretary. hahaahah. In fact Patrick had reminded us that the politicians ' Secretary used to send us Christmas Cards. hahaahha. So then James who also their, was also telling me how Windows 10 had failed him when he went to upgrade. So for waht ever reason I was trying to comapre that he hates Microsoft, whiel I hate Social Welafre. He was most appolgoetic for the way he went on about Windows 10. I kinda understood what the acutal issue was. Something about Widnows 10 not accpeting his backups or whatever. So I offered him how about he go and download Recuva to go and attmept to recover the files. etc., So I shall also offer him Ubuntu in terms of attmepting to access his files as well. Searson was also their. Was great to see him. He wanted to see my self harm cuts. WHen I went to take my jumper off as I was getting warm, I several times attmepted to hide my self harm. THat said, I also didn't care. So it all depends ont eh person.

Diary 17th December 2015 Dad's Birthday

Diary 11th December 2015

Diary 11th December 2015

While getting ready I saw a piece on RTE's Prime Time that the ISIS video on that had a group of victims with their hands tied up. And a bomb LITERALLY sent to them. Oh the thought of it makes my spine shivers. Although RTE did warn the viewers alrite.

Then my last item before actually bedding, I installed my first Lampshade aka the Santa Lampshade. hahaahah. I was well chuffed. I should list it as a Facebook Life Event.

Before going to sleeping, I was looking up the Outhouse Facebook page. I saw an interesting story and it had on it, that St. Vincent De Paul had "stand down committee". I googled this. Couldn't find anything. So there's me thinking wondering if they's homophobic. If they were I would tell them to take a hike with their help and if they asked why I would tell them am gay.

Twas a wonderful start to the day. heheheh. Both my sis n I headed on off to our folks to get decorations up. Initially I was to go up for to print my bills off as part of a requirements of Supplemental Welfare Form application. However it wasn't to be. Eitherway Dad n I got the testing of the garden lights completed. heehehe

Then we sat down for a cuppa. I got a fit of the giggles. I was chatting about whatever then onto when my phone showed "SVP stand down committee". I asked the fam what did this mean. From what I understood it means to resign.

So then Dad dropped us home. I continued on with the decorations.

So then I headed on off to meet Barry for to see Krampus(Review here). I went to Outhouse first to see if anyone would recognise my glasses. heheehe. Then afterwards, I got a lovely card from Patrick. heehhe. Then I headed to meet Barry. I find that he's changed lately. Like for e.g if I didn't understand he'd get "Keithed", what that means is that he'd get pissed off. Like we were talking about his Pops back ie it kills him when he tries to cut up logs. I didn't hear him too clearly, yet he continent to sayin "you know like cutting down threes etc., etc.," something to that effect. I find that anyone I touch or get to know that they start getting "tired" of me. Its happened to a few people in my life now - hence my potential diagnosis the Dependency Personality Disorder. I asked Barry if he heard of this. He rebuked badly about it. Yet he's heard of Borderline, alrite. He knows a few people who has Borderline. So I'll distance myself with him for awhile. I'll continue to hang out with Andrea, who even asked where have I been.

Diary 10th December 2015

Today not bad a day, by means of being business. hahaha.

I went into Social Welfare(my new home - hahahah) to get them to write me a letter as part of a requirement for Application of Supplemental Welfare. While waiting around, My number was 144. I noted Desk 29(Information Desk) was at 128 and says I to meself, on my ticket it said that I was Number 9 in the queue. And says I to mself hmmm, 9 + 128  does NOT equal 144. More so about 14 or whatever. Then I looked the other side of the pillar and noted 135 was the ticket number,  I then said ahh yeah that's more like it. hahaah. I then continued to wait around. Not a budge out of the two of Desks. So eventually Desk 28(the one with 135), got moving on up with numbers. Then when 128 was finished, they closed up completely. There was a guy at 135 and he finished his business there, but when the next number was about to be called he went up instead. He was required to fill out a form or whatever. Afterwards, I saw the guy leaving in a huff saying: "fill out another form; me bollicks". So then eventually it was my turn, by golly was he so cute. Like wow. He wore a pollar tshirt and whatever trousers of which I wasn't able to see. I was jstu drawn to his eyes(awwwwww). Then we got down to business(now, now, hahaha). I asked for teh said letter, and he asked why I took a while looking for a job, and still am. I told him that I have Mental Health difficultys. So we left it at that.

I came back home, and looked at TV, while doing so I was cleaning up rubbish, and then I started the decorations.

So then I set off again on my merry way. This time to meet Andrea for to see Victor Frankenstein(Review here). Beforehand thou, I paid a visit to Lidl, Tescos, all to see if there's anything I can find for to go to have for Christmas Dinner. and MORE so DESSERT. mmmm like Mince Pies, Cake etc., etc.,Then onto Pennys to get a Christmas Jumper and Undies. mmmm. and of course some Star Wars merchandise.

Diary 10th December 2015

Diary 7th December 2015

While looking at Sunday AM, they did a peace on ChristmasFM. The Christmas Radio whereby they only play Christmas tunes. I remember there was one Christmas, whereby I was playing the Christmas tunes, WHILE putting up my decorations in my old bedroom at home, at the same time from Christmas FM, possibly also the song Winter's Tale as well while I went down to dinner or something.

Well what a wholeheartedly emotional today turned out to be.

First off was a user on my Facebook account, got me blocked for so called profanity. ie,, So my sis or my self posted a pic of an puppy or something like that. This user posted in HER native tongue, which is a pet peave of mine, that I HATE. So after awhile, I replied to her, firstly DEFENDING my sis' honour and secondly that I hate when someone speak THEIR native tongue, expecting us to Google Translate. The fact thou she has PLENNY of English, yet she had the gaulls to speak in her tongue"!!!!, So when I confronted her, I logged back onto Facebook and I was told that my comment had been reported for Profanity or whatever and that I would be blocked for 3 Days from posting. THEN I tried Poking. Same to no avail. !!!!!.

Then it was time to start my day, just before I headed to my appointment of Employment's Support Officer Christine, I received a letter from Social Welfare stating that my rate for Illness Benefit is  €84.50. Now thats a hella lot lower than my original rate.  So then I continued onto the appointment. Christine asked me how's tricks. So I just had to let rip what was going on. She just didn't know what to say. She recommended that I go to Citizenship Information Center in O' Connell St., for advice etc., and to investigate about the Supplement Welfare Allowance.

So armed with this information, I then rang my sis and my Mom. Mom invited me up to there place for to settle this once and for all. Its been going on far too long. So then I got started by heading up to Mom and Dads BUT with doing my errands first.

Firstly was to go to An Post to check if their was any cash AND to get stamps. No surprise there was NO cash. So I got my stamps. Then I rushed back home, and then got and posted my cards. Then afterwards, I headed up to Mom n Dad's. Mom was going to collect my sis when I had arrived. I had told Dad, that the sleeves were getting the worse of the treatment and the towellys. To the point they ain't being worn anymore in public let alone his house. The whole time I was up there, I was being treated as if I returned back tot eh family tree. ie when I had blocked Mom n Dad previously and I'd come back, that I would be welcomed back and treated as such. So the whole day we were balancing between Decorations AND sorting my issue out as well. So Mom drove my sis and I to Social Welfare in Kings Inn St., My sis and I were for once treated to a lovely guy. He explained everything. Few questions still hanging. But still its something. So we headed back. Filled out the Supplemental Welfare Allowance form. So hopefully that'll come through. Now my sis and I calculated a few things. It was confirmed that yes indeed I will be getting €84.50 + my Rent Allowance has now been added back. I collect him at the post office and the €84 will be sent to the bank automatic. So adding €84 + €77 will get my €161. Still missing out on €101. So hopefully I'll be able to get it. So the Supplemental Welfare Allowance will balance it for me. Then afterwards, Dad and I got MY decorations down. hhaahaha. So Mom left them down to myselace. heheeheh.

Diary 7th December 2015

Diary 3rd December 2015

Well today was not bad a day. I had gone to bed quiet early. hehehe. Today was the day for the decorations to commence. Oh boi. heheeheh. Dad collected me slightly earlier than anticipated. heheeh. I was there handing him my TV to see if it can be salvaged ie the stand aspect, in my underwear. I was looking for my other sock. hahaha. So Dad and I drove to collect my sis.

We then went to the house. We took down the decorations outta the attack down to my sis' old bedroom.

Then afterwards in order to get my glasses for free the test at least, I was required to fill out a form and then hand into Ballymun HSE Health Centre. So Mom dropped me there in treacherous weather conditions. I was then told that the form would be sent back out to me, which prob wouldn't arrive til Tomorrow or Monday. As I needed it for tomorrow's Eye appointment.  I then made out by saying "I kinda like needed for tomorrow's appointment.". So the receptionist, put me onto a person likewise same thing, and then the person came down to me to go and stamped what she needed and then gave the form back to me.

So then Mom and I drove back. I continued on with the decorations. hehehehe. My sis was doing the tree, while I was with Dad.

So Mom dropped me back and my sis too. It was unfortunate thou that Dad and I couldn't sort out the TV. As it happened, the Bezel part of the TV had literally BROKEN completely. So I ain't sure exactly what happened.

Diary 3rd December 2015

Diary 9th January 2015

Dad and I continued. Packaged completely. Dad got a call from Gerry his Bro. He wanted a lend of a jack saw. I met Siobhan my cuz's bf. I hadn't seen Gerry since Reggies funeral. We then went to Beaumont House(Review here). I took down the lights outside. Packed them up. I then headed to outhouse. First to Lidl as I left my hat behind. Manners of a pig. Racism. Cineworld for Taken 3. Homophobic.

Following is the Facebook Status I posted in relation to the manners of a pig in Lidls in Parnell, Racist remark in the Outhouse and sadly the homophobic treatment, both my friend and I recieved.

I regret to inform you all that yesterday was not the best. Although I helped my folks with decorations, that was grand. By all means.

I popped along to Lidl, on Moore St., to see if my Hat was handed in. I went to a security guard who btw was actually looking at his cell phone, I asked if my hat was handed in, immediately he said no, Not even a budge to see if it were handed in. So after I paid for my kettle, I in a fit of rage, went to a Staff member, who gladly helped and asked around. I wanna thank him. But the security in LIdls' Moore St., clearly NEED retraining.

I then went to the Outhouse for my nightly entertainment. At one stage in the Men's Night, I was racially attacked indirectly. By this I mean, the lads were referring to some guy in the French Attacks or something, and the person(of whom shall remain nameless) said he "should go to the Romanian Orphange". I attempted to intervene by telling "errr hello, I was there", however he failed to listen. My friend who was with me throughout the night, told me that he has been told in the past that I am from Romania, and that he told me that he is actually racist. Despite the person knowing this, he made the remark. I was deeply gutted that I was lost for words. I shall be taking this matter with the Management of Outhouse and the Gardaí. RACISM MUST STOP. It won't stop if I sit back and do nothing.

My mate also came with me to the Cineworld Dublin to see Taken 3. I was most not prepared for what was to happen next. We were BOTH treated to Homophobic abuse throughout the film. It was quite scarey. My mate got the bate thou. We were treated to heckling. Although security was called a few times, that did not stop them. We were both called faggots and my mate was called OTHER names too. I was literally sick to the stomach with the treatment. To the point I actually wanted to vomit in my nachos which I had finished btw. The security guard came with us for protection. We were afraid that they were gonna follow us. So we joined up with two females(whom we would like to thank PROFUSELY), for company. We then left them when we found that the lads disappeared. This continued throughout the night. We both wanted the Cops involved. We were told they were on the way. However we later learned, THAT was not the case. Although Cineworld Cinemas is a VERY LGBT Friendly cinemas, I know many staff who are LGBT Friendly at the very least, some are gay even BOTH male and Female, I was MOST distraught to learn that the Gardai had NOT been called. Again I shall be taking the matter up with the Gardaí. HOMOPHOBIA MUST STOP. People in Republic of Ireland say Homophobia and living as a gay man is grand these days, it's NOT. If you people knew what actually happened. Like we were thrown at. Recorded and more than likely will be published on Facebook. If any of my Irish mates(of those that are left) or indeed international, comes across a video or photo or whatever of BOTH My mate and I, PLS REPORT to Facebook for Homophobic. On the way when I was leaving my friend to his Luas stop, the friend noticed that I was being homophobically looked at. I told him what my mother says to me all the time. HATERS hate SILENCE. I ignore all comments and looks etc.,

Diary 8th December 2015

Today we did jobs specs. We were required to do job specs on computer. I came across Dublin bus specs. I then headed to home. Lidl then to mom. Mom collected me at the garage. Dad took down the lights. He was soar. So we just put them away. Came home. Took down decorations.

Diary 16th December 2014

Well what a day. I had mixed feelings etc etc. As I'm abt to explain.

It all started with a bang at the window as I heard some ppl talking. Then my letter box being opened. It was probably my Windows DVD being delivered and I'd have to sign for it. If I have to sign for it I'll wait til I pop down to Lomond Ave (sorting office).  However as I later learned it was actually UPS. So I started my days errands. Post office then bank. As I had left the bank details behind but badly wanted to lodge I had to get my details. The security reminded me the bank closes at 4pm in an angry tone. I then headed to Ryans for multiples and dad's Christmas gift. However he was willing to sell me the lamp WITHOUT boxes. I said it's for a present. I then headed to tesco to get gift ideas which I got in the end. Heheg. I then headed to Lloyd's for more gift ideas. As one auld lad says "decisions decisions decisions. "

Headed home. Hung a few decorations. With troubleshooting lappy recording dallas things might be looking up again. Who knows.

Headed to my sis. Chatted. Writing cards. Heheg

Diary 14th December 2014

Well what a night. Even though it was a short night it was one hella night. It all started off when I got up at 5. Showered etc. Took myself in sexy Santa sir I bought the other day. Wasnt impressed with the material thou. Couldn't find the one from last year. Hahha. Looking for the Christmas jumper I bought a few weeks ago n the Tshirt (which didn't take too long) jumper yes. Found em eventually. Then gathered food from Maureen from Wed' meetup, my sis' pressie I got yesterday in smyths,  and my own inflatables. Then I headed off. We chatted for a bit. She wasn't herself today. Sure who is. Hahad. Then I realised that I left the Water Forms behind. I was late as I spent so long in getting everything ready yet I left one little thing behind. Came home. Hung up my tinsel which took several hours. Literally the time flew. Hwgeg.

Diary 13th December 2014

Well I had quite a busy day ahead. First port of call was to gather documentation  for the loan as outlined yesterday. As it happens I now have to wait for the phone call to be approved.

So I set about getting my sis n the pups Heheh from Smyths I saw last week. Heheh.

So afterwards I headed to the outhouse for card writing n then headed on home. I was chatting with a guy. I've chatted with him before just don't know his name. :(

I put up bits of decorations.

Headed off to see Interstellar(Review here). Moody but enjoyable. The woman beside me was v emotional.

Diary 10th December 2014

I woke up to 5 missed calls from Maureen and a text from my sis. As it happens she's have work done on her Broadband  service so I'm meeting in town instead. I was due to meet her in her place to help her with her Lappy.

So I set off to the outhouse. For the 2 r 3rd week NO good movie out. So I decided to write my cards. It was my view of going there to write cards. However there was a bit of activity. So I joined in. I made a point that if the outhouse is to survive they don't need wifi as it's costing them.

Tatiana n Gerry m Severn n Joyce were most appreciative of the cards given from here.

So I headed off home. On the way home stopping off for dad's Christmas gift. And something for myself as I wasn't sure if the bread had gone off etc. As it happens miraculously it still fresh. So I put up a few decorations. The lights that I was to get dad to check I found em. But no point now. Wrapped up Maureen's gift.