Diary 23rd December 2015

Diary 23rd December 2015

Well today started off with a disappointment. Again I couldn't get out of bed. Me thinks its because I'm surviving on Green Tea. and of course Chrisps, which is shortly on their way out too.

So that said I got up slightly later than anticipated. I then headed to meet Edmund for some bizarre reason I kept calling him Edward. I even put it on the card. Like wtf, like, or as the American's puts it "ikr(I know right)", hahaahah. So that said I then headed on off to meet him. It was slightly later than anticipated. I first went to AIB to withdraw cash. However the machine said "Unavailable", so I checked to ensure its not the wrong card. I went inside to try and figure out what up. Then afterwards, I was assured its the right card. So I went to the teller to withdraw. Then I went to meet Edmund eventually. hahaaha. When I arrived another guy Ruairí was there. I never met him. So Edmund then said that he had to go for an event of "Anti-Christmas", of which I took serious. Like I would imagine there are people against it. Like Atheists, for Meat reasons and animals etc., etc.,

So then I headed on back home. On the way, I wanted to get vegan dinner for myself for Christmas Day, however it wasn't to be. I wanted to get stamps of trying to post two cards I left behind, in Ireland. Then I realised that I had the stamps with me all the time. But not the cards. I then came back home.

I was watching a few TV shows, then I headed on back out to first the Outhouse. I had planned on going to the Down to the Earth to see if I could get more Vegan Dinner food. As time was NOT on my side, I then headed to the Outhouse to deliver MORE cards. ahahha. I left them with Jamie. I chatted for a bit. heheheh. I then headed onto meet Todd for to see Star Wars. heheheh. Twas a pleasure seeing him again after all this time. I was disheartened to learn thou that he has been suffering depression as a result of his mother a few years ago, when he was back in Irl and she was over there, ie the US, that he couldn't be with her. Something to that effect. So then I told him of my diagnosis. etc., I ain't sure if its official thou. He brought up a soar spot of which was by no means his intention. How was he know. So I did a bit of self harm in the cinema toilets, the biting of rubber type and I saw something unusual so then I continuing having at it. Then after the film, I headed with him to his place.

I was lookinh aty my emails, sure whats' new. hahahaah. I then came across a very interesitng article whereby it was desceribing an art Technostaglia whereby it'd releave our wonderous Dial-Up days, theren there was the ENcarta. God be the day, I'd go every week over the Dial-Up update Encarta on a Friday ngiht while looking at the Late Late or whatever with Mom n Dad. My Dad or Mom would wanna get the phone however it'd take it up the Internet. hahaha. Ahhh mememories.

http://mashable.com/2012/09/10/tech-nostalgia/#gallery/technostalgia/53deb7dc97b2f8440800a52d

Diary 19th November 2015

Diary 19th November 2015

Although so far, not bad a day, hahaah, It was quite a good day.

I couldn't sleep anytime after 10. So I got up, looked at yesterday's news. Then it was time to go back to Social Welfare to hand in the Letter that the doctor yesterday made for me. However Mom asked if I had the paper that the guy in Social Welfare yesterday, made out, and I had left it behind, so as such, the Doctor couldn't make out the CORRECT version. This was made out today when the letter wasn't accepted. So that said I was asked to get the correct things as "this has to be sorted".

So I headed back, looked further more news. heehehe and current affairs.

I then got ready for the latter of the night. hahaahah. Ohhhh the memories. I do really miss the cinema. The depression does really get in the way of life alright. Or as my sis puts it, "debilitating". But this time round, I went to see Brooklyn(Review here).

Diary 13th October 2015

Well today was quite a day. haha

I did my usual errands I do on a Tuesday. hahaahah. hehehe.

My first port of call was to get my dosh before it closed. I was there struggling with my bike and the laundry AND my trousers(which kept falling due to my rapid weight loss - hahaah). I've noticed recently that I can't do anything with my right hand anymore. With a JO(jerkoff), nope won't do the work. Basically I have to use the left for everything, for JO's for walking my bike even carry bags etc.,

So moving on I then dropped the Laundry into Clean Freaks, which was quite unusual. By that I mean that the price is lower, and I got a text off them stating that there are "two items" and then the woman told me that it would be available on Friday, which is interesting. hahaah.

I then headed onto the bank did my business. Unusually I didn't have enough for to go and do my normal weekly bill payments. So I looked up what "robbed" my money. hahaah. It was actually Electric Ireland and Sky.

So then I moved onto my grocery weekly of SmallChanges. hahaah. I asked Peadar, why the taste of one of the TOmato Sauce was so "boring" or Bland. I knew about NO Added sugar or salt, but seriously? So he told me that its JUST tomatoes. Well the laugh I got. I paid about €2 or €3 for jst "friggin tomatoes" as I said on the way home. hahaha. It was priceless.

So while transferring files for my sis' visit, I took a shower. Then headed to my sis. On the way, I was looking for a Grater where I can grate cheese. hahaah. However the manners of a pig in Centra didn't have any. hahaha. So I arrived and we looked at TV. I brought up how come Maureen remembers that MEMORABLE day of when I had Mom, Dad and Maureen and of course my sis for a Cuppa and a Apple PIe or something. We sat around my table. Then my depression hit. And hence my place is NOT suitable for visitors anymore. Then the other day I was onto Maureen by means of a phonecall, and she told me of the dream. I can't for the life understand why she's so obsessed with that particular day. ahhaah. Then my sis asked when would I be going up to the folks. And I said I can't go up freely to Mom n Dad's as I'm no longer welcome to visit, but to FOOD, thats' all I get.

I was interested in finding out what party the current Dublin Lord's Mayor(ess) is ie Críona Ní Dhálaigh, I kinda knew she was a member of Sinn Féinn, however One thing I never expected thou that Sinn Féin's FOUNDER is Arthur Griffith. Where I know that name is that the avenue I was reared on ie the street is known as Griffith Ave., I was told that the avenue is named after Arthur Griffith. Now one asks, WHY??? like did he live there, or fight etc., etc.,

NEWS

It has been announced that Paul O'Connell, has been ruled out of teh Rugby World Cup. This is his last Rugby International. Ie he's retiring forcefully due to a string injury

A report of The MH17 flight from Kualampur that was shot down by a Buk missile, has concluded that it was indeed the Buk that shot down the plane when it was  flying over a no - fly zone in Dunesk, Ukraine.

Universal Social Charge - 13K Entry Threshold
The new rates are now 1% 3% 5.5%
Pension Payment €3pw
Christmas Bonus - 75%
Fuel Allowance 2.50 to 22.50
Free GP to Children Under 12yrs
Free PreSchool aged 3-5.5
Child Benefit increase €5 per child pm to €140...
Respite Grant fully restored to 1700
Stampy Duty Abolish replaced by a 12c charge per ATM Transaction
50c Cigs
Minimum to 9.15
Limit on the contactless Card going up to €30 from €15
9% VAT retained
600 Garda
2260 Teachers
Extr AMbulance Staff
A Cut to CGT Capital Gains Tax
Corp Tax reduced to 6.25%

Diary 13th October 2015

Diary 13th October 2015 – Budget 2016 Special

Diary 24th June 2015

Well what a day it turned out to be. The most NEGATIVE or BAD LUCK I've ever had in ONE day. Quite extraordinary actually.

It all started when I failed to show up for my sis. So thats Bad Luck 1. Then when I eventually got up, I stayed up for a few hours. Was looking at yesterday's and Monday's news for the 4hrs PER day. Quite enjoyable alrite. hehehe. I looked also at the documentarys etc., One being the  Coming Out to the Curve that documents LGBT life in Ireland in 2015. One of the members of the Outhouse, Eddie was featured on the documentary. I was most impressed with his Rainbow colored Dinner set. heheeh and cups.

Then Mom arrived down to drop shopping. I then got ready to head out to the dole. I was initially suppose to head to my sis then the college. However I completely forgot about my dole, when I was making arrangements with my sis. heehhe. I was gonna leave the dole til next day ie Thurs. However Meteor and my Credit Union Loan esp him since Friday. As I said yesterday, I was afraid that I would be charged €10 by the bank and UNPAID. Thats the most horrific thing to occur to a customer. So I said I'd do my banking, hahaha. So I went to get the dole, then onto the bank. I wanted to set up my Meteor account on my Online Banking in the bank itself using the self service. However surprisingly, AIB wouldn't accept it. So am at a loss as to how to pay em. Bad Luck 2.

So onwards to the college. I was to attend an Information Session for the course, Post Graduate in Mobile Applications Development I'll be doing in Sept. I popped into Mace, beside the college, where I used to go in a lot, ahahah and to my surprise Fresh Good Food Market was their in its place. heeheh. I last was their when I was with my Mom, my sis and my Aunt back at the Markers. So I kinda indulged and overspent. I was met with great reception. heheheheh. So then onwards to Lidls, and Tescos to get OJ, Bread and Butter respectively Butter being from Tescos. So then after Tescos, I headed to my sis. heeheheh where I spent the rest of my day, into night, attempting to sort out my finances, my depression etc., I then realsied something that I was to purchase an Inflatable that I had clicked on Buy Now. And only remembered it tonight. heheeh. I had received a message on EBay reminding me that I had started a purchase on EBay for an Inflatable. And I had completely forgotten all about it. heehehe. So I first attempted to log into Paypal to add my Bank to the account. Well I went through hell trying to get my password. So I had to reset it. Then I attempted to pay as per normal, however I realsied that I had to transfer the funds over to Paypal from my bank account, then I realsied that I would have to wait a few days for security reasons. So then I said I'd attempt it considering I'd need it to go and pay for the Inflatable. So my sis offered to pay for it, of which she offered several times. So in the end, my sis paid for it, and I gave the cash I miraculously had to her. So as you can see not the best day in my life. haahah.

AS regards the depression aspect, I still have the fear that my mate Todd will tell me that he has to work for Saturday 4th July, which would devastate me. It would be another "Keith" saga all over again. Now obviously Todd and I are not a couple or anything. But I hardly see him, so its just a fear. And onto my mates of the two Brendan's of which I have not seen NOR heard since June 12th. Now I don't know whats going on. I ain't their daddys or whatever, but if they are mates of mine, I should have heard from them as in like say "Where's George", I haven't seen him, or whatever.

My sis and I were also discussing while attempting to look at movies. However connection all over the place were not working. Her WiFi and MY 4G Data Network wasn't. So while hanging around, waiting for episodes and films etc., I explained to my sis exactly what happened when I was blocked from uploading Photos. It happened as follows. I uploaded 164 Flowers, NADA. I uploaded 141 Gay Love theme photos. TROUBLE. I was in the middle of uploading, and I was asked to RELOGIN, of which I did. I was immediately given the below screenshot.

Then I came to the conclusion that, I was a victim of an individual in Facebook who has coded a computer program, whereby if the program encounters Same - Sex or LGBT themed photo to BLOCK the User. 

NEWS

It has been announced as expected that Dry Rot, has been the cause to the terrible Berkely Tragedy that killed 6 Irish citizens.

JOsave Thsanaiv has been formally sentenced to Death. He along with his older brother Tamerlan, set off two Home made bombs at the finishing line of the Boston Marathon Bombings on 15th April 2013. 3 people lost their lives. Tamerlan, Tsaniaaiv was killed in a shootout with the Police

2 more victims from the Berkeley Tragedy are laid to rest. Niccolai Schuster and Olivia Burke.

Diary 18th June 2015

Today, I was meant to go out for a film, more so to sign the Book of Condolence for the Victims of the Berkeley tragedy in the US. However several things have been going through my mind. Namely "is my depression" trying to haunt me, will Gear Ireland accept my regout, or send me packing or most probably what is going through my mind are my physical soarness in my legs.


NEWS

9 people have been shot dead, in whats been seen as Hate crime. The victims were at a Historic Black church in Charleston, South Carolina.

In relation to Berkely Tragedy, it is possible that the cause of the tragedy, was water had gotten contact with the wood and hence the wood was rotten. It has also been revealed that the company behind building the Apartment Complex Segway,.,, paid $6m to avoid a legal case.

Diary 12th June 2015

Interesting day ahead of me. hahahaa. Got up looking forward to seeing my mates in the Outhouse etc., So I set off heading to the Outhouse. ON the way, I encountered a cyclist being knocked down by a person who did not look to see if there was an oncoming cyclist. The car was pulling up and never looked by opening up the door. There was a buzz of activity. The cafe was closed as David wasn't around. So we just chatted for a bit amongst ourselves. Then David arrived, however was too late to serve tea. So Gerry suggested that we go to a cafe outside. So we chugged along and looked for one. I said that in New York, it wouldn't be a bother looking for a cafe, haahah. So we all ended up in McDonald's in Mary's St. Searson, O' Farrell, Gerry and I, all headed to McDonalds. Was great chat we had. I told Gerry of my fabulous Bike ride. I whole heatedly enjoyed my time out in Bray/Greystones. I just said that I only use my Dad's head. haahhah.

I then headed to the cinema, to see San Andreas 3D. It was with great regret, that I actually did leave behind my card. So chugged back to the lads. 

We all dispersed, went our desperate ways. The two Brendan's went for the bus, I along with Gerry headed to go to the car that Gerry drives. He drives from Shankhill every week, hence how I was able to bring in my wonderful journey last Sunday.

So I headed on home. On the way home, I encountered another fire whereby it was there the last time my sis and I were walking home from her place. When I came back my sis was there to greet me. It became apparent that my love for relatives etc., is actually a "medication" for my depression. 

Diary 18th January 2015

Showered for the first time in about 2 months. Depression and shit delayed me. Updated my Dell lappy again with drivers. Saw that Leo Varadkar TD had come out publicly as a gay man. Mom asked me if I knew he was gay a few months ago.  Headed to my sis.

Diary 1st January 2015

I had decided not to go get up for either New Years Eve or New Years Day.  Likewise I did on Christmas Day and Stephen's Day, as a result of my continuing pining for the relatives.
After my sleepless night I cudnt sleep O' Farrell rang me to arrange meetup of cinema. we were to see The Theory of Everything(Review here). We had a drink first then the movie. I was distraught after what Mark had done. He first said he was Noel Hughes. I kept repeating to myself we have a mole in the family tree. ie constantly bullying like Keith etc. Then when I looked at the number even closely I thought it was Chris from Kells. But I later learned when Chris himself had texted me saying he was NOT out for New Years Eve yet this other guy was. The reason Chris had texted me I was going through all the numbers I had saved etc that had no names n just wanted to find out who was who. I was literarely in floods of tears. Nearly having blades to meself.  I later learned that he has some form of depression when I asked if he had a mental illness. So then I found out in the end that it was mark when I looked earlier in the convo that he attempted to ring me a few times. I was this close to putting the blades to myself. Like I said to myself while still in bed, right that's it, can't take any of this. So I set about to get ready to go to the bathroom when I got a text from an unknown name ie number with no name. I asked who's this. And he replied Noel. I said to him, that he has no idea how he has made me feel ie happy. It just take a few words or letters to get a person out of Self Harm. No question.

So i came home. Went to my sis' aid.

Diary 4th November 2014

I had some quite interesting dreams.  Ros na Rún's Liam O' Conaghaile(Darach O' Tuairisgh) is falling for me. Both he and I are taking selfies in the Phoenix Park, Dublin.

I'm in a some park where the Russian's have hired me despite me knowing I'm gay.

ROnan from Kennedy's where I used to work, he's a regular customer. He wants my help after several years. He knows am gay, yet he wants my help after several years?????

I'm in a park with a few others, we all gaze lookingly into the sky, when we see stars or what we think are stars flying. WE look closer and its actually aliens who wanna eradicate the human race. I recognise em from an animated film I've seen. Sadly I'm a victim. They get my by putting a USB 3.0 type plug into my head and am gone.

Just as I was getting up for a bright brand new day, I had a thought of when I was getting treated for depression last year, I had a Dr. from Pakistan asked me on one of the visits how I was feeling. Visibly he could see I was NOT alrite. Yet he was smiling. So then I started to head on home as I knew there was trouble acoming. He started taking off his clothes. SO I ran like an Osteraich. However he caught, considering its'a  small room. And he did the deed. and RAPED me. Now as I right this post, I should have known that Pakistan(assuming he's Muslim) and Gay DO NOT fit int he same sentence. Then again, I was forced to go with him anyways.

So I got up with such a fright from the thought more so, and I woke up to 4 missed calls from Mom. So I listened to the voicemail. She had mentioned the other day, that Dad wants me to help him put up a lamp. So I said I'd do this. To distract myself. When I went up to them, it was no better, as Dad's mood wasn't the best. Well not the normal anyways. hahaah. So I was playing with my cell phone, at the same time of helping Dad. WE had a bit of grub. I brought my own Milk and Green Tea. As I don't trust any of em now, with my veganism. let alone vegetarianism. I said to Mom, "I don't want no cow in me body".

So then Mom dropped me to get my dosh. As I left my Bank Details behind AGAIN!!!!, I wasn't able to lodge my cash in. So I headed back home, and looked at a few TV shows. heheehe

I then headed onto my sis. WE chatted and chatted. We ordered a takeout. I had rang La Costa(the takeaway we ordered from), to enquire about Kebab Tray as to whats in it. The call was not the best. But as it happens, it WASN'T vegetarian, so I gave it to my sis. heeheh. I told my sis, that ever since my coming out, Christmas hasn't been the same. In that my depression is the "Need to be WANTED by FAMILY". You see it all the time on TV, movies etc.,e tc., even friends.

NEWS

Ensure Public Ownership of Irish Water. SIPTU's Jack O' Connor has called for a Referendum on this particular issue. Fianna Fáil' Leader Michael Martin has endorsed and supports the motion. Alan Kelly TD hasn't ruled out a Referendum on the issue. His ministerial colleague Paschal DOnodhgue feels its NOT necessary. It has been announced that a major announcement will be announced within the next few days to a few weeks. The head of IRish Water, Managing Directory John Tierney has apolgiuised. Likewise Minister of Environment Alan Kelly conceeded in defeat of rushing the Bill. 

The introduction of the Water Charges, is to help the Finances of the Country. This will allow for Social Welfare, Tax ?????

Diary 17th October 2014

I was due to travel along and pop to see Maze Runner(Review here), however considering I went to bed EARLIER than recently ie 10am this morning, I still couldn't get outta bed. Perhaps its my new throws, that's my paps got me yesterday, awwwww. Or it could be the food. Then again I did get a bit of grub from the folks, so perhaps it prob was the throws that wanted me to stay in bed. OR how about this guys, could it actually be perhaps that my Patch puppy was covering the sunlight. mmmmmm That STOPPED any sunlight coming in. I have him in the window. heheeheh.

So I got up eventually for 8ish. So I set in motion and got ready and headed off to the Outhouse. It was my intention to see The Equiliser(Review here). I encountered Gerry((The Teacher), David(The guy who works behind the door). Great to see it alive. Oh and of course Ronan. Then when I went up to get my Green Tea(Reaspereabrry), Joby who works as a volunteer, gave me quite an interesting advice. He was referring to my recent happenings at the Outhouse and my outbursts on FB relating to bullying. Joby was saying that there is a policy whereby NO patron shall be bullied. The Outhouse is a safe environment for LGBT. I had made the point that there ain't any other LGBT center like the Outhouse, its the only place my sanity lives. So Joby offered me a chance to send a Letter of Complaint to management. So then I popped upstairs to see Men's Night, I saw a handful of people. heeheh. Scott, Bernard, Cathal(Only recently met him), Ollie, Patrick too. While he was downstairs, in the cafe, I had asked Patrick that I'd like to ask Bernard a question. So I went outside on the steps to meet him. His point is why am I worried of what people think. I said its normal that I don't care what a person thinks. I just wanted his view on my puppies etc., So it was time for me to head onto Cineworld. To collect my tickets.

Diary 12th October 2014

PS This post contains NSFW in the form of Self Harm.

Well I got up with much agitation. I got up slightly later than anticipated. SO I texted my sis. I hit the shower. I first wanted the pain of what I have been going through. By that I mean, I had cut with NO pain. I was getting slightly frustrated. HOWEVER, I then noticed, all along that there was a mark by means of a line and a few marks around it.

I then got ready for my sis. Headed on to Centra to get my milk. I then headed onto my sis. We were given a takeout. WE were looking at TV. Great to see her as per always. heehehe.

Diary 11th October 2014

Shortly before I went to bed; my doorbell rang. It was Maureen my Aunt(Nun). I DON'T talk to family members cept my sis of course, as they don't understand depression. That's my view. Like my Mom backing up the LGBT ppl ie CONSERVATIVE gays. This horridly bothers me. She agrees with them in that I shouldn't have worn that regout on Pride. Maureen was dropping pasta for my sis. As per always, Ill be giving her the pasta(Ahem, my sis).

I headed to sleep for a few winks. Then got up struggley after a few hrs sleep. I was to cancel. BUT I really wanted to see The Maze Runner(Review here). WE then went to the cafe bar to get a pint and a vodka, coke each. heehehe. We chatted for a bit. Then we headed onto our next film, The Equalizer(Review here).

News

Paul Murphy(AAA(Anti Austerity Alliance)), has just taken the Dublin South West By-Election as vacated by Brian Hayes who was elected to Europe. He won on the 8th count.

Michael Fitzmauraice(Ind) has won the Roscommon/South - Leitrim By-Election which was vacated by Luke Ming Flanagan as he was elected to Europe. He won on the 7th count.

1000s turned out for the Water Protest held in Dublin this afternoon. They came in their drones from all over the country. They came in all forms of transport. Bus loads. etc., etc.,

Diary 5th October 2014

Well I had set my alarm for half 5, I failed to get up. Would appear, I had forgotten to get the Snooze function working. Unfortunately my sis thinking I was self harming or whatever, she came down in the heavy rain. God love her. She kept getting texts saying I was at a Movie. This is enabled by my AutoSMS app, I have. Bottomline is that I was late in getting up and my poor sis had to come down in the pouring rain. As she was so worried about me, she contacted my folks, and they came down. My Mom banging at the door. Whats even amazing is that my sis had told me she was shouting etc., yet I never heard a thing. So they offered me a lift, as I was highly late for my sis. So on the way, I didn't say much. I did note however, that Dad never even looked at the sight of me, let alone me. He's prob still raw about my no show when the American cousins arrived.

So we chatted for a bit, when I arrived at my sis' place. I revealed to her, that I can't just simply dump my mates that have caused my anguish. As I view them as a "relationship", and that if they were to simply exit my life, I'd be seriously self harming, BUT at the same time, I can't stand their lies and the money grabber as I describe one. So I shall be seeing MORE of my other mates, that I rarely see, and see my other mates that are causing my depression once a week or whenever I bump into em.

NEWS

A mass grave has been found outside the city of Iguala. 40 trainee teachers were reported missing the end of last month. It is believed that the police who had been investigating got corrupt in Drug Cartels. The students were on their way to a protest in relation to better teacher rights etc., The police appeared and shot some of them dead. So far 22 Officers have been arrested in connection to the shooting.

Pope Francis has said mass at an inaugural of the Synod. A questionnaire setup by Pope Francis was circulated last year globally.

Diary 28th September 2014

PS Again this post contains NSFW content in the form of self harm.

Well unfortunately I regret to inform you all, that my self harm tendencies has continued today. Well after such a long hibernation, thinking sleeping would help to alleviate the urge, I got at half 6. I was due to travel along and pop along to World Vegetarian Day. I went to the event last year. It was quite impressive. This year it was in a different venue. As my depression came back like a camel on its back, I was unable to attend. So I just stayed on, however my urges got stronger and stronger.

So with the time, considering I was due to visit me sis, I got ready and showered. Its there I did my self harming. I don't do it in the traditional sense, whereby I cut veins or whatever. I literally just press down on the skin with the razor, when the pain comes, I relieve and continuing going down on it. And a little skin comes off, then I've done my deed.

So shortly before I finished up the shower, I heard Mom and sis at my door. I just ignored them. However, when I heard my Mom attempting to "breaking in" and entering(I say this LIGHTLY btw), I just had to use the towel around my little junior, and confront my Mom to prevent my door being broken into. My sis could see me getting agitated. So I told Mom to stop it. They both headed off. So as my Mom didn't help me at all, I continued my self harm before I finished completely.

So I then headed off to my sis. We discussed with my recent outbursts on Facebook and of course my Blog here. WE of course also looked at Two and A Half Men. heehheh. Truly most enjoyable, as always. ahahah


NEWS

Japans' 2nd tallest Volcano, has erupted SURPRISINGLY. At least 31 hikers are believed to have perished. Mount Entacké is the Volcano that erupted unsurprisingly. They least expected it. It erupted unexpectedly with an almighty force. It could even be seen from space.

Europe has defeated the USA for the 6th time in 7 Ryder Cups. They won by 5 points. Europe 111/2 and USA 61/2.

Diary 26th September 2014

Well as I had yet to sleep, I stayed up. I had gotten up at midnight. I was gonna go and see the new movie The Equalizer. Shortly thou head to the Outhouse. However I recently told a friend of mine, that I have possibly outstayed or over stayed my welcome. Ever since the Pride debacle, I have noticed an increasing amount of times the guys in the Outhouse mention it. Like get over it I say. So I just stayed in for the night. I have been watching TV.

I watched a few documentaries, current affairs programs. etc., One of them being Midday. The below are the topics that were of interest to me.

Would I micro chip myself as technology evolves. Personally I would. Would be great if I were to be in an accident or whatever, and even for security reasons, I would feel at peace. Like take for e.g, I'm at an airport, I would get scanned, then simply say go ahead, as the Security staff, would know very quickly. There are of course security concerns in terms, of you could be followed etc.,

Another topic of interest was members of the public were asked if anything has changed economy wise. Some have said that why we haven't learned anything from the collapse of the economy back in '08. Some say its as cycle. Like the Taoisieachs attitude towards women, then their is the hiring of a chronism(some are calling him this - McNulty I'm referring to) to the Seanad. etc., etc., One of the panelists made a very good point, in that whenever the govt, is fighting a legislation or whatever, they always bring up the point that the PREVIOUS administration/government brought upon us. She maintains that they will use that as an Election tactic come the next General Election. Ie they would say to the electorate or voters, that "oh we brought back the boom and the bust etc.,"

Photos of yourself and the Web. Personally I says, the minute your photo hits the phone's camera after the Shutter sound, its on the web. I've told umpteen people, if you've anything to hide then DON'T take a photo of yourself etc.,

Lending Money or Borrowing. Another worthy topic of discussion. It has been mentioned that Money does come between humans. I quite agree strongly. Its coming between my friends and myself. Thank god my sis and I are easily understandable. If she borrows anything I can ALWAYS trust her to return it to me someday EVERY cent. and hence it never gets in the way of the relationship. Whereas my friend, he borrows and borrows but NEVER has returned a single cent. This has been going on for a few years. Its no wonder I rarely accept money from people. Cause my folks in this case, use money as a guilt trip. My mother always told me to accept with gracious. How can I, if they keep stuffing the guilt trip down my throat or as my Dad would "Priories George, Priorities". I haven't spoken to either of em since last Tuesday, (now that was a different reason), but still.

NEWS

Jonathan who is adopted died with suicide and took the lives of twins Paddy and Thomas in Charleville, Cork. He struggled mentally, when he encountered red tape constantly. It has now been revealed that a letter of which Jonathan was looking for arrived two days late saying that they will open up the file and give him what he seeks. He was looking for his birth family ie his brothers and or sisters and his Mom n Dad etc.,

Michael Brown's family has received a personal apology in the form of video apology. It has sparked even more protests etc., Michael was shot dead by a white Officer in Ferguson

Diary 23rd September 2014

PS This is an NSFW Post, ie NOT Sexual but of Self Harm content.

The day started off with a horrible dream. Which is as follows: Kathleen Doherty(Mulligan), whom I saw after several years last month, was hitting my head as in a HARD patting on the head. She later apologised but NOT profusely. Martin was hitting JP(Their son). I went onto Twitter(which is quite unusual as first, it ain't my usual ranting place and 2, the characters limit), to rant out. I was heart breaking, and crying as the same time. Even crying as I was writing tweet.

When I woke up eventually around 4ish for the dole, My sheets were wet, literally. Now how this particular dream came about more than likely was that my Dad's relatives were visiting them. I was invited up as was my sis. Now Jim(Dad's relative) knows I'm gay, I ain't sure about Jane(his wife), but this triggered the above dream. But as I explained to my sis later on today, I can't understand why I would wanna care whether Jane knows my sexuality or not. I wasn't sure of her attitude towards gay ppl or whatever. By right I shouldn't care.

So then I eventually got up from such a horrid nightmare, and set about getting my dole. I then headed into the bank to lodge the cash in. Then I went to tescos, to get milk for my sis' place. I provide my own milk. She drinks dairy. Whereas I don't. I got a few grub. I FINALLY got the blades, the yoke that are disposable. I kept forgetting to buy em.

I then showered, after a long spell of not having such. I did my bits and bobs - hahaha. I was using my new blades that are disposable. I nicked meself on my hand twice. Now while it WASN'T intentional, I have to admit, that I felt so good afterwards. While it was extremely painful, I was showering the blood off, and any blood that was left(which wasn't much), I just licked it off like Dracula(booohhahaahahah). Again it was extremely painful considering a layer of skin came off in two places on one hand.

On the way to Tescos, I then had seen Hate Crime from The Guest(Review here) and realsied what is the actual difference between Hate Crime AND Discrimination. From what I gather and understand, Hate Crime is relating to psychical and verbal, whereas Discrimination is in relation to the law and more so used in a company. Correct me if I'm wrong.

So then after the showering, I headed on off to my sis. I told her of the above ie the dream etc., When I was calling it out, I had on my phone, it read as follows: "I showered the boys off". Well the laugh I got off it. hahaah. It was something else alrite. I tell ya that bit. As she says, It certainly made me laugh. Something  I needed. heeheh. Then I suddenly realsied that by me skipping the visit of Jim and Jane, that sparked my depression a few years ago. I had moved in a few months ago in 2011. Then a few months(Oct 2011), I got into a deep state of depression over the homophobic abuse. And now it happened again today. What does that say. Could it be another depression coming along. Considering I did have thoughts of self harm alrite. I just had a few things on my mind. Partially financially. Because I didn't get up in time last Friday for Credit Union Gear Ireland sales event on Saturday then there was Lidls stuff I was to get on Monday(yesterday).



While cooking Pasta, I was wondering why it was taking an age to heat up let alone boil it. I just checked and actually had it at half the temperature for boiling. hahah.