Well what a day its been today. Qutie an interesting day. I woke up around half 11(after 16hrs in hibernation sleep). It was one of the best sleeps I've ever had for the last few months. I showered. Then had a brekkie. I decided to look at yesterdays News Bulletins, As I was asleep for half the day yesterday.
I then headed off to get my State Benefirst. I usually do a few things in the Post Office(Where i Collect my benefirst). I put money into my savings account, get TV Licence Stamps, and transfer majority of the benefits to my bank account for the bills. HOwever as my card wasn't working they would let me.
So I had to go across the road to the bank to try and find out what's going on. First I played dumb, and just asked the clerk to lodge money in, cause I need it for the bills. Then the clerk told me that the card had been disabled as I previously had reported it lost. However the card I was using was actually the one that I had previously found. THe new card that came in recent months, I had lost. Bottom line is, the clerk told me to order a new card which I did via a telephone system. So now the card that I have now, will have to be destroyed.
So onwards up to collect my bike to head off to the folks to leave change for them in an envelope. Mom last week had gotten me a takeaway this day last week. I popped the envelope into the post box.
I headed up to my bike shop I bought the bike in, as my lock was giving me trouble in terms of locking and unlocking. I had told em, I had poured buckets of oil in it, and still nothing. It was found eventually, that it was from lack of oil from the beginning.
So then headed up to see me sis. I had a letter to hand to her. As it stated(from what I can see), it said something about an invite. So I said I'd drop it up to her just in case it might be too late to drop it to her when I see her on THursday. Twas enjoyable as per normal. She had a surprise visit from her Aunt(The holy one). The words that come outta dat woman is just unreal. Like telling her that you don't have depression or something like that, but one thing that went right through me: "You're psychotic". LIke seriously do you actually say that to a person. I told my Ma, and my Aunt, that words is poisonous". WE both headed to her local chemist and grocery. Then I proceeded to head home in the cold, rain.
I started to sort out the clothes in my appt. To show a bit of shape in it.
Tuesday, 4 February 2014
Monday, 3 February 2014
Diary 3rd February 2014
Well what an interesting day it has been so far. Thats only 1500hrs like.
I stayed up or as I said I pulled an all nighter like every Monday night for fear I'll b late for the App for my sphyscopheratist. WE chatted like as normal. He was trying convince me to say that having just a yes or no is a very UNHEALTHY item. And another item he brought up was if me pops was against my sexuality that my depression wouldnt go away until I move to the States. Simply put, I stated the following to him: "If my Dad doesn't go towards me: sexuality wise; my depression won't go away for good until I move to the States. " He found this dis heartwarming. My attitude towards him was of complex and confuse method today. I was trying to say: if anyone is agaisnt my sexuailtiy why hang out wit da person. That said, I did say that my parents are like a "magnet", in that if I attempt to block em, they come banging on da door, ie they DON'T take NO for answer. I attempted to tell him this. I even gave him an example of the magnetism. Whereby I had blocked my Aunty, my parents for a few months. NEver seen them in that time frame. But still they wanted to see me. They'd bang at the door, windows, ring me several times, voicemails etc., Not giving a damn about my mental health. It is of my illusion that they need to be educated BADLY. I mean seriously. LIke my mother told me sis that she deserved to be raped, like I don't care whether she had drugs or alcohol or whatever. EVen if she was nude(which obv wasn't da case); NO ONE DESERVES TO BE RAPED. Yet me ma had da bigotry to say me sis deserved to be raped. like WTF. Anyways I'm getting off topic, so back to the psychotherapist; just to shut him up, I had to agree. Cause hes not gonna let go, maybe next week. U never know. Thank god I have me scarfs. AWWWWWW SCARFIES. THey's my life. It is my perception that ill keep a somewhat relationship wit da folks.
But my basic fundamental idea is very simple: Anyone(Literally meaning ANYONE), who is against Marriage Equality, or gay rights or gays or any member of the LGBT or whatever AIN'T NO FRIEND of mine or whatever u wanna call. NO CONTACT WILL BE MAINTAINED. I may be a "black or white" person. But thats' just the way life is. Others can have a "Grey" area in their decision makings. For me as I'm a simple guy like I don't even know how to have sex with a guy, like how pathetic is that. I was advised by a gud friend of mine here in Dublin, to just simply go with the flow, like WTH is that spoz to mean. All I do is just copy a guy. So if a guy grabs my ass I do likewise or kisses me or whatever, I do exactly the same thing.
So then after the appt(like I said INTERESTING), I was suppose to meet my sister(she was attending her apt), for a cuppa tea before I go to sleep. However I got a call from my Mom, to call up to them(well because of the weather, someone would collect me after my appt. All I said after the phonecall was one word. "Fuck". I really wanted a cuppa wit me sis, however that wasnt to be. As it happened, she was required to stay an extra hour. So with me scared outta me wits, I headed out to me Dad's car(PS The phonecall came in BEFORE the apt). As I have been having trouble with my bike lock, I decided to walk to my apt as i was gonna be late than normal. I walked up in the wind n da rain to both the apt and after to my Dad's car, as he had just arrived when I was walking out of the building. So he brought me up to his place. Mom explained Dad wanted a few jobs to be helped with. After a cuppa tea and toast we got down to business. We first snagged the potatoes(taking routs off the potatoes and cleaning em). WHile doing this, he was trying to get my opinion on what had happened yesterday. Namely the protest. He expressed his views, that Rory O'Neill Neill the person at the center of the whole controversy, shouldn't have named names. So armed with this information, all that was going through my head, to ask him what were his thoughts on my sexualltiy as previosuly asked. I personally agree with Rory O' Neill's comments in that to NAME and SHAME those who have done us wrong. So with that I just couldn't wait to get outta there. So my final question to all HOMOPHOBES who done me wrong will be: If they'll b voting yes r no in the Referendum of 2015(However as its a private thing, I mightend be so lucky - but nevertheless I'll try.
So with that I came home to finish off a few things on the computer and headed to sleep til tomorrow morning.
I stayed up or as I said I pulled an all nighter like every Monday night for fear I'll b late for the App for my sphyscopheratist. WE chatted like as normal. He was trying convince me to say that having just a yes or no is a very UNHEALTHY item. And another item he brought up was if me pops was against my sexuality that my depression wouldnt go away until I move to the States. Simply put, I stated the following to him: "If my Dad doesn't go towards me: sexuality wise; my depression won't go away for good until I move to the States. " He found this dis heartwarming. My attitude towards him was of complex and confuse method today. I was trying to say: if anyone is agaisnt my sexuailtiy why hang out wit da person. That said, I did say that my parents are like a "magnet", in that if I attempt to block em, they come banging on da door, ie they DON'T take NO for answer. I attempted to tell him this. I even gave him an example of the magnetism. Whereby I had blocked my Aunty, my parents for a few months. NEver seen them in that time frame. But still they wanted to see me. They'd bang at the door, windows, ring me several times, voicemails etc., Not giving a damn about my mental health. It is of my illusion that they need to be educated BADLY. I mean seriously. LIke my mother told me sis that she deserved to be raped, like I don't care whether she had drugs or alcohol or whatever. EVen if she was nude(which obv wasn't da case); NO ONE DESERVES TO BE RAPED. Yet me ma had da bigotry to say me sis deserved to be raped. like WTF. Anyways I'm getting off topic, so back to the psychotherapist; just to shut him up, I had to agree. Cause hes not gonna let go, maybe next week. U never know. Thank god I have me scarfs. AWWWWWW SCARFIES. THey's my life. It is my perception that ill keep a somewhat relationship wit da folks.
But my basic fundamental idea is very simple: Anyone(Literally meaning ANYONE), who is against Marriage Equality, or gay rights or gays or any member of the LGBT or whatever AIN'T NO FRIEND of mine or whatever u wanna call. NO CONTACT WILL BE MAINTAINED. I may be a "black or white" person. But thats' just the way life is. Others can have a "Grey" area in their decision makings. For me as I'm a simple guy like I don't even know how to have sex with a guy, like how pathetic is that. I was advised by a gud friend of mine here in Dublin, to just simply go with the flow, like WTH is that spoz to mean. All I do is just copy a guy. So if a guy grabs my ass I do likewise or kisses me or whatever, I do exactly the same thing.
So then after the appt(like I said INTERESTING), I was suppose to meet my sister(she was attending her apt), for a cuppa tea before I go to sleep. However I got a call from my Mom, to call up to them(well because of the weather, someone would collect me after my appt. All I said after the phonecall was one word. "Fuck". I really wanted a cuppa wit me sis, however that wasnt to be. As it happened, she was required to stay an extra hour. So with me scared outta me wits, I headed out to me Dad's car(PS The phonecall came in BEFORE the apt). As I have been having trouble with my bike lock, I decided to walk to my apt as i was gonna be late than normal. I walked up in the wind n da rain to both the apt and after to my Dad's car, as he had just arrived when I was walking out of the building. So he brought me up to his place. Mom explained Dad wanted a few jobs to be helped with. After a cuppa tea and toast we got down to business. We first snagged the potatoes(taking routs off the potatoes and cleaning em). WHile doing this, he was trying to get my opinion on what had happened yesterday. Namely the protest. He expressed his views, that Rory O'Neill Neill the person at the center of the whole controversy, shouldn't have named names. So armed with this information, all that was going through my head, to ask him what were his thoughts on my sexualltiy as previosuly asked. I personally agree with Rory O' Neill's comments in that to NAME and SHAME those who have done us wrong. So with that I just couldn't wait to get outta there. So my final question to all HOMOPHOBES who done me wrong will be: If they'll b voting yes r no in the Referendum of 2015(However as its a private thing, I mightend be so lucky - but nevertheless I'll try.
So with that I came home to finish off a few things on the computer and headed to sleep til tomorrow morning.
Sunday, 2 February 2014
Liz McCartney - As I Am (The Big Gay Musical).avi
TO ALL MY HOMOPHOBES AND ALL OF YEE OUT THERE: Stop telling lies. And look at this
"It was Written by MAN"
"It was interpreted by MAN"
"It was abused by Man"
"I never told People to hurt and Kill"
AND MOST IMPORTANT
"I told everyone to LOVE"
"It was Written by MAN"
"It was interpreted by MAN"
"It was abused by Man"
"I never told People to hurt and Kill"
AND MOST IMPORTANT
"I told everyone to LOVE"
Diary 2nd February 2014
I had stayed on in bed, yesterday instead of getting up around 9. I was so upset what was happening to me sis. I had very weird dreams(Of which I cannot remember)
I went along to a protest in which spells out that we LGBT people will not be silenced. Our State Broadcast silenced one of the LGBT ppl: MIss Panti(Firstly my Inspiration; and secondly she does her drag shows in Panti Bar). Saturday Night Show host interviewed Rory O' Neill(Panti out of drag). He named a few homophobes etc., This obv upset a few people. Personally I agree with him. SInce then Ireland has gone major in this topic "Homophobia". At the protest The Guest speakers were as follows
Caroline Early (LGBT Noise)
.....
Senator David Norris
David Carroll BeLong TO CEO
Max Krzyzanowski(Action for Russia)
In the words of Senator David Norris. "We were silence for 2000 years", We gonna kick ppl up da arse.
Ma came down to me to want me to come out with her. I obv refused. So she questioned me relating to my sis' behaviour. I explained that words are poisonous. She is udner the illusion of ""Simply move on". I went on to say how can anyone, move on from the Crhsitmas Day debacle like the Christmas Day debacle as I like to call it. I should rename it to Christmas Day Massacre. I think that actually occured in US.
LGBT Noise: http://lgbtnoise.ie/
ACtion for Russia Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/ActionForRussia/
BeLongTo: http://www.belongto.org/
I went along to a protest in which spells out that we LGBT people will not be silenced. Our State Broadcast silenced one of the LGBT ppl: MIss Panti(Firstly my Inspiration; and secondly she does her drag shows in Panti Bar). Saturday Night Show host interviewed Rory O' Neill(Panti out of drag). He named a few homophobes etc., This obv upset a few people. Personally I agree with him. SInce then Ireland has gone major in this topic "Homophobia". At the protest The Guest speakers were as follows
Caroline Early (LGBT Noise)
.....
Senator David Norris
David Carroll BeLong TO CEO
Max Krzyzanowski(Action for Russia)
In the words of Senator David Norris. "We were silence for 2000 years", We gonna kick ppl up da arse.
Ma came down to me to want me to come out with her. I obv refused. So she questioned me relating to my sis' behaviour. I explained that words are poisonous. She is udner the illusion of ""Simply move on". I went on to say how can anyone, move on from the Crhsitmas Day debacle like the Christmas Day debacle as I like to call it. I should rename it to Christmas Day Massacre. I think that actually occured in US.
LGBT Noise: http://lgbtnoise.ie/
ACtion for Russia Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/ActionForRussia/
BeLongTo: http://www.belongto.org/
Saturday, 1 February 2014
Diary 1st February 2014
As I was about to head to bed (due to my sleep problems its varies), I was heading to bed for around 10am due to get up around 5pm or so I got a call more so a HELP plea. I'm just purely fed up with trying to fix ppl's problems. The sooner I getta outta here the better. I believe NYC is waiting for me. They just don't know it. I can feel it. Now don't get me wrong, I love helping the one person I love and adore. I don't mind helping those who SERIOUSLY need helping. My sis in this case drastically needed my help. She contacted me on FB to call up to her in the Day Hospital cause Mom was literally bullying her. Like saying stuff of all sorts. Me sis has done alot for the family and yet no acknowledgement etc., The only people who are keeping me alive are my gay friends on FB and my mates in the OUthouse. I feel at home and myself there. So I thank you +Brendan Eoin O'Farrell and +Brendan Searson for being there. I wanna thank also my mates on Facebook. Only for you I'd be long gone. My Inflatables and my sleeve unfortunately don't do it for me in terms of keeping me sane. Eg Before I met my mate O'Farrell for the film I, Frankenstein I was seriously depressed more so suicidal kinda thing. When I met up with him, I was myself. Didn't give a care in the world who was listening etc., ie I was MYSELF. For my sis to say the only way she'll get peace is "when they's 6ft under". That's how bad they've treated her. Its just unreal. Never thought I'd hear such thing. But technically its the trought. I Mean like why adopt or should I say FOster kids from ROmania if all ur gonna do abuse da hella outta of us. Jsut cause of our sexualirty or mental disorders or whatever. They are living in in da 70's and not making any effort to live in the 14s. Just a total disgrace.
ON a lighter but still related, boy can I not wait for the protest march tomorrow 2nd Feb. ILl be with my own kind or with str8 ppl who support us ie the Allies.
I headed to bed.
ON a lighter but still related, boy can I not wait for the protest march tomorrow 2nd Feb. ILl be with my own kind or with str8 ppl who support us ie the Allies.
I headed to bed.
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