I had decided not to go get up for either New Years Eve or New Years Day. Likewise I did on Christmas Day and Stephen's Day, as a result of my continuing pining for the relatives.
After my sleepless night I cudnt sleep O' Farrell rang me to arrange meetup of cinema. we were to see The Theory of Everything(Review here). We had a drink first then the movie. I was distraught after what Mark had done. He first said he was Noel Hughes. I kept repeating to myself we have a mole in the family tree. ie constantly bullying like Keith etc. Then when I looked at the number even closely I thought it was Chris from Kells. But I later learned when Chris himself had texted me saying he was NOT out for New Years Eve yet this other guy was. The reason Chris had texted me I was going through all the numbers I had saved etc that had no names n just wanted to find out who was who. I was literarely in floods of tears. Nearly having blades to meself. I later learned that he has some form of depression when I asked if he had a mental illness. So then I found out in the end that it was mark when I looked earlier in the convo that he attempted to ring me a few times. I was this close to putting the blades to myself. Like I said to myself while still in bed, right that's it, can't take any of this. So I set about to get ready to go to the bathroom when I got a text from an unknown name ie number with no name. I asked who's this. And he replied Noel. I said to him, that he has no idea how he has made me feel ie happy. It just take a few words or letters to get a person out of Self Harm. No question.
So i came home. Went to my sis' aid.
Showing posts with label mental illness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mental illness. Show all posts
Thursday, 1 January 2015
Sunday, 11 May 2014
Diary 11th May 2014
I got up without hesitation. Slightly on the groggy side, but nothing major to the report.
I was looking at the news. When I started to get the cramps and then the diarrhea that I have been having for the past few days due to possibly the Lactose Intolerance or perhaps the severe stress I was under in the dreams I was having the week gone past. So eitherway I made my way over my sis.
We were the whole night listening to a recording she had made while her Aunt(Nun) was visiting her. Some points of which I shall be making were quite disturbing to hear. Throughout the recording, I kept hearing the kettle going off. I had understood she was boiling the kettle and then getting a cuppa. But actually she was forgetting to get the cuppa tea. If found that hilarious. hahaah. My folks had expressed an interested in a grand child by my sis meeting someone no matter her gender. But the only problem is as I understand that anyone who has a Mental Illness or Disorder, their child may be taken off them. The person must have been psychiatric in the clear for a minimum of 10yrs. However that said, it is with great regret, that she won't' be able to bear a child because of the mental torture she has been receiving over the years. So its quite ironic to say alrite. Maureen on the recording states that the withdrawing from her life n dat of the folks too would help her in overcome the problems. This by far is the worse that I found disturbing. Considering we've been in their lives for 22 yrs almost. And to say good bye. Best wishes. I compare it to a relationship. The fact of the matter is that don't want to acknowledge any wrongdoing. It would actually be worse in my opinion.
Then towards the end of the recording, when she was going up the steps and going back in from the car(Mom had popped down to her while Maureen(Nun) was there) twas not bad an idea of hearing on the recording her footsteps, going up the steps, closing the main door, closing her own flat door etc.,.
So before I left, she asked which aspects did I find disturbing, and I said the above are the points I found quite distressing. In particular the aspect where Maureen was under the illusion to just say good bye and not hold accountable. Then before we dispersed I had mentioned to her that my friend Todd, had mentioned that I possibly got Hepatitis B via an STD aka a sexual assault in the orphanage. He has mentioned this in the past.
Now while also listening to the recording, I was at the same time trying to install Foursquare. As on my home screen, the icon that was on the homescreen was dimmed out as much to say that the Foursquare app is either not installed or the SD Card isn't mounted properly. I usually move the apps to the SD card. I restarted the phone to ensure the SD Card was mounted. Still failed to get it to work. So then I went into my App Drawer and it was still dim. So I was left baffling. This has happened in the past to other apps. I tried reinstalling via Play Store. Several attempts were made but failed all attempts. So I did a quick Google search. And I was recommended to uninstall the app, and try again. Of which I did. And eventually it got installed.
I was looking at the news. When I started to get the cramps and then the diarrhea that I have been having for the past few days due to possibly the Lactose Intolerance or perhaps the severe stress I was under in the dreams I was having the week gone past. So eitherway I made my way over my sis.
We were the whole night listening to a recording she had made while her Aunt(Nun) was visiting her. Some points of which I shall be making were quite disturbing to hear. Throughout the recording, I kept hearing the kettle going off. I had understood she was boiling the kettle and then getting a cuppa. But actually she was forgetting to get the cuppa tea. If found that hilarious. hahaah. My folks had expressed an interested in a grand child by my sis meeting someone no matter her gender. But the only problem is as I understand that anyone who has a Mental Illness or Disorder, their child may be taken off them. The person must have been psychiatric in the clear for a minimum of 10yrs. However that said, it is with great regret, that she won't' be able to bear a child because of the mental torture she has been receiving over the years. So its quite ironic to say alrite. Maureen on the recording states that the withdrawing from her life n dat of the folks too would help her in overcome the problems. This by far is the worse that I found disturbing. Considering we've been in their lives for 22 yrs almost. And to say good bye. Best wishes. I compare it to a relationship. The fact of the matter is that don't want to acknowledge any wrongdoing. It would actually be worse in my opinion.
Then towards the end of the recording, when she was going up the steps and going back in from the car(Mom had popped down to her while Maureen(Nun) was there) twas not bad an idea of hearing on the recording her footsteps, going up the steps, closing the main door, closing her own flat door etc.,.
So before I left, she asked which aspects did I find disturbing, and I said the above are the points I found quite distressing. In particular the aspect where Maureen was under the illusion to just say good bye and not hold accountable. Then before we dispersed I had mentioned to her that my friend Todd, had mentioned that I possibly got Hepatitis B via an STD aka a sexual assault in the orphanage. He has mentioned this in the past.
Now while also listening to the recording, I was at the same time trying to install Foursquare. As on my home screen, the icon that was on the homescreen was dimmed out as much to say that the Foursquare app is either not installed or the SD Card isn't mounted properly. I usually move the apps to the SD card. I restarted the phone to ensure the SD Card was mounted. Still failed to get it to work. So then I went into my App Drawer and it was still dim. So I was left baffling. This has happened in the past to other apps. I tried reinstalling via Play Store. Several attempts were made but failed all attempts. So I did a quick Google search. And I was recommended to uninstall the app, and try again. Of which I did. And eventually it got installed.
Sunday, 27 April 2014
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)