Diary 14th November 2015

Well what can I say, while it wasn't as bad as previous nights, it was just as bad, I was due to go and see the Zombie movie tonight and then bring Dad's bag up to him that he left shopping for me in and then onto the event at hand. However I realsied that I hadn't turned on the alarm, and as such I woke up at half 9, so I said I'd leave it. I was getting a bit nervous with this particular event at hand, don't know why thou considering there is no dress code of any form, other than you can' t go there naked like. BUt apart from that you can go in ur undies or in my case I would have gone in my Singlet.

So that said, it was regrettable that I didn't go as I had my nightmare. I've never cried in all my life as I have in the past few weeks now. My latest nightmare was whereby I was with my family: Mom, Dad and my sis in the house I grew up in. Mysteriously in the back garden, I see a tiger all covered in Oil(perhaps representing Veganism in my dream), then I see my nightmare coming through whereby my Sammy +Puppys Stanescu is wringing wet, hardly any stuffing etc., inside. I go upstairs in the toilet, and shout down to my sis, don't she want to keep HER puppys, and shockingly NO in a calm voice. I ran into my old bedroom to ensure what I saw WASN'T what I had hoped, and low and behold, my dear sweetie had fallen victim to such vandalism or whatever. So in a distress mental state, that my trousers and undies are half way down, and obviously my top is still on. Now I'm sitting against my Mom's statue in such a state. my sis and Mom are cooking dinner, my Dad in the garden, and my sis asks "what did you say you wanted: sauce or nuts", Something like that. I didn't care about my dignity enough to pull up my trousers. When my sis asks the question I break down. She comes out to me worryingly.

So with the above, one begins to wonder why are my dreams escalating. Like to my darlings +Puppys Stanescu , then my veganism etc., etc., So I began to wonder that my dreams escalated worse could it be that a loved one has died??? Like the quote from Pan :"How can you love someone you've never met"