Diary 6th January 2016 - Feast of the Epiphany(Three Wise Men visited Jesus in the Manger); Women's Christmas

Little humour to start off the blog, hahaha, as I was writing the above Blog title, literally, I got a fit of the giggles. I recalled a quote from Mrs. Brown's Boys Christmas Special '14. Mrs. Brown herself says:

"Wise!!!They got fucken lost", what a class quote from her shows.

The Feast of the Epiphany aswell as being a religious aspect is actually also a day for the women, ie Women's Christmas or in Irish Nollaig na mBán. You may also hear down through your travels Nollaig Beag which means Little Christmas. Women's Christmas was actually started in Co. Cork and continens to be an Irish Tradition.

And now back onto me, hheheeheh,

I struggled along to get out of bed for Social welfare, sure who would. hahaha. But that said thou I was saying to meself, could I try tomorrow Thurs, but NO cause Dad wants my sis n I for the decorations to yank your chain down, hahha, Friday assuming he wants me at least back on Friday for the outside lights, ehhehehe so that would be a no no. I said I have to get up for the sake of the payments and more so my bank. Like at the time of writing I was €189 in DR aka DR. So I proceeded to go on in and then head to see Social Welfare. I'd prefer if I didn't but hey, nothing can be done. Besides my legs were killing me going in let alone going out. The guy then told me everything's in order. TO come back for the final time. He proceeded to give me an envelope and went to post it. I said that I wasn't ready for it. I've to get details as in Checklists ie I was to get my statements from the Bank and the Credit Union. So he told me come back with everything next week. I then asked, do I have to come in everyweek, like and he said it'll be put into the Post Office. So he told me come back with everything and that he'll post my DA for me. When he asked that I sign the checks ie the payments, he noted I was a leftie. heheheh. He also noted to me that If I had come back  a  day late that I would missed a payment. He was the exact same guy who clearly is gay who upset me the day I broke in front of the family. Hence why I have a +Furry Babys Stanescu called Kathleen as my mom cried into my arms comforting me. 

I then proceeded to head to the bank AIB to lodge my checks in. Still worrying thou no cash will go in, but nothing can be done thou. However at the same time I went in to get my statements for the Disability Allowance. Apparently it'll cost me €3 per page for them to send it out to me. Which is quiet bizarre. So I went to the machine however I tried it but it just gave me ONE page, so I'll try with my NEW card and pin. 

Then I went to the Credit Union for again to get Statements from the savings account I have. Only realised that the loan had been payed off in November a week before social welfare were going on about on my case. Hmmm.

So then I came back and decided to head back to sleep. Then while sleeping a memory came back of whereby I was l listing of all the home alone movies I have. Home alone 3 I was studying it r whatever I had watched it when I came back from a boat trip on the StenaHSS. We went over to Holyhead, Wales,UK. In a cold wet Nov. We looked around. I bought r whoever a PC Game on a Floppy disk 💾 god b the days. It was a Christmas 🎅 quiz game 🎮   there was a question about Wet wet wet a music band.

I then woke up for a few hours to do the last two Home Alone films. heheehh

Then just as I wake up I gave myself a horrible trigger point whereby when I recalled Social Welfare upsetting me on Wed 23rd and Mom comforting me. Then in the thought, I rush out wanting to cry further, however Dad being obsessed with his Christmas Lights Bulbs, warns me not to step on the ligts as at the time in reality my sis and my Dad were doing up the lights when Mom n I came back. I accidentally or whatever step on one of them. Then Dad gets angry and I squabble up or crumble to a pancake kinda shape ie embryo more so. I scream "get away from me". He then opens up and says come I want to hug you. So I in my infinite wisdom, actually go up and get hugged, however he continues to squeeze me rendering me breathless and then breaks my spinal chord in half. And then throws away my body like a rag doll down the bottom of the garden. My sis and Mom witness this and exclaim to the Emergency Services that "I have witnessed an actual murder". Remember "A life is NOT replaceable whereas , Christmas Light Bulb IS replaceable". So then I was putting on my Onesie, and I grabbed my sleeve and had at it and of course my arm while I was in teh toilet too. I was describing I use sleeves more so than arms. The arm is for private self harm or where no one is looking and the sleeve is ONLY for those who don't judge me ie my sis. 

Diary 25th December 2015 Christmas Day

Diary 25th December 2015 - Christmas Day

Well after a horrible night of lack of sleep consistently. several thoughts of which some included my sis of which I won't go into details. On my part thou was that my thought was my mother telling  to fuck off out of her life kinda thing. This continued on for the night.

Then I was due to get up for mass for the very first time since I came out. However it wasn't to be. hahahaha.

So then it was time for my ritual self harm, nothing new. Then I headed on out to meet Dad n my sis for to head up for the annual Christmas Dinner. We then sat down for dinner. I wasn't too impressed with the dinner. The dessert mmmmmmmmmm was lovely. I brought the Christmas Cake AND the Red Velvet Cake. I got this exact cake in aid of Marriage Equality, last April when my sis and Mom were celebrating Maureen's birthday. So we then looked at Mrs Brown's Boys: The Christmas Special. Twas hilarious.

I then came back. It was my intention to stay up like I would on a Sunday Night, however it wasn't to be. hahahah. This was because I actually grew tired from all the going around my babies. +Puppys Stanescu and +Inflatables Stanescu I'll explain.

When I got back, it was my intention to do a Christmas Message from Puppys and Inflatables. To do this, I had to first find em, which was by means pretty quick, heeheh, but then on the video, I showed my viewers each Puppy etc., likewise the Inflatables. Some inflatables thou had to be blown up thou again. Hence my tiredness. So I just hit the hay. Then after the video, I took pics of my puppys as well, just before I went to bed. I was too tired to take pics of my beloved babes Inflatables.

Diary 23rd December 2015

Diary 23rd December 2015

Well today started off with a disappointment. Again I couldn't get out of bed. Me thinks its because I'm surviving on Green Tea. and of course Chrisps, which is shortly on their way out too.

So that said I got up slightly later than anticipated. I then headed to meet Edmund for some bizarre reason I kept calling him Edward. I even put it on the card. Like wtf, like, or as the American's puts it "ikr(I know right)", hahaahah. So that said I then headed on off to meet him. It was slightly later than anticipated. I first went to AIB to withdraw cash. However the machine said "Unavailable", so I checked to ensure its not the wrong card. I went inside to try and figure out what up. Then afterwards, I was assured its the right card. So I went to the teller to withdraw. Then I went to meet Edmund eventually. hahaaha. When I arrived another guy Ruairí was there. I never met him. So Edmund then said that he had to go for an event of "Anti-Christmas", of which I took serious. Like I would imagine there are people against it. Like Atheists, for Meat reasons and animals etc., etc.,

So then I headed on back home. On the way, I wanted to get vegan dinner for myself for Christmas Day, however it wasn't to be. I wanted to get stamps of trying to post two cards I left behind, in Ireland. Then I realised that I had the stamps with me all the time. But not the cards. I then came back home.

I was watching a few TV shows, then I headed on back out to first the Outhouse. I had planned on going to the Down to the Earth to see if I could get more Vegan Dinner food. As time was NOT on my side, I then headed to the Outhouse to deliver MORE cards. ahahha. I left them with Jamie. I chatted for a bit. heheheh. I then headed onto meet Todd for to see Star Wars. heheheh. Twas a pleasure seeing him again after all this time. I was disheartened to learn thou that he has been suffering depression as a result of his mother a few years ago, when he was back in Irl and she was over there, ie the US, that he couldn't be with her. Something to that effect. So then I told him of my diagnosis. etc., I ain't sure if its official thou. He brought up a soar spot of which was by no means his intention. How was he know. So I did a bit of self harm in the cinema toilets, the biting of rubber type and I saw something unusual so then I continuing having at it. Then after the film, I headed with him to his place.

I was lookinh aty my emails, sure whats' new. hahahaah. I then came across a very interesitng article whereby it was desceribing an art Technostaglia whereby it'd releave our wonderous Dial-Up days, theren there was the ENcarta. God be the day, I'd go every week over the Dial-Up update Encarta on a Friday ngiht while looking at the Late Late or whatever with Mom n Dad. My Dad or Mom would wanna get the phone however it'd take it up the Internet. hahaha. Ahhh mememories.

http://mashable.com/2012/09/10/tech-nostalgia/#gallery/technostalgia/53deb7dc97b2f8440800a52d

Diary 20th December 2015

Today was quite a day, hahahah. As part of my usual self harm routine, I this time, went atop the old wound in the middle of the M. Throughout the day, it started paining me like a bitch.

So then afterwards, my sis came down for her weekly downloading. heheheeh. We had a great laugh. While she was downloading, I was putting up the Christmas lights for the outside. hahahaha. Twas most enjoyable. I was ecstatic today unlike last night. I was feeling crap. Then when I saw Sister Sister, I began to feel happy etc., Then afterwards, I then realsied that with the help of my sis, that I'll be able to afford cash for tomorrow's meeting at the very least Seamus. I hope to meet Seamus tomoz. So with the help of my sis I only realsied that IB(Injury Benefit) - as I was only paid a one week payment, will be paid into my bank account, I'll withdraw that for myself, as SWA(Supplemental Welfare Allowance) will be lodged in during the week as part of the check, I received last week for the TWO week, including Christmas Week. And that payment will pay for my Rent for two weeks. So yeah, As Father Jack says: "I'm a happy camper", haahaha.

So then we both headed on. We got takeouts, then afterwards onto her place. I was looking at the Annual Bumper issue of the RTE Guide, in which it has TV listings etc., for the Christmas period. I was marking off stuff I wanted to record. Then afterwards, there was a quiz in the magazine, in which I was testing my sis. We had a ball. I went extactic when I got two questions right in the quiz.
Following are the two questions that I went exstatcit over:

• Which country won this year's 60th Eurovision Song Contest. My sis said Russia and I said Sweden
• This year's Rose of Tralee represented which Irish county. My sis said Wicklow and I said Meath. 

My sis googled the above two questions and everytime she showed a face. I just went excastatic my slapping the magazine on my head. As my baby Dane DeHanne who played Harry Osborne in Amazing Spiderman 2: "I don't know how, I don't why". I most certainly NOT gloating. Like saying Oh you're a looser or whatever. NOT my style. I just overreacted, I don't know why. But one things for sure, I just got excited. hahah. 

Then I headed back to my place. And would you believe it, I put the snowman in the Bathroom window. hahaha. Of course I left up the blind. Like who wants to see a guy taking a leak or taking a dump. hahaahah. I wanted to keep up  the idea of having ALL windows be advertised. I guess what am I trying to say, that I've never decorated my bathroom, which ain't the done thing, as far as my folks are concerned. So I just put up my Snowman in the Bathroom and checked if the public on the street can see off the streets, however it wasn't to be. That said thou, that the tenants beside me can see it when they pass my place all the time. hahaah.

Diary 20th December 2015

Diary 19th December 2015

Today didn't pan out the way I had hoped.

I was due to go into NARA(National Animal Rights Assocaition) leaflet handing of Christmas REcipes IDeas in St. Stpehen's Green. However it wasn't to be as the Alram never went off the time I wnated.So I saw the time being 13.42, I said that's far too late. We were to meet at 1 and then they disperse. So yeah by the time I would have got in, I'd be lost.

My next plan was to go to Vegan Infomation Table in Westmoreland St., So that liekt he above reason didn't pan out either.

Then the next plan was to meetup with Edmund, EVelyne and Glo aka Vegan Ireland at their usual stand, however that wasn't to be.

So I then with all the above plans collapsing, I decided against getting stamps for teh Irish cards.

So then I slept on, had a hurrendous dream where my favorite character in Ros na Rún Séamus Mhicil Tom who is played by Diarmaid Mac An Adhaistiar gets killed with heating floors. I'm in a room, and the floor is over heating. I see someone noticing the bump on one of the floor tiles. So I see teh character. I shed several tears for him. Diarmaid himself thou passed on recenetly in July of this year. ANd for this year's Christmas episodes, Ros na Rún will be laying Seamus to rest ie writeing him out of the series.

My sis called down with Mom, to hand me a takeout. heheeh.

So with that in mind, I eventually got up after such a horrendous dream as I said, then I did more self harming in the means of scraping the OTHER side of the letter 'M' I scraped on.

So then I got up and I got ready for the PLAN of the night. hahahaah. I was to meet Eoin and the gang for to see Star Wars: The Force Awakens(Episode VII). Although before hand I was to go to the Outhouse to go and see if I can see Joyce to hand her her card. However I had gotten Joyce and Severn mixed up, which was a shame, as I couldn't give Severn his card. He was totally embarrassed thou, god love him thou. So then getting back to Star Wars, I was gonna go to Down to Earth, however it wasn't to be as time wouldn't be on my side. heheeh. I then headed to meet the gang. Then we all headed on up to the most aniticapted movie in the unvierse. heehehe

Diary 19th December 2015

Diary 18th December 2015

Diary 18th December 2015

Today was not bad a day. Although the day started off with me doing a bit more self harm, obviously not as severe thou as the recent events. However firstly it all started when I went to take a leak heheeh then I saw that as I had eaten bacon(I think) that I could not live with the guilt. However I had throughout the day yesterday felt crap etc., and continued on the night etc., I just had to release my emotions somewhere.

So after a horrendous start, I then got ready and dressed. Then I was to head up to Mom n Dad's to go and give them their presents. It was lovely. heheheh.
x
Then I continued on to meet Barry, however on the way, I learned it wasn't to be. As he had only come home late if I recall. So then moving on, on the way to the OUthouse, there was a car ie a Taxi to be precise. THere must have been a  deb or some forme of party or even a hen. or wathever. But the poitn being is that the car was forawrding etc., adn stop etc.,e tc., So the taxi driver was stopping the car, and srtaing ie costing it as if the car was in a beating music kinda. I said to them AFTER I apssed them, WEIRDOS, haahahah. At least the taxi. jhahahahah. I headed to the Outhouse. ehehhe. My main aim was to give out more cards. When I arrived, there was great buzz. I was overwhelmed. Yesterday was very emotional for me, hence the self harm above, that said I was delighted with today's events. ehehehe. When I arrived, I was wanting to write cards, and realised that I had left my cards n behind. At first I thought I left them in Mom and Dad's but no. So I quickly left to go and look for em. I was Penny's NO, I was in EuroGiant, NO - although I did get a Christmas Tree(3 ft high - awwww). I was in Aldi's and when I went to pay, for my cards and the convery belt started to act up. Possibly teh salesperson was leaving the foot on the pedal. I ain't sure. hehehe. So I said to her that it probbably is a Software issue. hahaha. I then headed back to the Outhouse. Whereby I enjoyed further laughs and talks. Michel who also is patron or whatever. He thought I had left for to go upstairs to Men's Night. When I arrived, Patrick and a group were in the Cafe. I asked has Men's night moved AGAIN hahaahah. Patrick said they've split. heeheh. I took that as serious to the point I thought all the night that Men's night was JUST men's night down in the cafe. However when I asked if Bernard is around they told me they's upstairs, whoopise. heheheeh. I then went upstairs, and wow theys' there are. ahahaha. Was great seeing them all. hahaah.

So then we all were kicked out. hahaha and then afterwards, relaised my grey scarfy has gone missing - ohhhh no!!!!(Character from Family Guy - the Jewish guy). I looked in the Outhouse, rang Mom n Dad AGAIN!!!!! haahah, no not their. As Homer Simpsons says "Oh, Scarfy, where art thou!

On the way home, I wanted to get pics of teh Star Wars themed Dublin Spire. heeheh

Diary 17th December 2015 - Dad's Birthday

Today wasn't too bad. Although it was by no mean any better, but at least its something.

My day started off with my heart outta me mouth literally. Like the Sabrina epsidoe whereby she has a Secret Admirer, and her heart is literally beating OUTSIDE her body, (now oblivious not the real heart - ahaha, that would be just grotesque. )

Anyways moving on as one would say, Mom collected me. I had checked my post. I received three letters. One from Social Welfare, the other two from friends for ie Christmas Cards., So I opened the Social Welfare, and it stated that I had not signed as per required. So then I opened the other two. I had received scratch cards. Then I scratched them and was shocked that I had won €25. Cause the last time I won so high was when I had gotten a scratch card from Colette.

So then onwards, and upwards, we headed onto Social Welfare. Today's idea was to get a more clear idea. I was deeply disheartened when Mom was told to get out three times., I felt for her. Me heart was higher in me mouth as per above description.

So then afterwards Mom drove me back to her place. I helped Dad briefly with the lights in the garden. Then I headed on back to my place.

I got myself ready for the evening in terms of putting on my Christmas Undies and Jumper on. I couldn't find the undies. So I put on others I bought in Aldis on Sunday. I then headed onto Store St., seeing as I said above, that I forgot to sign my signature. Then I went onto Aldis to get more cards. Then I finally arrived at the Outhouse. I was due to be at the Christmas Party between 4-6. However that said, the fact that I arrived slightly late, at least I had seen others, so I wrote my cards and handed em out. eheheh. Then I was advised that I go and get a secretary. hahaahah. In fact Patrick had reminded us that the politicians ' Secretary used to send us Christmas Cards. hahaahha. So then James who also their, was also telling me how Windows 10 had failed him when he went to upgrade. So for waht ever reason I was trying to comapre that he hates Microsoft, whiel I hate Social Welafre. He was most appolgoetic for the way he went on about Windows 10. I kinda understood what the acutal issue was. Something about Widnows 10 not accpeting his backups or whatever. So I offered him how about he go and download Recuva to go and attmept to recover the files. etc., So I shall also offer him Ubuntu in terms of attmepting to access his files as well. Searson was also their. Was great to see him. He wanted to see my self harm cuts. WHen I went to take my jumper off as I was getting warm, I several times attmepted to hide my self harm. THat said, I also didn't care. So it all depends ont eh person.

Diary 17th December 2015 Dad's Birthday

Diary 15th December 2015

Diary 15th December 2015

Today was not bad a day. Nothing outta the blue occurred. hahahaah.

It all started when Maudy rang my doorbell heavily. So I went back to bed. Then I got up eventually. I had a doctor's appointment for the doctor to fill out a form that is one of the requirements of the Supplemental Welfare Allowance.

So then onwards and upwards to collect my rent allowance of which was Double Pay and then I headed onto to the bank to lodge money for the bills. I then continued onwards to hand in my Certificate to Store St., I then headed onto home to get ready for my sis tonight.

I was looking for various items. heeheh. Then on the way to my sis, I went to get pressies for Colette, and my Dad for his birthday AND for Christmas too. Then I headed onto her place to wrap up the pressies AND at the time had hoped to Address the envelopes. However it wasn't too be as last night, I had created a Report in my Access contacts database and exported that into a PDF and saved it on OneDrive. However even that didn't work, as it would not show up on my phone. So that was a bummer.

I was watching IrelandAM on my TV. They are currently have a competition of whereby the viewers have to guess "What's In The Box", in the lead up to Christmas. The presenters give out clues on the hour of the show. Today's clue's so far is as follows: Sir Walter Ralaeigh introduced this, into Ireland. The second clue was that They are categorised as Queens, Records and the Rooster are all varieties of what Vegetables. and the final clue of the competition:  This veg is more fondly known as The "Spud" in Ireland. Now I thought Sir Walter Raleigh introduced the Tobacco in Cigarettes. Well who knew about the spud, hahaahha. of course the answer is Potato.

While going through my blogs I subscribe to, one Blog post was of interest that brought great memories of my Cell Phones usage. heehhe. It was based on what PRE-Android phones ie NON-smartphones. My very first phone was a Panasonic GD35. I remember I didn't want a mobile phone at all. heheeheh. However Mom n Dad insisted if they wanted me for anything. I got it for my State Examinations aka Leaving Cert year. I remember that I was actually wanting the phone so that I could text. I would only get the numbers of guys I found cute. ehehhe. Now obviously I wasn't out or anything. But hey. I even went as far if they know how to text instead of calling. Then I also remember that I had only gotten Nokia 3510i, which was a color screen. I remember walking home from some place late at night, I had the phone on display. I held it so tight. I had only finished a class of the ECDL. I really adored this one very much, til it got stolen. So I bought another one. Even that went down a manhole. I was working for a company Noel Hughe's company - my relative I see on a monthly basis. heheeh. , ahahah. Another one got stolen. I then got myself a Nokia 7310, something like that. This one was not bad. It was a very highend one. My former friend Noel Kenny, recommended it. I remember that when I was looking up specs, that a USB is was a vital thing where I wanted to connect to the computer.

Diary 13th December 2015

Well today was fairly quiet. Nothing major to report.

I was with my sis for most of the day. I had gotten up for my sis and more so fairly early for to get my Christmas Undies in Aldis in East Wall. So that said I also got pressies too. So then I came back to my sis in my place. I went to put up decorations ie the lights too. eheheheh. Then shortly afterwards, I got severe back pain sharp pain. So I was literally crippled for a few hrs. My sis when we got to her place, offered me Ibuprofen. I just had to take her up on the offer. I then told her that there;s a very strong possibility that I had slept walk. As I had old pillows atop Oneie my +Inflatables Stanescu . Now the weight of the pillows made it impossible for Oneie to start floating around or to be even budged. Yet when I woke up, there he was at the end of the bed, as much as to say that I had pushed it. It also was a contributory factor to my back pain I mean the potential sleep walk. Then we walked to her place, stopping in Tescos on the way. On the way, we bumped into Brendan who used to work as barman in Kennedy's, whcih I think he still is there. I just ain't. hahaha. Then onwards, we then looked at comedy, heheeheh. While doing so, I got another memory back. In this instance, I had bought my sis a doggie. She calls it Geoffrey. Both my sis n I were in town at the Annual Christmas Stalls in Henry St., when I bought it for her. Its also the same day, when I also asked Dad for MY savings aka €1000 at the time with him, He kept asking me "No Mom, I want him to tell me", and his growing voice tone was nerving me, So I remember telling everyone, I'm not gonna bother ie ruining the day for my sis more so. So then I remember Mom had a word with Dad  and he gave in in the end, thereby allowing me to get my €400 gadget which was an Archos media device something like that. Then when my sis n I came home, the amount of crap that came out of Dad's mouth when I told him the price in front of the Kelly's(The neighbors).

Diary 13th December 2015

Krampus

Not bad a movie. You will most certainly be entertained with Conchata Farrell's comic action like one line was fantastic. "I haven't been this hungover since the Pope died",. We all got a great laugh from this. She bring's her Two and A Half Men character onto the big screen. The genre of the movie is Horror/Comedy. The visual effects wowwww, but more importantly, the plot was quite simple to follow.

The plot being as I said above, was that a young boy wishes the OPPOSITE of wishes. In that mayhem ensues when Max's family tree comes, ie the Aunts, Uncles, Cousins etc., So in a fit, he rips up Santa's letter and throws into the sky, hence where Krampus comes and causes mayhem. IN the end, it is found that Max receives a Bauble with Krampus on it. We all thought it was a dream, however when its realised that it wasn't, who knew. Something tells me a SEQUEL might be on the cards.

Krampus

Diary 10th December 2015

Today not bad a day, by means of being business. hahaha.

I went into Social Welfare(my new home - hahahah) to get them to write me a letter as part of a requirement for Application of Supplemental Welfare. While waiting around, My number was 144. I noted Desk 29(Information Desk) was at 128 and says I to meself, on my ticket it said that I was Number 9 in the queue. And says I to mself hmmm, 9 + 128  does NOT equal 144. More so about 14 or whatever. Then I looked the other side of the pillar and noted 135 was the ticket number,  I then said ahh yeah that's more like it. hahaah. I then continued to wait around. Not a budge out of the two of Desks. So eventually Desk 28(the one with 135), got moving on up with numbers. Then when 128 was finished, they closed up completely. There was a guy at 135 and he finished his business there, but when the next number was about to be called he went up instead. He was required to fill out a form or whatever. Afterwards, I saw the guy leaving in a huff saying: "fill out another form; me bollicks". So then eventually it was my turn, by golly was he so cute. Like wow. He wore a pollar tshirt and whatever trousers of which I wasn't able to see. I was jstu drawn to his eyes(awwwwww). Then we got down to business(now, now, hahaha). I asked for teh said letter, and he asked why I took a while looking for a job, and still am. I told him that I have Mental Health difficultys. So we left it at that.

I came back home, and looked at TV, while doing so I was cleaning up rubbish, and then I started the decorations.

So then I set off again on my merry way. This time to meet Andrea for to see Victor Frankenstein(Review here). Beforehand thou, I paid a visit to Lidl, Tescos, all to see if there's anything I can find for to go to have for Christmas Dinner. and MORE so DESSERT. mmmm like Mince Pies, Cake etc., etc.,Then onto Pennys to get a Christmas Jumper and Undies. mmmm. and of course some Star Wars merchandise.